Yep, I am Insane. It’s Official

HOC_Profile2

I think I have gone insane for real, but I’ve done this for SO. I swear. He’s a Kevin Spacey fan. Actually, the whole family are fans especially second oldest daughter. She had a massive crush on Spacey when she was a teen. I told her, “You do realize he’s older than I am?” She said, “I don’t care. He has a beautiful mind.” This may explain why her current boyfriend is 12 years older. Oy. No, seriously, I like her boyfriend and SO does too.

But where was I?

Oh yeah, talking about something I did that’s nuts. I entered the drawing for The House of Cards. When SO was sick and could barely do anything, he watched a lot of shows on Netflix, and that was one of them. He’s loved Spacey since The Usual Suspects.

That means if by some freak chance I win this contest, SO is going to love it. Touring the set of the show, eating barbeque with Kevin Spacey. Yep, that’s why I’ve done this. The BBQ is the perfect capper.

Freddy's BBQ Joint
SO is a major barbeque fan. Yeah, that’s what this is about and not because I’m caught up in the hysteria of this fan odyssey and just can’t stop spending money. I’m a tightwad, people!

Dear Mr. Spacey.

See, even a tightwad will spend money on fan shtuff. Hope you’re thinking about that video for The Crucible. Oh you don’t know what I’m talking about? I explain it here. And just so you know, there are lots of us who will push the video on our sites.

Signed,
Richard’s Crazy Fan, a fan whose purse strings have been irrevocably loosened by the man who played the tall, dark, handsome, cotton-mill owner

Actually, I am celebrating. I just finished two huge projects, and I’m about to get a serious paycheck. This also means that friends who have been waiting on me to help them finish their projects will now have my time more freely beginning Monday of next week — at least until the first part of July.

Eat the Fake Dye or the Bugs Get It

Update at the bottom.

Oh yeah, it’s a tangent.

The other day my eleven year old and I were out for what she calls “a Big Day.” This involves special things and special places like hiking up one of our favorite trails or going to the zoo, or going to a movie or any number of things that allow us to spend some quality time together doing something we love. Whatever we do, it almost always means a trip to Starbucks. She loves the Strawberries and Creme Frappucino, and I just like strong coffee. But when we sat down to enjoy our drinks, a strong strawberry smell wafted into my nostrils, and I commented to her how much more strawberry it smelled than ever before and maybe the baristas treated her to some extra “juice”? Now I’m wondering exactly what made it so pungent.

Starbucks, in an attempt to please their customers who desire that all of their ingredients come from natural sources, has changed from a synthetic red dye for some of their items to cochineal which is made up of ground insects by the same name. This was irritating to learn. I had already salved my conscience with the thought my daughter consumes synthetic red dye only on occasion, and now I had to learn about this bug! I went in search of information on the cochineal. Ohmygosh, who knew so much was written about it?! And really, I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing, but since I do, well, I’m just curious as hell about everything that comes into my path, so now I’m following this blog.

The Culprit

But my concerns are piddly compared to the vegans. They are up in arms about the approximately 70,000 cochineal that are sacrificed for one pound of dye. Horrors! I have no idea if this is true, and I don’t care, but you can see the supposed statistic here. Which makes me wonder, “What do these people do all day that they have time to ponder this crap?!”

Psst: I would hate for feminist to find out that these are female cochineal.

Do you think Richard Armitage might be a vegan? NOoooooo, he likes food too much, and he did mention the turkey. :D

Update: So Starbucks caved to the vegan pressure, and in so doing hurt the economy of some parts of Africa. See Bug Girl’s post.

Meeting Richard

Tammi, my close friend whom I’ve talked about on blog here and here (with her permission, and yes, that’s her real name although I gave her the option of a fake name, and she said run with the original. phew), has said to me several times recently, “Wouldn’t it be great if you met Richard Armitage?!” My feeling about it is, no, it probably wouldn’t. This occurred to me when Heather was sharing her experience. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad for Heather; it felt like my child making good on something. How wonderful for her to realize a dream of five years! But my dream is far different.

