Sometimes You Can’t Help Sounding Like a Frau

Lee Pace and Richard Armitage together at lastPhoto from a fundraising event in NZ in 2012.

This whole Richard Armitage/Lee Pace thing really is a bit comical and disappointing. It’s not the thought of the validity of this relationship being proved or disproved that engenders my response, and it’s not really about these two men. It’s about the larger issue of this maniacal need to assign something sexual to people who are together in seemingly commonplace situations. I’m not strictly thinking of the park bench scenario but of all the scenarios that have somehow been inferred as portending a sexual relationship. Oh, sure there could be a sexual relationship (I’ve never ruled that out), but I’m talking about the “evidence” on which the conclusion it’s sexual has been drawn:

Let me recap:

  • Going to see a movie together
  • Attending a fundraiser with a large group
  • Attending each other’s performances
  • Eating dinner together
  • Eating dinner together with family present (gasp)
  • Wearing each other’s clothes (oh damn, that’s so sexual)
  • Staying in each other’s homes while visiting (don’t grown, middle-aged men know they cannot do this without it being sexual)
  • Visiting each other during the holidays (definitely up to something sexual)
  • Refusing to answer questions about private life (oh shit; trying to hide something sexual)
  • At least one of the parties playing homosexual characters (yep, definitely a sexual relationship going on)

Maybe I’m naive, but can two people of the same sex who are middle-aged and single actually be close friends without someone else assigning a sexual connotation to their relationship?

A few weeks ago a friend of mine was over to visit, and she wanted me to see something on Facebook. She pulled it up, and then we ended up looking at a mutual friend’s photos, and this mutual friend had all sorts of vacation pics with another woman, and my friend said to me later, “I think she’s probably gay.” I asked, “What do you base that on?” The answer was the vacation pictures with the other woman, and that there were no pictures of men. Nothing else. Just the fact that these two women had been on vacation together on three occasions. Oh, and also that they’re both single and middle-aged.

Sadly, I’ve heard people make sweeping statements based on less, and this kind of assessment seems to occur much more often in the last several years. Can’t people of the same sex just be close friends anymore? Probably not since everything seems to be sexualized. That’s sad to me because friendships are so precious, and how frustrating to think that if you’re middle-aged, single and hanging out on a regular basis with someone of the same sex, then there is the specter that it is sexual. What a drain.

And even gay people are tired of the myth (see #3 and #4 and maybe #7) that if they are around people of the same sex it must be sexually motivated.

Then again, maybe it’s good for a laugh. James Franco seemed to give that appearance. Of course he was also promoting a project.

I did say that speculation was a favorite past time, and I still stand by that, but I also like to be reasonable unless, like Franco, I’m unreasonable to get a laugh or make a point.

note: Frau is a term commonly assigned to a certain set of fangirl and often used as an epithet on a particular gay gossip site. Frankly, I’ve found it uproariously funny when I’ve read it.

RA’s Diary — Gluteal Dreams

Whenever I think of Richard Armitage these days, I mostly think what he may be doing about his career. I also remember he’s a sly one at times as he was when he was shooting Captain America. No one knew about that until he was in the middle of it, and I chuckled to myself at the time and then I wrote this:

RA’s Diary

Entry — On Location with Captain America

The afternoon before my shoot:

I finally got to Manchester and met with the production people. It was fantastic to be back on a movie set. Much different from “Frozen.” So much has changed in just a few years, and this picture has some serious money behind it. When I was younger, I’m not sure I cared about that, but now? I understand the importance of capitalizing these things after all of the legwork I’ve done on Richard III. I will definitely be taking notes. Wonder what Dad would think of a comic book version of RIII? No, no, I could never do that, but damn that would be funny. Visions of Monty Python run through my head.

My only real irritation right now is the potential for a gaggle of women to show up on the fringes of the set. Please God don’t let that happen. I already have too many friends trying to take the mickey out of me about that, and it’s hard to be taken seriously when a bunch of middle-aged women indulging their fantasies are standing around. And I just want to work without having to be cordial. But I will be polite if need be because it’s my middle name. I’ve certainly had that beat into my head. As it is the hair on the back of my neck was on end at one point when I was standing in the street getting instructions about my shoot tomorrow. Thankfully, I saw no women and only a couple of guys taking video from their cameras. I almost hate video cameras.

[click to enlarge]

The next evening:

One of those guys put video on YouTube, and there I am in the middle of it. I tried to make myself smaller when I caught them in my peripheral vision, but I’ve never been able to scrunch down enough to hide. What was I thinking? And I felt like I was 16 again and couldn’t decide between embracing my size and wanting to be invisible. Even if I could have made myself shorter, I guess my arse is recognizable and some make a study of it. There is that one blogger who goes on about my thighs, which I guess are part of my arse, and yeah, when I wore black leather there were a lot of flattering comments. Maybe it’s not so bad, and I didn’t really mind my prison scene or my boiler suit scene. That did make me feel good for a while, and of course there was my scene with Julie. But those were my naked arse and not my covered arse. Shit! Why did I have to wear that stupid jacket? I need some long coats and a few more hats.

Sorry but I had to get inside Richard’s head again. It helps me stay in touch with my X chromosomes.

For some who have no sense of humor or who are action fans, YES, this is a fake entry.


At no time in the writing of this entry did I imagine I was really speaking for Richard Armitage nor did I deceive myself into thinking I really know his thoughts. Therefore, there is no need to involve his agent or publicist in what is supposed to be humorous. Of course I realize tone on the net is not always properly conveyed, and hey, I’m not a writer (I just have lots of crap I want to say), so I’m not taking the chance of being misconstrued.

Have a nice day. :D

Note: I’m blaming my lack of inhibition about posting this on my cold medicine and having just read James Franco’s Actor’s Anonymous. ;p

Photo courtesy of Hobbsy and his video from whence the photo was taken, if you’re interested. :D