Interrupting Your Fangurling With an Important Message

I was just reading Calexora’s piece about quitting her blog. I’m sorry she feels bad. We are all entitled to our feelings, and no one should be made to feel bad about feeling bad, which I hope this post does not do, but her post begs a response. No, that wasn’t snark although it does sound like it. What I’m getting at is that I respect her decision, but I also want to address some of the issues she raised.

Can there be crazy fans who deserve a celebrity’s contempt? Yes, and in the case of Gerard Butler, I understand it. Awhile back I was looking for a picture of Richard Armitage on Photobucket and landed on an album with basically stalking pictures of Gerard Butler. Phew! Scary shit. My gut tells me it’s the tip of the iceberg. So when ol’ Gerry made some cracks, I don’t blame him. As for Calexora, I’ve never gotten the impression she’s like the crazy fan Gerry finds amusing.

Onto Richard Armitage. He’s a helluva actor, and he’s been nice enough to communicate with his fan base. Let’s hope he never complains like Gerry’s doing, but if he does, that’s his business.

Mostly, the point of this piece is that it’s good to laugh, let’s enjoy each other, and NEVER take this stuff too seriously. Whether it’s fair or not, Richard Armitage is a diversion for me and not my life’s blood, and that fact should take nothing away from him.

Lastly, this idea that Richard Armitage reads our blogs is erroneous. It does not happen. So I hope some of you can rest easy with that — unless you were hoping he did. :D

edit: if you’re still taking this too seriously, see the comment section.

note: Calexora did eventually erase her blog, so that link above leads nowhere.


  1. The interesting thing is that GB doesn’t realize that by describing this behavior in public, he’s actually giving the stalker what s/he wants. One of the dynamics in the stalker’s mind is that since he doesn’t qualify for positive attention (in a rational world), any attention is good attention — even ridicule. It’s the same dynamic that drove Michael Jackson, and, one presumes, the Kardashians.

  2. You are right! I wonder why he did it. Ignorance?

  3. I think I still have a link to that Photobucket album. I was going to write a snarky piece about it at some point without linking to it, but I was going to snag one picture to make hay out of it.

  4. Mutatis mutandis: the woman (or women?) who sent Richard Armitage pictures of themselves in bikinis with their phone numbers written on them got from him the ultimate validation — that he noticed them and discussed his reaction to it in an interview. That was all they could rationally expect from that approach, and it provoked exactly the reaction they were hoping for.

  5. Right again!

    I’m so glad he didn’t make a verbal message to fans, which he could do and it would have nothing to do with my blog piece. But damn! someone could construe it that way. LOL!

    Wonder if Richard is getting savvy to this stuff. Hope he is.

  6. Inter alia, this is why it’s so important he keep acknowledging the fan contributions to various charities on his behalf.

    G-d I love Latin abbreviations.

  7. I was taught as a young teacher that for many difficult children, getting negative attention was better than getting no attention at all. You are right, Serv. By acknowledging this woman, he is validating her actions to some degree and feeding the monster.

    I am always sorry to see someone behave as this obsessed fan is doing and truly feel empathy for anyone being stalked like that. But I suppose, in reality, anyone who is in the public eye has a good chance of encountering such a person in their lives.

    And this type of behavior isn’t new, from some of the reading I have done.

  8. My comment is nothing to do with fandom but everything to do with social media. I’ve just had to cull my Facebook page to remove a family of trolls and create a professional page because of a form of harrassment.

    It made me feel quite ill yesterday, so I can understand where Calexora’s coming from. Social media has a way of taking something out of context and running with it until the person affected (in this case Calexora) feels they have no where to go but away. Calexora, don’t give up. I love your blog even though I don’t comment. Same with Frenz and Servetus! Keep Calm and Carry On!

    I feel that I should just close my FB account down and run with the professional one. The difficulty for a relatively unknown writer like me is building the support all over again! The effort looks like Mt.Everest.
    Frenz: if you want to send fans with artwork and poems etc to my FB writer’s wall, I am happy to look and potentially post any creativity that celebrates the Gisborne that inspired me in the first place. Shameless plea now over. Keep doing what you do well, girls! The sense of humour’s the thing…

  9. I hope it’s clear that my post is to the fandom, but I don’t think I made it clear that I feel bad for Calexora. I hope she can laugh about this sometime.

