A Rabid Fan?

I didn’t capitalize the A in rabid, but I’m sure some of you already saw it as a capital, or it jarred you that it wasn’t. No, this isn’t a piece about the grammatical odyssey of being a Richard Armitage fan. But I am going to talk about something that hits me from time to time like a little slap in the face.

Being intensely curious about every cussed thing, it was only natural that I started reading the New Zealand newspapers, and I feel certain I will read them long after RA has departed from the Kiwis. In the meantime, I am affected strongly when I read there has been a plane crash near Auckland. My immediate response, “Oh no, I hope it wasn’t Richard, or anyone associated with the movie!” That isn’t me. Normally I would feel for the people involved, probably say an earnest prayer for their loved ones, and then move on. But the visceral response startled me, and the few times it’s happened have bugged me. I make a lot of jokes about being up the CWS, but an almost knee jerk reaction like this bothers me a little.

I guess the point of this post is personal therapy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not super worried about my behavior. If I were, I probably would never admit this. But I am curious enough about it to examine myself and publicly.

It could just be that I’ve been surrounded by so much death the last several years that I’ve become jumpy. And my encounters with it just never seem to stop. A few days ago I found out a good friend of mine has about a month to live. I went to see her yesterday, and thankfully, it was a wonderful visit. She is off of all of her treatments and is only on a little bit of morphine. Her alertness was a bit stunning, and she and I and SO had a great chat. When we stood up to leave her, he did something he never does. He said to her, “Can I give you a kiss?” and then he bent down and hugged her a bit and kissed her temple.

On the way out, I said, “I have never seen you do that before. What prompted you?”

“She’s the kind of person who can receive a kiss like that — a gesture of love from a friend. Besides, you know I’ve always been a big fan of hers.”

Yeah, I knew that. I’ve been a fan too, and I’m going to miss her terribly. I also feel for the loved ones of whomever died in that plane crash. It hurts to lose someone you care about.

7 Comments

  1. Never easy to say goodbye to the people we love. *big hug* to you and your friend.

  2. I hope your friend has a peaceful departure and I will pray for you both.

  3. It is hard to be by the side of one who is dying. You had courage and love to be there. Your friend would have felt that. It can only have been comfort to her.

  4. It so sucks to loose someone.
    I like what your SO said, ” a person who can receive a gesture like that….” Not everyone can offer or receive a gesture like that in the most difficult of times. Sounds like you have all had the courage to be present and witness each other’s lives. I pray that sustains you.

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. It is always hard to part with those we care about. How wonderful that you were able to have such a great time visiting. Those memories will stick with you. Praying for your friend, that this last little bit of time will be peaceful and filled with friends and loved ones.

  6. Thank you all for the words of comfort, and I appreciate the prayers as well. My friend is at peace with her situation, and that ministered to SO and I probably more than we ministered to her.

  7. It’s probably because RA is someone we feel close to, in a way, or can relate to. If a hundred people die in a plane crash, you can’t really deal with it properly, it’s too much to take in. If there’s ONE person you’re vaguely familiar with, it hits home. Strange.

    Really sorry to hear about your friend, Frenz. May her final days be full of sunshine and beauty. xx


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