Are you in need of some mirth? No, make that belly laughs to the point of almost being sick (yes, I’m being serious about this — when I’m not laughing so hard I literally — yes, I mean actually — can’t type), then visit a certain gay gossip site.
Over the course of this blog’s life and especially in the last couple of weeks, I’ve had people send me notes in regard to that site, and they go something like this, “Unreal what they say over there,” or “I can’t believe what I read,” or “They’re nuts.” And aren’t we glad? I know I am.
Whenever I’ve gone to that site, I’ve laughed my ass off. Actually, I wish it could make me laugh my ass off and then I would happily pay them a fortune. All I know is I’m laughing so hard that it ought to do something earth shaking. But usually it just makes my family wonder what drug I’ve taken. The other night I was laughing hysterically, and SO, who was on the other side of the house, finally yelled, “What’s so funny?!” I was literally (damn there’s that word again) almost busting a gut, and there were tears in my eyes, and I was just rolling around with every nerve ending on my body being tickled. When I heard that question, I began to compose myself, and it did feel like coming off of a high. Once I was calmed down enough to think straight, I thought, “I need to go to that site more often ’cause it’s way better than any nitrous oxide.”
And the thread which put me over the top?
Stars no one thinks are gay but you
When I started reading, I was thinking, yeah, that person seems gay. Uh huh, yeah that person too. Oh yeah, definitely that person. But then I see this:
Vince Vaughn
Nah, I’m not feelin’ that one.
Then further down:
Jimmy Stewart
No, I don’t think so.
Then a gimme:
George Bush
Moving on from the wiseass, I read:
Harrison Ford
No way! UNLESS Harrison Ford really can act!
I start to giggle on that one.
I read on:
Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah, this I can see. Not because Jerry is gay but because he doesn’t seem like a guy who wants to be crossways with anyone, so he may even love being on the list. I can hear Jerry now, “When I’m gay, these are things I do……, but I’m not gay — at least not today. Catch me tomorrow.”
I started to have a deeper throated chuckle at this point, and then it started to get serious:
Jim Henson
The poster thought he really died of aids.
Another poster agreed.
Someone took exception:
It was pneumonia, bitches.
(No, I’m not making this up.)
Anyway, I’m trying not to belly laugh at this point — no offense to Jim Henson’s memory.
Then someone really got into the spirit of the topic and posted this:
Julie Andrews
Martha Stewart
Ronald Reagan
Carol Burnett
Troy Aikman
Christopher Reeves
That’s when I fell off the bed laughing. SO was concerned and wanted to see what I was reading. Then he started laughing too and we ended up comprising our own list of those who no one thinks are gay “but you.” So glad for the “but you.” There’s some sort of comfort in it.
Okay, so maybe there is a question mark about Christopher Reeves.
If you decide to make your own list, there is a proviso. It must include someone worth being on the list. Let me put a fine point on that, if a person is good looking or extremely charismatic or highly successful, they are gay. If someone is ugly or a loser, they are straight mother f*ckers. ;-) Yeah, I’m puttin’ that wink there for the people who have no humor.
I gotta go back to that site. May have to make another visit today. I need something to take away the bad taste of that hellaciously long meeting from yesterday (yes, it’s still with me and impacting my schedule today), and a bunch of mouthy queens might do the trick.
For those guys at the gossip site, love ya, and hope you don’t mind this “frau” having a chuckle or two at your expense. Hey, we’re all anonymous, so it shouldn’t matter. :D
note: new tag – Oh the places you’ll go. I should have done that tag a long time ago! Need to go back and tag some old posts with that one.
RAFrenzy 