  10. Remember I stated that I was going to NZ for the Hobbit premier if Callie made room for me? Well, I think that is NOT going to happen now. I am disappointed.

    I think people are at different levels emotionally, no? So if some women sent RA their phone numbers and their underwear, well that is what they did and though it may not be totally rational or “mature”, I think that still does not border on stalking. Maybe they were testing their own inhibitions, maybe they saw it as a risk and a thrill. Maybe they really hoped RA would call. Hey, I saw a story on the “view” where Sandra Bullock called a fan who has sent her a letter and his number. She left a rambling messsage on his voice mail that they played on air. He apparently works for the View. But I suppose people think the same will happen to them.

    To me a stalker is someone who is clearly not well and cannot differentiate reality from fantasy and is willing to engage in criminal behavior because they simply do not know or cannot manage what they feel and think. I am not there yet! LOL

  11. Prue, request duly noted. :D

  12. I’m sorry if I implied that sending a photo with your phone number was stalking, gracie, that wasn’t my intent — I only wanted to say that the women got the most they could get from that particular action and might have felt encouraged.

    Jazzbaby said something good about this in her interview on my blog, essentially that you have to look at actions in context. For one person getting a tattoo is crazy, for another it will not be. Let every woman have her own conscience. It’s just that I do think that if a celeb is already bothered by a certain kind of behavior from a truly problematic fan, acknowledging it can only validate the van.

  13. and gracie, if you want to go to NZ for the Hobbit premiere or for any other reason, you should go :)

  14. Gracie, you’re right about testing inhibitions. This whole blog is a testing of my inhibitions, so who am I to condemn someone who sends their underwear to RA. I like making fun of it as being in bad taste, but hey, I’m sure some think my blog is in poor taste.

    And you’re right about the definition of stalker. I also think there is behavior that borders on stalker.

  15. Oh no, Serv and Frenz, I just meant that people do all sorts of things that are wacky or in bad taste (according to me anyway) but their logic is based on some reality. I sometimes read things and i am impressed with the hutspa/nerve/nuttiness that people show. There is so many things I could not do and when I read how easy it is for some people, I am amazed and sometimes impressed.

    Please do not think it was me who sent the underwear or bikini and phone number. LOL……

  16. It was MEEEEEE!!!!!! (I went back in a time machine so I could send it before becoming a fan, so that I could be horrified when I discovered it later. Or something.)

  17. I DO NOT think that. LOL! I really was agreeing with the excellent point.

  18. ROFLOL!! Servetus, I just about choked.

    My comment above is to Gracie. Hope that’s clear now.

  19. I believe Calexora should do what is best for her, as we all should.

    I also firmly believe that from all evidence Richard Armitage is a very level headed and intelligent man with a great sense of humor and I would not compare him to Gerard Butler (apologies to GB fans).

    But I also want to say that GB, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, and everyone else that chooses to become an actor knows that some loss, or much loss, of privacy, fans, and etc. come with a measure of success and it was their choice, no one forced them into it. As fans, all we can hope is, as others have said, that we can keep it all in perspective and have fun with it – and if it stops being fun – then it’s time to move on.

  20. LOL @ Serv, I always suspected YOU.

  21. Yeah, I had to go back in the time machine because I had to find a time when I would wear a bikini. Oh, wait, I was never allowed to do that. Hmmm.

    OK, so I went back to before my birth and was born to really wild parents, the kind who would let their daughter wear a bikini, and grew up and THEN sent the photo with the phone number.

    Gotta keep my timeline narrative story straight here.

  22. You’re really my sister, ’cause my parents let me wear a bikini. That’s one reason I make such fun of the notes to RA — I’m secretly ashamed of a family member.

  23. I wish I had the courage to wear a bikini now! And then make a glossy 8×10 picture of me and send it to RA. hahahahahah….

  24. There’s always photoshop. :D

  25. I hadn’t thought of photoshop — but wouldn’t I have to be photographed naked? (I mean, in comparison to that a bikini is a venial sin)

  26. ROFLOL!

    I am going to forget the bikini, photoshop the naked body and see if RA mentions me in the next interview he does. LOL

    I am laughing so much that I am crying. Serv and Frenz, the two of you can take a show on the road. lol

  27. Stop, stop. I can’t function. LOL!!

  28. We do our best. We’ll be here all week, ladies and gentlemen.

  29. thank ya, thank ya verra much.

