It’s Like This…

I understand a lot is going on with respect to Richard Armitage. Fantastic! It’s wonderful to witness this even if everything hasn’t gone down the way some of us thought it would or have even liked at times. I’m just glad for him, because well, I have spent four years (really more than that) talking about the man and his career. I do have some sort of weird investment in him. CWS out of whack? Maybe, but I don’t care. I just hope he outdoes his expectations of himself. Go, Richard!

As for me, I am outdoing my expectations. Then again, maybe not. I’ve run more than one business, and this is usually what happens — you go out and market and market and market, and things may trickle in for a while, and then there’s a flood. I have never run a business nor been up close and personal to other businesses where this did not happen. Things usually never come in a steady stream. Anyway, I’m up to my eyeballs in work, and if you knew the medical bills the Frenz household is staring down and very possibly future insurance bills, you would know why I’ve got to do this.

The good news is I am having a blast! I’ve said this before, but I can’t stop saying it because I keep falling into clover, as it were. I went to a political gathering a few weeks ago, because a friend of mine is running for office and asked me to help. I did have to think for months and months about helping, because I actually hate politics. But I finally decided to help, hence my presence at a political gathering. While I was at this meeting, someone started talking about my area of expertise and how they needed to hire someone. Then another person chimed in with his needs and another and another and before I left that place, I was loaded up with clients and potential clients. Wow. Wow. Wow.

And get this. I was sick as a dog when I got to this meeting and had to leave early because I was literally swaying on my feet. I made what should have been a four hour drive home in almost seven hours. Doesn’t matter! It was worth it.

I’m just thankful I was ready, and these people were too ’cause they not only want my services but have the money to pay for them. LOL! Yes, I just laughed, and I have a big grin on my face too. Do you know how good it feels to work your tail off and it finally starts paying off?! It’s wonderful.

I feel as if this is happening to Richard Armitage as well. He has worked his backside off. We have seen that over and over with the effort he puts into his characters and heard confirmation of it from the glowing reports his colleagues always give of him. It’s almost as if at times there is a kind of awe of him as a human being. Even Martin Freeman who is a quintessential smartass and who rarely gets serious about anything, got serious about Richard and praised him as a fine human being. Then there are the fans’ reactions to him and I include my own with the consensus being that he is class itself.

And now he seems to be grinning a lot these days, which makes me think he is feeling pretty good and with good reason. Yes, I’ve mentioned this smiling before as well. I can’t stop talking about it because he seems continually unabashed in his pleasure in the last year. Or maybe it’s just me who sees it that way ’cause I’m feeling pretty good myself — and that includes my getting pneumonia. So what! Things are moving forward, and I don’t have time to moan about what hasn’t gone right. In keeping with a high ranking on the CWS, certainly, Richard feels the same. ;-)

Yeah, Rich, I know just how you feel. It’s hard to stop smiling even when you may be tired.

Richard Armitage at wondercon

I adore this photo. There is no telling how many times I may use it. I may even use it as a screensaver. Something I have never done with a Richard Armitage photo. Yep, that’s right. I’ve never done it. His beauty has always been contained within my computer or phone. (Sorry, Rich). But I may have to breakdown and use this photo and damn the ribbing I’ll receive.

A Rabid Fan?

I didn’t capitalize the A in rabid, but I’m sure some of you already saw it as a capital, or it jarred you that it wasn’t. No, this isn’t a piece about the grammatical odyssey of being a Richard Armitage fan. But I am going to talk about something that hits me from time to time like a little slap in the face.

Being intensely curious about every cussed thing, it was only natural that I started reading the New Zealand newspapers, and I feel certain I will read them long after RA has departed from the Kiwis. In the meantime, I am affected strongly when I read there has been a plane crash near Auckland. My immediate response, “Oh no, I hope it wasn’t Richard, or anyone associated with the movie!” That isn’t me. Normally I would feel for the people involved, probably say an earnest prayer for their loved ones, and then move on. But the visceral response startled me, and the few times it’s happened have bugged me. I make a lot of jokes about being up the CWS, but an almost knee jerk reaction like this bothers me a little.

I guess the point of this post is personal therapy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not super worried about my behavior. If I were, I probably would never admit this. But I am curious enough about it to examine myself and publicly.

It could just be that I’ve been surrounded by so much death the last several years that I’ve become jumpy. And my encounters with it just never seem to stop. A few days ago I found out a good friend of mine has about a month to live. I went to see her yesterday, and thankfully, it was a wonderful visit. She is off of all of her treatments and is only on a little bit of morphine. Her alertness was a bit stunning, and she and I and SO had a great chat. When we stood up to leave her, he did something he never does. He said to her, “Can I give you a kiss?” and then he bent down and hugged her a bit and kissed her temple.

On the way out, I said, “I have never seen you do that before. What prompted you?”

“She’s the kind of person who can receive a kiss like that — a gesture of love from a friend. Besides, you know I’ve always been a big fan of hers.”

Yeah, I knew that. I’ve been a fan too, and I’m going to miss her terribly. I also feel for the loved ones of whomever died in that plane crash. It hurts to lose someone you care about.

The Next Post

Didn’t I say this was the upcoming post? Yes, I’m feeling a bit cheesy, which is good for this blog. It’s when I don’t feel cheesy that I can’t really get into it.

So where was I? Oh yeah, I wanted to talk about Lucas North. No, it doesn’t matter that you’ve put that unpleasantness behind you, I haven’t. For about a year now I’ve been crafting posts to deal with my “issues” with Spooks. The problem is that more than half of them are rants, but bear with me as I decide which ones to inflict on you and give Lucas his due. I owe that to Richard Armitage and his wonderful ability to develop a character.

In the meantime, a little teaser from the Spooks 7 set:

For those who have been following this blog for quite a while, this isn’t a new one, but I had to post it again for someone, somewhere who is an Armitage lover and might have missed it the first time ’round. This picture about takes my head off. Seriously, I think I would swoon if I saw someone that good looking standing in front of me. If you don’t feel the effect, click on it to zoom in, and click again to really zoom in. Go ahead; you’ll be glad you did. :D

Okay, onto a new teaser for the rest of you:

How interesting to observe him at work and that closely. If I’m being honest, and I like to think I’m very honest, I would love that. It would be much more rewarding than having him sign an autograph for me that I would merely place in a box somewhere and probably never look at again. But these pictures? These are fascinating. And do I have to make the disclaimer that I would not post anything that was in a private setting? Apparently I feel compelled hence the question. :D Obviously, these aren’t private, and I appreciate Richard Armitage allowing himself to be photographed at work. He could have precluded that, but he didn’t. I know it might even have been irritating since he is a hyper-sensitive person. As a graduate of the Institute for Advanced Armitage Studies, I believe I’m qualified to make that assessment of him, and it’s immaterial if this is a manifestation of CW. It feels good. :D

Off to figure out how to get closure on Lucas.

Behind the scenes photos of Spooks 7 courtesy of Kuchinggirl. More of her lovely work coming up.

P.S. My boy got All-American. Sorry, I couldn’t help but sneak that in since I’m so proud of him!!

Going For It

Many times I’ve wondered how long this blog’s life would be, and no, I’m not going anywhere. I’m still here and will be here for a while longer. How long I don’t know. As long as I get some fulfillment and fun from it I suppose. But candidly sometimes that fun is hard work. Of course life is full of obstacles, and usually the obstacles involve people or money. Come to think of it they all involve people or money. Now I’m not here to talk about money, and I doubt anyone has ever read my blog expecting me to talk about money. Although truth be told, I could talk about money for quite a while. But I’ll spare you. Today. So people it is.

People are infinitely fascinating even when they’re being a pain in the ass. At least that’s how I choose to see it, and if I didn’t choose to see it that way, I would not have done this blog past a few weeks. I also knew choosing the subject of Richard Armitage for my blog would bring with it an element that is absurd (no offense to Richard), and in case it’s not obvious to some, I’ve used that absurdity to spring myself forward. But sometimes I can’t find the humor in some of these people who are mean. I try never to cave to thoughts like this here (diary entries excepted), but I’ve slipped up a couple of times and day before yesterday was one of those times. I immediately regretted making that post, but after I had a little time to ruminate on it, I decided that it really was something that should have been broached.