I would want a chat with him that would last at least a few weeks non-stop. But my real fantasy (yes, I’m admitting to a fantasy about Richard Armitage) is him sitting in my den discussing various subjects with SO and with me as spectator. Two interesting men having wonderful discussions about topics that fascinate me? Umm, I might get lightheaded if I think about it for long. RA is so intriguing, but honestly, after knowing SO for more than two decades, he’s still an enigma to me, and what I really love about him (among many other things) is his ability to bring out the interesting in others. Can you imagine RA being more interesting? It could happen if he were to sit with SO, who could get at what RA thinks and what he likes, and I would marvel at what RA would willingly reveal in the discussion, and I don’t mean any sordid details but rather something probably to do with his view of the world and what he would love to see and how he thinks art reflects that or should and thinking more outside the box than even he is accustomed to doing. I’m always amazed at how SO can evoke this from others, and they love him for it. Maybe because they usually feel hopeful after a discussion with him.


And since my den and kitchen sort of make up one giant room, I would get to cook all the foods I think RA would love and I know SO loves while I listen to them plumbing the mysteries of the universe and creating new ones. Some chicken flautas with sour cream and guacamole, rice and beans and definitely some hand made flour tortillas cooked on my cast iron griddle to complement. Grilled shrimp, asparagus on the side and some homemade yeast rolls. Smothered steak with mashed potatoes and steamed, whole green beans with a little butter and garlic, and maybe some bread pudding with brandy (recipe from the Southern Living cookbook). Yeah, I can see myself cooking away while savoring their conversation. This would be heaven. And now that Tammi is coming along nicely as an RA Addict, I might invite her to help me cook. :D

Maybe when the discussion lulls, we could take RA to our local ski “hill” and let him schuss and slalom with some of the world class athletes who frequent the slopes around here. We might even get him to take on the ski jump — at night when it really gets fun.

But an actual meeting with him wouldn’t be like Heather’s where she had something to discuss with him. Mine would consist of manifesting a gibbering idiot while trying to get out the terribly original, “Oh, I love your work.” Nope, that wouldn’t be satisfying at all, and frankly, I would feel like a ditz while it was happening and later. Yes, I’m proud, and if I’m going to even think about meeting RA, it’s going to be one heck of a fantasy.

However, if I ever get anywhere near him in the flesh, I’ll just settle for ogling him from a distance close enough to assess the condition of his skin. :D

Promotional still courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

Can’t Get Off of This

I have a serious (no, it’s a semi-serious, oh heck, it’s a snark) piece about Lucas North. But I’m saving it for later after I’ve gorged my imagination on Richard Armitage and food. I’m also wondering if all of you have a favorite food you like to eat while watching him — animated or stills. Or perhaps you have a food for him animated and one for him in stills. Bring it on, and yeah, I’m going to tell you mine. :D

Actually, I have a food for each of his characters.

Harry — blackberry cobbler, which is sweet with a zing, and topped with some ice cream.

Monet — some sort of white wine, and does it matter what I eat with it?

Guy — a big chunk of devil’s food cake with lots of hot fudge slathered on top or a steak.

Lucas — blackened red snapper. Fish and chips don’t quite fit him.

John Standring — cheese (any kind) before the transformation and some pudding after.

John Porter — Masgouf and falafel on the side, which I can pop in my mouth as I watch all the episodes in one sitting.

John Thornton — beef stew and later some sort of cream pie (I’m not particular) at the finale.

Ricky — definitely fish and chips, and the greasier the better.

Alex — what else but orangesicles.

John Mulligan — dry toast with nothing on it. Maybe a little butter. And some black coffee.

Heinz — Not sure about this one. No German foods seem to really fit him. I’m at a loss. I did eat nachos and popcorn on my first viewing. Perhaps some German chocolate cake (it’s my favorite cake), or is that too lame?

Yes, I’ve left out a few. Have to think about them some more, but for now I’m thinking about the future:

Thorin — carne asada tacos al carbon. Oh yeah! And something later that’s topped with a chocolate mole. Or I could eat a 1/2 pound cheeseburger in honor of Peter Jackson.

edit: I meant to list one more! Paul — pistachio nuts ’cause they’re salty and a little sweet, and I can’t stop eating them even when I know I should.

