You reminded me of a favorite gift from my childhood–a cassette tape recorder. I used to record music, sing, and made up plays and did funny voices. What a blast I had with that thing!! Wish I still had some of those old tapes . . .
Because of the age difference (sisters 6 and 10 years older) I was sort of like an only child in some ways. Being the youngest, I tended to expect Santa to be extra-good to me, I have to admit. *blushes*

I realize how truly spoiled I was in some respects and deprived in others, and this has been for me to work out lo these few decades. Some of it I worked out before I became a parent, and some of it I didn’t. I just pray the stuff I didn’t work out before having them doesn’t harm them too much.

As for the whole cheer thing, I was re-watching the live action Grinch again the other night, and realized how much I disliked it. Whoville is consumed by Consumerism, trying to outdo each other with maxing out their credit cards, out-tackying their neighbors with excessive lights and stuffing their gullets, but they can’t accept the poor little odd-looking Grinch. I would have been disgusted with them, too, if I were him.
And I am a very unGrinchy person. Forced cheer, false cheer, can be wearing. It’s OK to admit you’re tired or a bit sad or pensive.

Christmas is always a weird time for me, being an atheist. By the end of December my patience for politely indulging so much Christmas cheer has run quite thin. As a kid, Christmas taught me a lot about gender. Being given gifts that reflected by status as a girl, rather than what young Skully was actually interested in, implied that I was seen as a girl, rather than a unique person with her own interests (like He-Man and matchbox cars!). Its a weird way of looking at it but Xmas always felt like a time of self-erasure.

It was great not having that pall cast over the occasion. My olderest sister said last weekend that she knew it sounded odd, but the agonizing ordeal of my mother’s last days actually had a good side–we got to spend more time together than we had in years, which was true. Everyone has gotten scattered out and with their own obligations and schedules and it is hard to get together anymore. So I am really glad it all worked out.

As for gifts, I am big on books and bookstore giftcards. To me reading is the gift that keeps on giving, over and over again. Of course, Mr. A is also the gift who keeps on giving through his DVDs and audiobooks, so I have shared several of his works with my sisters for birthdays and Christmases. I think giving to support charities/scholarship funds is also a true testament of the spirit of the holidays.

My good friend Frances Frakes, who is in her 80s and a marvelous lady, told me a couple of years ago how they give to selected charities in the names of their children and adult grandchildren each year and concentrate on enjoying good food and family time. She paints the most beautiful icons, by the way and also took shingles blown off the roof of the Episcopalian Church during one of the hurricanes —the church sustained quite a bit of damage–and painted wonderful angels and scripture quotes on them, which they sold to raise funds for their ministries. Talk about taking lemons and making lemonade!

I have one she gave me. Needless to say, it’s special.

Frenz, I hope you have an absolutely fab time with your daughter. Make lots of good memories.

Angie: I hear you on the theme of “visiting when no one is sick.” That must have been wonderful.

My parents were mostly moderate on this issue, neither crazy gifters nor non-gifters. I do remember one really memorable “gift” Christmas when we each got the traditional package of underwear and a book of devotions, and one of the first Atari game systems! That was really neat — and my parents tended to be early technology adopters (they had a microwave oven in 1968). It was once, though. And though I certainly remember Christmas presents I received, none of my most vivid Christmas memories are related to the presents.

When I saw how many presents my nieces were getting from their godparents, I decided that I didn’t need to compete, LOL! Now they each get a book from me or a couple of books, if there’s a good series available, and a donation to their college fund. My brother and SIL also get a donation to their college fund, which is what I also get from my brother and SIL. :) I give my parents a box of really high quality citrus fruit (appreciated in the Wisconsin winter, and something that takes them back to their childhood, when such gifts were a bigger deal) and a donation to my nieces’ college fund. And then I think about charity — first on the list being my nieces college fund :) but I also give to other, mostly educational, charities, including those that paid for my education. Hmm, fixated much? :)

Hope you have a fantastic time surprising your daughter, Frenz! She’ll be really excited, I bet.

I totally see your point, RAF. Giving is good and it’s the right thing to do, but our hearts need to be in the right place. Not trying to outdo or impress or “buy” the affections of someone. I do believe the Lord loves a cheerful giver (and an appreciative recipient, too).
I use my husband–who gave me a Guy laptop skin, an autographed photo of RA, and a Mrs. Richard Armitage keychain lest year–as an example of a generous, understanding and creative giver, bless his sweet, loving heart.

I hope that it’s clear that I don’t think giving is the problem. Give, give and give more. I absolutely love giving. Truly, I love it, but it’s when the motivation is wrong, and especially when it’s been manipulated that I take issue with.

I didn’t realize until I lost so many members of my family over the last few years–parents, in-laws, a 22-year-old nephew–how precious and fragile it all is and how much the time spent together, laughing, joking, breaking bread together, remembering, and even crying a bit is so very important. And I observed how beautiful and sweet and bright and generally wonderful my great-nieces are, and rejoiced in that.

I am a Scrooge after the transformation, a big, soft marshmallow of a creature, but I can easily see how people can become caught up in the pressures to succumb to the media and marketing people and put themselves in hock to provide a “big” Christmas and make themselves miserable doing it. And that isn’t what it’s supposed to be all about, is it?

Last night I drew artwork on the envelopes of each of the cards I am giving to my co-workers today as I watched the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol (the hands-down best one). That little extra effort put smiles on their faces. That was a reward for me. That being said, I am not mailing out hundreds of cards (who can afford the postage?) or splurging on gifts I can’t afford, but looking for bargains I know the recipient will like and enjoy.

Give memories, not things. Things break and batteries die and we get bored. Memories sustain us through the dark and painful times and make the good ones even better.

I’ll get back to snark sometime after Christmas. :D

I hope you both have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas!