What’s a Beard To Do?


Most of you know how I feel about Richard’s beard, and I was disappointed when he was without it at The Hobbit premiere, but has anyone noticed his silence? Not Richard; I mean RichardsBeard. He’s been very reticent the last several weeks. It was hard to see his removal since I love the beard and have wanted to see him interacting again. I tracked him down to find out how he’s feeling:

Me: You were with Richard for so long during the filming of The Hobbit. I mean he wanted you with him. Even favored you over a fake beard! Yet when the reward came, he seemed to cut and run. I would accuse him of bald face, but well….and it just has to be hard for you to be hair and gone again.

RichardsBeard: ::sighs:: To beard, or not to beard? That was the question. But it’s true what you’ve heard that hell hath no fury like a beard shorn…especially when it begins to grow back.

Of course it was disappointing not attending, and it was especially hard when I knew RichardsStubble shadowed himself, but I’m always pragmatic. Remember my motto: A shaved beard only comes back stronger. #Beardhappens.

Truthfully, being left out was partially my fault. As a beard, I could be a bit nettlesome. I insisted Richard share my ideas with Sir Peter for alternate movies titles — There and Beard Again (not to be confused with Hair and Back Again), Lord of the Beards, and my personal favorite, Beards Behaving Badly.

And though normally I’m not prone to bouts of dipsomania, since becoming a #displacedbeard I do admit to spending some time in the pub waiting for my agent to call. #beardslikebeer

Me: Is that anything like a wild hair?

RichardsBeard: You could say that, yes! Maybe more like a #Wild Hair of Durin. This is also a sticking point between me and Richard’s Tastebuds since they seem to prefer wine. The taunts of #LagerisforLosers are especially cutting, but I just tell them #AleingkeepsmefromAiling

Me: I see Sir Peter at least paid tribute to you in one of his vlogs.

RichardsBeard: I’m completely chuffed about the beard segment of Sir Peter’s vlog. My fellow beards and I stole the show, and we’re letting our hair down. #Thebeardsarebasking. We make The Hobbit #beardtastic, even though the Hobbits themselves apparently grow their beards on their feet.

Me: Ooh, that must be tuft for the Hobbits.

So what are you doing now?

RichardsBeard: #KeepingCalmandBeardingOn. It isn’t my intention to dissemble, but after all, that is what a beard does best. #beardyblather

Me: Yes, a beard does conceal if nothing else, but I think you’re capable of much more. And you do it so well! You must be itching to be back at work.

RichardsBeard: Literally. ::laughs:: You know, a little bit, a tad, just a hair of #VisageVengeance will be rather sweet. #TheBeardisn’tBitter, but it may turn out that RichardsFace and I have a purely Antipodean relationship.

Me: Well, I’m hoping when you emerge, that you survive much beyond New Zealand. Perhaps #BeardtoEternity.

note: If you want to catch up with RichardsBeard, you can find him at Twitter.

Photo courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.Com