Last year at this time it was days after Guy’s death, and I could still feel tears welling up in my eyes when I thought of it and would shake my head at the absurdity of grieving the death of a fictional character. Just now I felt them start again. Amazing.
Certainly I’ve read books and watched movies that had tragedy and loss and was profoundly moved by the events to the point I shed tears as I was reading or watching. Sometimes I’ve thought about the events for days or weeks later and in some cases months or years later. But my later thinking has always had more to do with intrigue about the human condition and certainly examining it in a kind of detached way. This wasn’t the case with Guy. With him it was personal and a grieving process, and it stunned me. I’ve had to grieve lots of deaths but never someone who’s not real. Honestly, this made me think I really was going nuts, and so my analytical side stepped up to ask why and try to make sense of it and preserve my dignity.
I’ve had a year to think about it, and I’m not sure I’ve completely made sense of it. But I understand much better what’s happened. I’ll be posting more diary entries about this process, and perhaps I’ll find I have CWS. But if I do, it’s not of Richard Armitage but rather this fantastic character he helped to create.
Now you know the real reason I’m anonymous. LOL!
When I was drafting my first post for this blog, I thought about hitting this subject right up front but knew it would not be as satisfying (at least for me) to go right to the issue I’ve wanted most to address. I really did want to have some fun along the way in my self-analysis. Could I have bored you with all sorts of psychoanalytical terms? Oh yeah, I could have. Believe me I know enough of them after up close and personal acquaintance with some psychiatrists. But you don’t want to hear all of that shit, and I really don’t want to type it.
Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.Com