On to the point of this piece. Yep, that was all a preface. I’m partial to prefaces lately. :D

If you’re going to blog, you cannot let people get to you — especially if they’re trying to get to you. If they get to you, then they have defeated you. They’ve stopped you. I was reading one well-intentioned commenter’s suggestion about Servetus’ handling of those who object to her blog. It was suggested to use password protection so that only those who really want to read the blog can do so. The commenter did not intend it to be censorship and said as much as a preface to the comment, but really, that’s what it is, and I mean absolutely no aspersion on the one who made the suggestion. It’s just that it’s hard to see it as anything else, and ironically, it would still not serve the purpose of making those who are offended happy as some would probably still read the blog. LOL!

So what’s the answer to all of this — at least in my opinion? It’s two-fold. First, go ahead fearlessly. Go for it, and don’t let someone inhibit you, and believe me, there will be those who will try. It’s a given. Second (and really this should be first), use some wisdom in lieu of locking things down. If you believe you shouldn’t post something, ask yourself why you don’t want to post it, and if someone is manipulating you into not posting, that’s almost never a good reason. Of course if it’s something that you have concluded is not appropriate, don’t post, but know that sometimes you might make a mistake. Scratch that. You will make a mistake, and if you don’t want to ever make a mistake, then don’t blog. In fact, don’t write anything, anywhere or say anything to anyone because at some point you’re going to make a mistake. [note: Mulubinba is excluded from this comment ’cause her decision is not about being manipulated, and I certainly respect it.]

In the meantime, I’m enjoying this song below, and I don’t care that it’s Katy Perry singing. If I was all caught up in who she supposedly is, I would dismiss this song. Her name alone would have the power to preclude me from ever listening to her or considering her music whenever I happen to hear it. Thankfully, I don’t think that way about music, so when I heard this, I liked it. :D

Where’s the Bunny?

September 10, 2010

It’s been almost two years since I first read the blog piece about good fans going bad and the referenced Wikipedia page about CWS (Celebrity Worship Syndrome). My cursory reading of the wiki page left me thinking there were huge gaps in the scale; I certainly knew I didn’t quite fit the descriptions. I was so disturbed by my own behavior, I didn’t want to pursue any further information about CWS. Nevertheless, when I was getting ready to start this blog, I reviewed the page, and it seems that others have taken exception to the scale. I’ve been hesitant to highlight this because it might be the ultimate rationalization for fleeing treatment of Richard Armitage addiction, but when did that ever stop me? Plus, my public service gene demands that I bring it to your attention. ;-) That way you will be prepared if someone slaps you with this.

Earlier this year someone updated that wiki page to add a section called “Critical reflection on celebrity worship and mental health.” God Bless ‘Em. (Or maybe I was so addled I missed it the first time around?) It seems the methods of research for this “syndrome” may not have been scientifically applied and the researchers biased. If I were not so busy, I might read more, but maybe someone who is inclined will take it up. All I know is that I got a little antsy when I read that one of the CWS researchers is from the University of Leicester. Uh oh. Could that be one of RA’s relatives who is exasperated with all of us? Or is he someone on the town council who’s sick of hearing that maps of H___________ need to be printed after every tour bus of Radio 4 listeners comes through, or perhaps he read about the building permit needed for the 12 foot fence around the Armitage’s backyard. I don’t know. I don’t know. But then I wondered if this professor heard about the chocolate pants. That would make me wonder about someone’s sanity, and I fleetingly wondered if I might become so far gone I would send RA some chocolate pants. Oh, hell no! Well, not if I were in my right mind. Then I realized I could devise my own scale and make it sound scientific. I did have a thing for Fred Demara. Not quite sure he was my soul mate (but maybe), so I’m certain I can figure out something that sounds scientific.

In the great tradition of the Web playing doctor, I’ve devised a scale and below it is a poll for you to assure yourself honestly assess your situation:

Entertainment-social

This comprises attitudes of fans who gain great pleasure from laughing about chocolate pants sent to a celebrity when they’re not nauseous at the thought. Sometimes they even get sick laughing as they imagine the expression on the celebrity’s face when he receives the chocolate pants. But these fans have no desire to ever send the celebrity (or anyone else) some chocolate pants as actually doing that is sickening to them and they don’t know where in hell anyone would buy them anyway. Well, maybe they wouldn’t send their own chocolate pants if they ever did know where to buy them, but maybe send them as someone else’s just to see what happens, er, rather to embrace the humor of the perceived reaction of the celebrity upon receipt of the chocolate pants as long as they are sent through the post and not by using them as a missile during an interview of the celebrity, which would require being somewhere nearby and possibly being caught out as a nut.

