Diary of an RA Fan — Part 16 The Third One*

See Diary Part 15 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — a couple of years ago minus a few months, a couple of days and maybe two weeks:

It seems I can’t easily get my hands on Between the Sheets. I would have to order another DVD. So I watched a couple of AlisaGB’s clips on YouTube. Once again Richard Armitage is completely unlike any of his other characters. Cloris Leachman came to mind. Maybe it was Paul’s whine. And I’m not keen on him with brown hair, and especially with that catch me/do me cowlick preceding him like an ugly prow. That whine really did get on my nerves, but it’s the whine and his helpless demeanor that makes me curious about this part. I don’t want to mess with this right now. The show just didn’t look very appealing, and the wife? I can’t stand her ’cause she whines too and she’s pushy with it. Could she be more one-dimensional and unappealing? But then this is only an excerpt.

As much as I like Richard Armitage, this might be the first thing I don’t like, and I hate the title. It was enough to sort of turn me off. If anyone else were in this, I wouldn’t bother. Titles like that say no one cares enough to go beyond the prosaic. But then Richard Armitage is in it, so it can’t be that prosaic can it? Maybe it means something else. It was one of his earlier works, but I think it’s after North and South. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll love this. My gut says no, but my gut has said no every time. To a show, I’ve resisted everything of his that I’ve watched except maybe George Gently. Even now looking at the North and South DVD case, there is nothing to recommend it. It’s drab and sounds like a cheap version of the better period dramas, and I absolutely hate that picture of him. That may be the worst picture of him I’ve ever seen. He’s pasty looking and dull. Did someone who doesn’t like him design the cover? It is atrocious. It’s amazing that what looks like something out of a sale bin at WalMart would have led me to spend this much time and money.

SO now asks me periodically what I’m doing, and then looks at me intently. The quiet look on his face is heart wrenching, but I can’t explain! I keep waiting for him to ask me why we have a multi-region DVD player. But he knows the question is already hanging between us. I don’t want to answer because I don’t understand why I bought one. I can’t articulate it, and I don’t want to articulate it. All I know is that I feel like I’ve stepped into something and can’t get loose and don’t want to.

When I was four almost five and couldn’t swim, I jumped into a swimming pool. I remember the sun shining on the water, and the marine color looked like I belonged there. It was awkward to stand on the edge just looking at it. The water bubbling in front of my eyes blinded me as I went in, but it felt so soft and good to slip down in it. I began to feel the water in my nose and wanted to let myself slip further. Then there was a huge woosh behind me and a vise around me, and dad was pulling me to the surface. I don’t remember panicking or crying, and I knew I wanted down in that water again.

*Yannis Kitsos

See Diary Part 17 here.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

Tangent — Words Mean Something Don’t They?

When you join WordPress, you’re automatically subscribed to a blog. That’s fine, and for the most part I’ve enjoyed reading it. But I sometimes let the posts stack up. That was the case the last few weeks. When I finally got around to reading them this week, there was one about “Congratulations to Our ‘Bloggers Who Really Count.'” It was a little blurb about the WordPress bloggers who made a list compiled by the Timesonline.

I have already been fighting off guilt for writing this blog, so I did not want to read the full list. Just the mention of it made me gut check what I’m doing here. Then I read Mulubinba’s post about RA’s charitable bent, and my guilt for spending a little bit of time writing fluff was full blown. Uh, you do know this blog is fluff with a little introspection thrown in? Maybe I’ve been watching too many action shows, so I felt like I had to just tell you that instead of hoping my writing was good enough that you already get it.

Back to self-flagellation. I finally worked up my courage to read that Times piece, and the altruism dripping from the page is almost non-existent. Most of the blogs are about trends from technology to fashion. How does that really make a difference? To someone’s boot time? Or their boots? Maybe if I’d had a little help with my shoes early on, I wouldn’t have worn so many 2-1/2 inch heels, and my mood would have been better, and my relationship with SO would have been better. I know for a fact he got more sex once I went to running shoes with almost all of my outfits. These days I’m mostly in Tevas or Chacos, and they make my mood even better than the running shoes. I wonder if a study has been done on the correlation of wearing comfortable shoes before 40 to a healthy sex life; if not, someone needs to do one. It might be a shot at the Nobel.

But I was all wrong in my thinking. This article is not about making a difference. See how my mind works. That’s what I inferred. I thought something that really counts would be about a blogger who is dealing with people who are starving or dealing with people who have no roof over their heads or have to endure some other kinds of abuse or dealing with any number of things that make this place a much better world for mankind or animals in general. It wasn’t that kind of counting but more the numerical kind like counting fans or money or some sort of hipster scale being tipped.

For bullshit masquerading as beneficence, I could have just read my horoscope today:

Your horoscope for May 19, 2010
Do things with passion today to take care of any detective work that needs to be done, _____ [this is where they put in my first name so I feel like it’s really my personal horoscope]. You will find that high-tech devices and new fangled gadgets will aid in whatever sort of work you are engaged in today. Embrace technology and new ways and attitudes toward the world. Adopt a humanitarian approach toward whatever issues you have in your life that require closure.

And you just thought I was going to talk about JP’s identity crisis. Well, if I can write something that interests me let alone you, I’ll post.

Screencap courtesy of RobinHood2006.com