Graphic courtesy of Teena via RichardArmitageNet.com

What the Heck is in Nutella?

Before I get back to Richard Armitage and while I’m still on food, I’ve got to say something about this, and no, it’s not pronounced Nut-ella but New-tella. Yeah, it definitely makes people tella, and tella, and it just seems like they’re high on something. I think it’s a narcotic or maybe just enough chocolate to make it subject to being a controlled substance. Something’s going on. What else to explain the behavior of those who unabashedly consume it and become rabid pushers of it. I did have the thought that this might be RA in food form. These people bear a striking resemblance to some of us. :D

This is one of countless people who gorge themselves on Nutella:

And they don’t just eat it alone. How about some cat hair with your Nutella:

And the cooks are all over it. A little cleavage with your Nutella (this one’s for the guys who read my foolishness):

A Twitter buddy who heightened my awareness of this stuff is to thank for this post:

Or a jar of Nutella, and speaking of which, my friend and others are not satisfied with reveling in the goodness of this stuff. They’re going for world domination. And you thought it was just Super Bowl Sunday. :D

I’m holding out though. Still haven’t tried Nutella. I may do it later today when everyone has their heads in the tv. That way I won’t be self-conscious if I suddenly down a jar.

edit: you’re going to love this.

So Where Was I?

Oh yeah, I’ve committed to blogging 365 days this year, and amazingly, I’m still excited about that. What day is this? It’s the 35th day. Never mind. I’ll manage the other 331 posts somehow.

Or since food seems to be such a hot topic for me, I guess I could talk about my trip to Jack in the Box when I was in Denver the other day.

I love their tacos. Here’s one of the babies in all of its greasy glory:

Yep, they’re terrible for you, but if I were stuck somewhere outside the U.S. (oh maybe held as a hostage in a Russian prison), that’s what I would want when I came home. :D

Back on topic tomorrow. A picture until then:


[click to enlarge]

Screencap courtesy of Richard Armitage Central

edit: Wait a minute! That should be 330 posts.

The Truth is Out

Dear Richard,

You love food and I love food. Oh, heck, we’re both eaters like Nigella (yeah, I know it was the chunk of chocolate cake that had you salivating), but well, I just need to talk about food because really that’s what I want to talk about! And the truth is every time I talk about it, I get all sorts of attention, and man, I need lots of attention — especially about food. Why didn’t I realize that is what I need to soothe my savage breast? See even my metaphors are about food. I was thinking about egg fried rice with chicken breast when I said that. And I’m so relieved I can talk so freely about this since the web already knows.

It all started with the cookedturkey.jpeg. Google knew I had a thing for it, and was so kind to make that the top image for cooked turkey, and it brought me loads of people to read about you! Karma, baby, karma. How do I know? You let something slip in your last message to the fans. And now I know, and of course Google knows you put those dumbbells down and ate some turkey!

As if that weren’t grand enough, this morning WordPress has me featured in their food topic which used yesterday’s piece. I sort of reblogged a recipe from Warm Vanilla Sugar, who’s probably getting some odd traffic about now. But I’m glad. It’s an excellent site, and I should know since I’ve spent a lot of time there. You need to make a visit.

As long as I’m revealing all my secrets, I might as well confess this is my favorite picture of you:


[click for something extra]

When you bit into that sausage, I became a fan for life! I AM NOT kidding about this. And you made that sausage look so good. Every time I think about it, I have to eat some. The first time I saw ‘Sparkhouse’, I did my usual with your work and watched it several more times. SO finally said after a couple of weeks, “You know I love bratwurst, but could we have a break for a few weeks?” Oh, you don’t know SO? Let’s keep it that way. He’s not as into food as you and I. Although if the subject of barbeque comes up, don’t even bother bringing it up. He is particular about his bbq.

Oh, I’m loving this, and now that my secret is out (that this is really a food blog), I will be writing about food and you much more often.

Signed,
unnuvvoorcwazyfans (Phew! That Johnsonville was good! )

P.S. I know Peter Jackson is right there with us on this. Good times. Good times.

You can thank WordPress and this snark facilitator and foodie for the post.

Screencap is mine

Note to fellow bloggers: the food tag is powerful.