The last day or so has been interesting. I’ve received several notes from fellow fans concerned about my becoming disappointed if Richard Armitage never acknowledges my request of a recorded fan message, and I just received another one a few minutes ago. It’s compelled me to make this post.
I want all of you who sent me a note to know that I really appreciate you trying to allay any possible disappointment on my part. But I have to reiterate that I do call my letters “fake fan letters,” and I do that for a reason. They are larks as is this whole blog really, and if RA or any of “his people” ever see them, that’s great. If not, that’s fine too. I also find it intersting that about once a week someone tells me they think he reads my blog, and I was going to write about this phenomenon eventually. I guess today is the day. I’m sure someone somewhere who’s involved with show business and who has a six degrees of separation thing going on with RA has read my blog. But I’m not too worried about Richard Armitage or anyone close to him reading it and no one else should be either.
And my written letters have been so over the top that no one has ever really taken me seriously and never been concerned about what I’ve said to the point of worrying about my well being. But obviously this latest “letter” has provoked concern, and I think I know why. It was the tone of my voice. My voice is naturally very deadpan, which at times has been a stumbling block for me. I was deadpan almost out of the hatch if Mom and Dad are to be believed, and then I spent most of my adult years working in a profession that was highly technical, and well, deadpan was the way we all communicated, and actually the more deadpan the better. The more deadpan, the more gravitas with that bunch.
But deadpan can sometimes equate to seriousness that may not exist. People who don’t really know me do often think I’m serious when I may not be. Couple that with my attempt to sound emotional, and well, it just doesn’t sound very good. I was being extremely emotional for me in that recording! I was working hard to give a cadence to my voice so that it didn’t sound like I was falling asleep and perhaps making all of you fall asleep as well, but I think it just came off sounding needy. And it was hard work! Yet I knew if I did more than one take that it would sound stilted. So I left it as it is, and to some of you it sounds like I’m hinging my entire being on RA making a recording. Fascinating how much our voices send a message even if we don’t intend it, and apparently, I’m woefully in need of some skills. Richard? Richard? Do you hear that? :D Sorry, I couldn’t resist. However all of this has gone down, I think it’s so fitting that my voice should generate such a reaction given the subject of my FanstRAvaganza posts.
Oh, please don’t get me wrong. I would love it if RA got wind of my request (whether he knew it was mine or not) and responded with a recorded message. I would be tickled, and I would hope the whole fandom would be tickled, and it would never be construed as playing favorites. I’ve also gotten those cautions in the last day too. But the only favorite I’ve wanted him to play is with Nat. Yes! I admit that unabashedly. Guilty as sin on that one! LOL! But do we all agree that Nat is special? Yeah, I thought so. However, I think there’s about a snowball’s chance in hell of that or the recording happening and especially not when I consider the request is by someone from a piddly blog like mine. I’m not trying to wallow in self-deprecation to impress any of you by saying that. Frankly, I have no one in my life to impress. SO and I know each other too well to try to impress each other, so I feel no compulsion to impress anyone, and can I tell you it’s a lovely place to be? Okay, I’ll stop on that because I feel a tangent coming on. Just know that I’m a realist.
But also please know that I’ve never aspired to Richard Armitage reading my blog to have fun here. Thank God! LOL! If I really thought Richard Armitage had time to read all of these blogs, and I was expecting him to receive what I’ve said, I would have gotten my feelings hurt a long time ago. But thankfully, I’m just having some fun, and I hope all of you are as well! Additionally, I just don’t get my feelings hurt too often, and certainly not by someone I don’t know. If we’re talking about SO, that’s a whole ‘nother story. He has the ability to raise an eyebrow at times and hurt my feelings. Poor guy. LOL!
I’m not quite sure what I should label this post. I started to title it “Lighten Up, Francis” but felt that would have been too flippant and ultimately demeaning to those who expressed real concern for me, and again I thank all of you for that. So I’ll just leave it by saying please don’t worry, and let’s get back to having some fun. :D
In that interest, I can’t help but do this:
Dude, if you ever really do read my blog, please, please know that I’m not pining for you to respond. Really I’m not. Now I realize this may sound like the lady doth protest too much, but well, I don’t know how else to say it.
Net: I like to watch your stuff whether you’re moving or not, and given that, I do hope you have never felt anything here was done at your expense. That aside, uh, well, uh, dammit, man! I’m having a good time, and I hope the specter of your presence never gets in the way.
Phew, there I said it.
One of your crazy fans, who has enough serious stuff going on elsewhere to seldom want to get close to it here and hopes you understand that. I think you do! Unless my gut is way off, and I don’t think it is.
P.S. Oh, and hopefully, one day soon you will no longer be a faceless blob on Netflix. :D
I’ve got to have a picture! Hmmm. Let me see. What would put us back on track? Oh yeah:
If you click on it, you get the big version. :D
Screencap courtesy of Karima. At least I think this is one of hers.