I’ve been thinking Harper Collins is “the powers that be.” This was my thought yesterday before posting, but I wanted to cover all the bases. Given the fact they’ve acquired the book rights, I can’t imagine they neglected to obtain rights to the audio book.
April 14, 2011Attn: Audio Book Procurers
Harper Collins PublishingRe: The reading of The Hobbit for release in conjunction with ‘The Hobbit’ movies
Dear Sirs or Madams:
Since my last letter to you, I realized I may have been unfair in assuming your interests are purely pecuniary. So I come with an appeal to your humanitarian inclinations, your desire for the greater good. The beauty of this proposal is it will not only create goodwill of the humanitarian kind, but it will make some so lighthearted and free that their purse strings will be opened wide — among other things.
Do you know what happens to women when Richard Armitage speaks? I will be happy to educate. He’s been known to make them write verse and fantasies, draw and paint pictures, create masterful videos, obviously take up blogging, but most notable has been his ability to make ovaries explode. Hopefully, I don’t need to put a fine point on that. Suffice to say he puts women in a good mood, and in case it’s not clear by my presence here, he is an addiction and we must get our fix. Yes, I admit that’s what this letter is really about. We need our fix and would love it if The Hobbit were available to help. Just think what this would do for the greater good to have that many smiling women.
In the meantime, I will be happy to send you samples of Richard’s work. This would be for the Madams since it would probably be lost on you Sirs.
Thank you for considering, and I am sure all of the significant others would thank you as well.
Sincerely,
One of Richard’s fans who hopes you realize I’m teasing — unless you’re seriously considering!P.S. Pssst, if you are already locked into someone else reading, could you get Richard for something else? We just want to hear him read. May I suggest this book which is in the public domain.
cc:
Peter Jackson
United Agents
The Addict List
This one gets the public service tag.