Intense-personal

Intense-personal aspect of celebrity worship reflects intensive and compulsive feelings about sending chocolate pants to the celebrity, akin to the obsessional tendencies of fans often referred to in literature; for example “I share with my favorite celebrity a need to touch chocolate pants — a feeling that cannot be described in words” and “When something bad happens, I know my favorite celebrity would be refreshed by seeing some chocolate pants from me.”

Borderline-pathological

This dimension is typified by uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies regarding how the chocolate pants will be presented to their celebrities, such as “I have frequent thoughts about wearing chocolate pants while standing in front of my favorite celebrity, even when I don’t want to” and “my favorite celebrity would immediately come to my rescue if something were to happen to my chocolate pants.”

Disclaimer for idiots who think this is serious: NO, nothing I’ve said about anyone in Leicester or the Armitage family is real. Well, except that one of the CWS researchers really is a professor from the University of Leicester — according to Wikipedia.

I ran across this in my uh research for this post: Inkblot Test. If you have some time, take the test. Trust me you’ll like it. And many thanks to the creators of it for the title of this piece. [Note: the title of this piece was taken from this “test”]

edit:

I HATE it when I make a horrible typo or when I realize I made a horrible typo. Will I ever get over that? LOL!

Diary of an RA Fan — Part 21 Now I’ve Done It

See Diary Part 20 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — And Still Fall, 2008:

I’m not sure I can read any more of the Armitage Army forum. There are some lovely people there, but I’m scaring myself, and then I discover this! Just the title alone has made me really stop and think about what I’m doing. But haven’t I been doing that all along the way? Haven’t I gut checked myself so much that I’ve worn myself out with it? It seems I’m so tightly bound with circumspection that I’m a small package which bores me silly. And now it seems I can’t even have a little fetish that doesn’t make me stereotypical and potentially a nut case. CWS? What the hell? I guess the first stage isn’t so bad, and that’s certainly where I fit, but just knowing there is a scale creeps me out.

A few days later:

I feel so dumb most of the time when I’m reading all of these web pages about Richard Armitage, and now I’ve made a few posts on the Army site which have sort of wearied me. All I know at this moment is that I’m tired of typing the words Richard Armitage. It feels funny to type his name. It hits me sometimes when I get to his last name that I’m almost incessantly discussing someone I do not know and never will. But somehow it feels like I know him. NOOOOO! That sounds like something further up the CW Scale. I will bust a gut before moving up that scale or even looking like I have. I don’t even want to type anything less formal than Richard Armitage. Maybe I should make that Mr. Armitage. No, that just sounds uh, I don’t know what it sounds like. A bit of the lady doth protest too much? Yeah, that would almost be like banging a gong and saying, “I’ve got a problem and need to keep my distance!”

Anything less than his full name just seems too personal. But isn’t pondering whether it’s personal kind of creepy as well? Why do I care if I’m too personal? Hell, I don’t know. I just know I’m a bit creeped out at myself, but I can’t seem to stop watching his stuff. I really do think he’s a great actor the likes of which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen. But I feel like a fool being on a fan site. It really bothers me. Mostly because it jacks with the image I have of myself. Hang what anyone else may think. The identity I embrace does not include being a fan. It’s just not me. So why the hell am I doing this, and why am I writing journal entries about it?

But the other fans are interesting, and I’m finding new sources for watching Richard Armitage’s performances. Maybe I’ll stay.

A few more days later:

I mentioned that I was curious about ‘Between the Sheets,’ and someone at the Army forum sent me a zip file of it. So I’ll get to watch it without having to order it. What am I saying?! No, if I watch it for free now, I’ll have to buy it, and I’m not sure I want to buy this. And I still hate the name of that show. No imagination. If I can submerge my conscience long enough, I’ll start watching sometime soon. What am I thinking? Besides, I’m doing a stutter step at what I’ve read on the Army site. It seems the watchword for ‘Between the Sheets’ is peaches. Whatever the hell that means. I didn’t delve any further. I don’t want to feel any dumber than I already do.

See Diary Part 22 here.