Diary of an RA Fan — Part 25 It’s Between the Ears

See Diary Part 24 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — a day or so later, Fall 2008:

I’ve almost fully immersed myself in the Armitage Army forum, and I guess I didn’t realize until today that Richard Armitage communicated so intimately with his fans. Don’t know how I missed that, but I am loving his messages. This guy, if he’s for real, is a sweetheart. Then again, part of me wonders if he’s real. I wish I could just enjoy this without my bs detector getting in the way, but the cynic will not let me alone.

And my appetite has now been whet to read/listen to as many of his interviews as I can get my hands on. If I’m being manipulated by a publicist, I’m not sure I care. Yeah, I can ignore my bs detector ’cause this feels too good, and it helps that my gut is screaming Richard Armitage is genuine. Maybe I just really want to believe that. I honestly don’t know what to think, but maybe the cynic in me is being challenged, and I love that. I always love it when I’m met with someone who seems real, and ironically, Richard Armitage spends most of his time in public playing someone else. Yet there is something about him, the person, that makes me think he’s genuine. He’s got a kind of purity, and how I can think that after watching ‘Between the Sheets’ is beyond me. But his characters certainly have a thread of innocence, and he does too. I don’t think it’s immaturity. I’m not sure what it is, but he does effect a very intelligent but naive demeanor. If he’s having everyone on, man, he’s one of the greatest actors of all time.

I don’t know that I’ve ever run across a person who was both intelligent and naive so overtly except SO, and it was such a powerful combination in him that it fairly had a lot of the women on our college campus falling all over themselves for him. I remember cleaning out his car one time before we were really together, and he told me to get rid of all the junk, “Just toss all of it if you don’t mind.” Well, I did toss it, but I was so curious about a few of the envelopes with ornate script on them, that I opened some. I had never read anyone’s mail before that, and I felt so awful that I’ve never done it again. But I defend myself with the fact I was “a kid.” No, there really is no defense. I did it, and I wish I hadn’t. I read those notes from a few girls who were madly in love with SO, and not a one had he ever dated or really had much to do with them. But I resolved then never to be one of those gushy women even though we were already serious about each other, and I was already so far from gushy that I’m sure he would have laughed at that vow.

The net effect is that I was too aloof in our first days together because I had eavesdropped on something I never should have done and my self-consciousness kicked in. Wish I could take it all back. Wish I had never let my curiosity get the best of me, and mostly I wish I had not been focused on myself. It did some damage to my relationship with him, and for a long time he didn’t have a clue what was going on. Thankfully, I finally told him what I’d done, and as only he can do, he laughed and made a joke of it, and told me, “Don’t you know by now that I never cared for anyone but you?” He is so earnest that yes, I know it. I know he’s for real, and yet my early training with seeing how awful people can be still has me applying that jaundiced filter too much. I really do have to take my thoughts captive a lot when wondering where some people are coming from. I hate that I’m so distrustful, but the truth is that I am, and I wonder if the idea that to the pure all things are pure will ever describe me.

Later:

It seems Richard Armitage has already ceased his messages. I guess there was a problem. Damn! I don’t know what happened, but people are such a pain in the ass. No, women are such a pain in the ass. Yeah, men are too, but I can’t even get past all the shit women do to get to an indictment of the men. Why can’t people just enjoy something for what it is instead of nitpicking it to death. Damned selfishness! It causes so many of the world’s problems. Oh, well, that was fun while it lasted, and if I’m in denial about Richard Armitage and he’s not really a nice guy, I’d like to stay there. LOL!

Much Later:

Alright! Richard Armitage is going to be in the next season of Spooks. Yes!!

I really enjoyed that show when Matthew MacFadyen was in it, and then I hated how they wrote him out and haven’t watched it since. I guess I’ll have to break down and watch those episodes before this starts, and I don’t have much time! Maybe I should just skip it. Not sure, but I am really looking forward to Richard Armitage being in the show. He is so fantastic with character development that I can’t wait to see what happens. I just hope they keep him more than a season or a couple of shows. I know how they do these characters, and I hope he’s not a Lisa Faulkner. Oh, please don’t let him be a Lisa Faulkner. Surely, they won’t do that!

Present day:

When I read this comment by Richard Armitage, I was intrigued and wondered what it really meant:

I’m ten years behind, but I’m finally growing into myself now,’ he says.

Read the rest here. I think this is the fourth time I’ve linked to this interview, and I’ll probably link some more. Lots to chew on. :D

If there’s an audio of this interview, wouldn’t it be great to hear it! Wonder when Richard Armitage makes it really big if Allison Pearson would ever post such a thing — edited of course so that nothing uncomfortable is revealed. I’m a big fan of Allison’s and may have to actually write her a note about this. LOL! And no, I don’t agree with everything she’s ever said in an article, but I’ve agreed with a lot. I was so bummed when she left the Daily Mail and with such a downer of an exit, but then I realized she’s at the Telegraph. Yea!

And Allison, if you ever read this, I like your picture at the Telegraph, and I’m glad you’re there.

Diary Part 26 here.

Screencaps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.Com and my stash.