  30. @Frenz and Serv…ahhh promises. AND threats. You two are badddddd. But in the meantime, we will be entertained ALL weekend!! =0)

  31. We all need to get together at some point and make this video. We can wear costumes and masks if that makes everyone feel comfortable. Might be funnier too.

  32. I must admit that when the topic comes up of fan behaviour it occasionally results in me taking a good look at my own admiration of Richard.
    What it all comes down to, and I am comfortable with this, is that for all the drooling and gushing I do on a couple of blogs (and thankyou for the opportunities frenz and servetus!) my feet are still firmly rooted in reality. As much as I may fantasize about meeting Richard, it has no place in my RL.

  33. Well, I used to wear a bikini years ago………back in the day…oh the memory of it!

    Just thinking about that GB fan, do you think it is likely she was a “loner” and not part of his normal fan base? I haven’t seen the interview so I don’t know what else was said. I’m not aware of anyone in “our little community” who follows RA around. But then maybe I wouldn’t know if they did……..

    I just enjoy the fun and have lots of laughs. Long may it remain so.

  34. Most blogs I come across about actors or celebrities are really boring, containing nothing but the latest interviews, photos, and basically just channelling what is being reported by established entertainment websites. By and large, this is not the case with the RA blogs, where bloggers make an effort to create their own content, give opinions and discuss “issues”. This is fantastic and a great tribute to Richard himself, but it does mean that we are admitting in public to views, emotions, thoughts etc that get to the heart of our love for Richard. So yes, this could be embarrassing at times, now and in future. So humour and lightness of tone are essential I think. And also what Servetus says about giving to charity.

  35. Well put, Kap. I commented on an earlier post that I feel the RA community is generally speaking a reflection of Richard himself- generous, thoughtful, funny and intelligent, and that’s what sets the RA blogs apart from the other “celebrity” blogs you mention.

  36. Ah, ladies, please never disappear from the blogosphere……I’m in desperate need of the laughter you inspire. I am also grateful for your ability to make me think more deeply about certain issues.

    Matthew gave me the 1st series of ‘Sherlock” for Christmas and I watched it yesterday – thoroughly enjoyed it.

    I gave him series 1 and 2 of “Dr. Who”. We don’t seem to have much luck with our DVD buying as just after my birthday, “Sherlock” series 1 was ahown on free-to-air television and now the ABC is re-running “Dr. Who” from series 1 with Christopher Eccleston! Then, series 2 will be repeated!

  37. Sorry…Matthew gave me “Sherlock” for my birthday NOT Christmas. He gave me audiobooks of “Dracula” and an episode of “The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency” (by Alexander McCall Smith – has that television series been shown in America?)

  38. uh oh. I’m getting a lot of referrals from the search ‘Gerard Butler crazy fans’. Oh crap! guess what comes up on the first page when it’s entered! I really think we need to make the video. We certainly have plenty of material. :D

  39. Let’s make a video!!!

  40. Gosh I’m laughing so much at your comments. That’s the spirit, let’s keep it that way!! Now, before I start thinking how to take part on the video, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the fan issue:

    So the lady made the error of rising her voice and say “yes you did” [wore a kilt on a red carpet] or something like that. Would it be the same if GB would have just ignored her? The audience laughed about it but the real issue here is that GB publicly aknowledges her existance not only there at the show but as a constant presence in his life, and to be honest, he didn’t seem to be worried about it.

    The very soul of our fan base is a man who would very politely ignore the lady in the audience and wouldn’t take advantage of her for the sake of the show or his popularity. I think that at some point RA will have to deal with this and I’m confident that he will know where to draw the line if a fan steps out of it.

    Now off I go to find my bikini …

  41. Ana, I agree with you. GB did not seem worried about it and as a matter of fact, he played it up for affect! She may be a little wonky, I have no way of knowing her mental state, but I feel they (the host and GB) took advantage of the situation for the sake of a funny show. She was the one being laughed at. Maybe she brought it on herself but she was definitely used for laughs. I am not sure I am okay with that.

  42. My take on it is here:

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