When I was a kid, I used to laugh about the crazy people in my family. Their trips to mental institutions or barricading themselves in their houses was a source of almost never ending mirth. Everyone in the family laughed about it including those who had been afflicted. At family reunions the joke was that the family crest should be three guys in straightjackets.
Then adulthood came with a vengeance, after college sometime, maybe 27, and I got serious and self-conscious about the very real nuts with whom I share a bloodline. Eventually, I also became afflicted with a good ol’ full blown nervous breakdown.
For the uninitiated, there is no such thing clinically as a nervous breakdown. Usually all sorts of other diagnoses are assigned to a person’s condition. Things like bi-polar with recurring anhedonia and occasional paranoia. Such fun and it comes with lots of medication too, and I’m not saying I’m down on medication. I’m glad I took it ’cause as the doctor said, it pulled me out of the hole I was spiraling further into, and once I was out, I was able to deal with the real issue of why I went there in the first place.
And may I tell you that coming out of the hole, out of the other side of a mental breakdown and yes, I’ll say it — insanity — is empowering. Yes, I’m saying this made me stronger, and it fascinates me how this kind of intense pressure and almost decimation of something that then survives and thrives more heartily afterward is reflected in nature.
One of the best things about the experience is that it made me lighten up about life and my family although sometimes I can start walking down that road again. The good news is I usually recognize the road after a short time instead of years later. Mainly, my experience allowed me to realize I had been too serious about myself. Let me put a fine point on that. I was too self-aware, too self-absorbed, too self-centered, and there is nothing more miserable. It’s also boring after a while.
I’m not saying everyone should have a nervous breakdown in order to gain strength, but if you have recently had one, don’t be ashamed. Learn from it and use it. And for the record, I do talk about this as my real identity and have absolutely no shame about what happened. I made a mistake. I had beliefs and habits that needed to change, and they did. It would have been great if I hadn’t suffered, but that’s not how it was going to be for me, and now I don’t care.
Speaking of crazy, yesterday, I highlighted a blog with ‘crazy’ in the title, and today, I’m going to highlight a few more:
Mad Scientist. Crazy Mom — very interesting person and blog. I will be spending more time there.
The Crazy Thing about Hugarians — isn’t that redundant? No, I’m just kidding. I’m learning some interesting facts from this blog.
youmuttonmeeecrazy — oh yeah, this guy is talking my language although I’m not quite as jaded as I used to be. Thank God.
My Richard Armitage segue: I would love to see him playing a character who is losing his mind or has lost his mind. Maybe we’ll get a taste of that in The Hobbit: There and Back Again. This screencap is from The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, but it could hint at some of what we may see in the next installment:
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Yes, I would love to see him play insanity with more subtly and layers than Thorin has, but for now, I’ll run with this one.
See your tomorrow