I Gave Myself a Christmas Present

Harry Kennedy smiling

I’m sorry I’ve been a downer to some of you lately. It is a problem from time to time when my sane self wants to have a go at a blog piece. But I’m happy to report I am sufficiently demented today such that my tongue is so far in my cheek, I’m not sure it will ever come out. It being lodged in there has facilitated this post.

But before I begin, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are still having a wonderful time. May that be the case all year round and without having to spend inordinate amounts of money. Since I’ve already waxed on about spending money at Christmas (also written as my sane self), I’ll refrain this time around. So yeah, this post is hopefully about something other than spending money on myself, which I did last week when I spent $118 at an Aveda salon.

Shame on me for admitting that. It’s crass to talk money like that, but I did spend $118 to get my hair done and get some product. For those of you who have been to an Aveda salon, had the treatment and bought some product, you know I got off cheap. And it’s really astounding I had the privilege when I consider I just did a walk-in on them. They don’t take walk-ins, but I walked in and announced I was getting my hair cut somewhere that day, and if they could work me in, great, and if not, that was fine too. They were cutting my hair 20 minutes later, and it felt good, ’cause they usually massage your head while they’re at it, and they’re into aromatherapy, so the massage not only feels good but smells good. It always makes me want to go to sleep and dream. In fact, I had a hard time staying awake, and afterward, in my groggy state, as I stumbled to the cashier, I felt they were doing me a favor to take my $118.

But that’s not what I want to talk about.

When I was first reading this year’s Christmas message from Richard Armitage, I was reading as I usually do, meaning my sane and somewhat cynical self reads those messages. That’s not to say I read them with an eye toward criticizing our object, but rather that I always read them with the understanding they are goodwill gestures from Richard Armitage, who is polite enough to still give a nod, if not a dance, to the ones he sees as partially bringing him. I appreciate that, but I never take those things personally. Until this year when for half a second, I felt he was actually talking to me.

See I told you my insane self was back. That I’m admitting this has to be about the most crazy thing I’ve done on this blog. (Can you say tin hat? Sure you can. :D) My sane self immediately admonished me, and the self-flagellation continued as I got notes from some of you telling me the same thing — that Richard was talking to me! Me!

Sane self continued to hold out and Christmas came, and yes, it was good; no media or barely any for over a day. The family and I had a wonderful time together. But yesterday morning, I asked myself what it would be like to believe after the rough year I’ve had and SO too, mainly SO, that Richard Armitage would encourage me specifically. That’s when I decided to let myself think it for a day. So yesterday morning I received the encouragement as a personal gift. May I say it felt good. The ultimate in a head massage, and yes the smell of it was wonderful.

It gave me the chance to relive something that I think was intended as sweet and is sweet, and well written too, since I think half the fandom felt like I did and thought he was talking to them personally. LOL!

Dear Richard,

Thanks again for your comforting words. They were a bit of a balm — when I let myself fully receive them without any qualms that it’s insane to see it as personal. I accepted your encouragement as from another human being. Maybe not someone I know, but someone who seems to be sweethearted, and I really do appreciate that about you. Does it mean you can never be harsh or irritated about something? No, I’d say that makes you human. And that’s okay.

And even though I’ve couched this message in some fun, and I’m putting the fake fan letter tag on this post, I mean this sincerely. Thank you.

Signed,
Stuart Smalley A crazy fan who hopefully will have a better 2014 than 2013, and I fully expect to see heaven.

P.S. Oh, and if I ever do make it back to a fan event, I want you to know you will be able to spot me easily as I’ll be wearing this:
il_570xN.171626514

Catch you later.

Will someone please, please buy me that hat?! Found here.

December 27, 2013
Categories: Fandom . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: Comments Off on I Gave Myself a Christmas Present

Is It Possible Not to Fantasize Sexually About Richard Armitage?

Perhaps I am misreading, but I often get the feeling there is this belief that people who do not have sexual fantasies of Richard Armitage are somehow unhealthy or dishonest since everyone must have sexual fantasies of him. I’ve stated several times that I do not have sexual fantasies of him. Sometimes that’s met with good natured scoffing and sometimes it’s met with outright disbelief. Seldom is it met with agreement — unless in email. It seems to me (which means I could be wrong) that there is little public agreement with me because people do not want to be judged as sexually repressed. I’m sorry that dynamic has occurred, i.e., that people are muted by a fear of being labeled. So I come with this post to hopefully alter the dynamics such that someone can share freely about whatever they think on this topic.

Here’s why I don’t have sexual fantasies about Richard Armitage. I choose not to have them. From early childhood I’ve had a very active and vivid imagination. My family and close friends have often remarked on it. There is also a person with whom I am sexually connected. I adore him as my love and the father of my four children, and remain faithful to him not only physically but in the most important of places — my mind. If I were to let myself have a sexual fantasy of someone other than him, it would be an unhealthy distraction for me because I think I would become attached to someone who was featured in my sexual fantasies. This is one reason I tamped down my imagination for so many years. I knew its power to enslave me. Thankfully, I’ve been coming to a place where I could tap into its wonders without it submerging most everything of value to me. For that I give God credit.

So what am I about here? Besides liking to joke around, I am fascinated with the human condition which includes Richard Armitage’s portrayals of such, my own reactions to that and the reactions of others.

Okay, I have now shared what I think and hope the balance of my blog pieces have made it clear someone does not have to agree with my thinking on this to have a conversation. None of us are exactly alike, and I appreciate that.

April 3, 2012
Categories: Fandom, SO . Tags: , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 55 Comments

Are You a Fangirl?

February 25, 2012

Stand up and be counted!

We are in cyber world where you can have this kind of fun without repercussion, i.e., family and friends taking the Mickey out of you. So don’t let your inflated opinion of who you’re supposed to be keep you from having fun with this. As for me, I’m having a blast. My only qualm is that I may get so free that I say something to offend the uh, object of my affection.

Oh, you don’t know him? Well, neither do I, but I like to pretend I do. It makes for all sorts of fun. I write him fake fan letters and post pictures of him when no way I would really write him a letter from my real self or put up a picture outside this blog. I must maintain my cool image. ;-) It would be blown to hell if I actually had a picture. Listen, the DVD collection is already pushing it. And I suspect there are many of you like me but you’re too afraid to admit it — even here. But you’re wrong to be fearful. Go ahead and try it! Nothing is going to fall on you. Not sure about that? Well, I’ve been blogging for almost two years and commenting in cyber world more than twice as long, and I’m still here.

And guess what? I’m sane and married to a sane person, and I have four sane kids, who have excellent character and make excellent grades in school (I had to get that in about the kids since that is what I’m most proud of). I also have a job that requires me to be very responsible. But most important for you to know is that I do sometimes step away from my laptop and go outside and smell the fresh air and people come to my house and I go to theirs and we visit and eat dinner together, and oh, I do all sorts of things that are so ridiculously normal it would bore you to hear all of them.

So why this outlet? I asked myself that question for a long time, and sometimes I still have a moment of circumspection that could generate fear. But I no longer ask it because I think I have the answer, and I’m writing about my journey to it in my Diary, which sometimes gets a little depressing, but I promise the end of the story turns out well! Yes, there is an endpoint. I had it as a target when I first started the blog and really thought I would reach it by my first anniversary. You see how that turned out. I make no promises about my second anniversary, but I’m determined to finish and hope that you or someone will benefit. I know I am.

So my object:

Isn’t he cute?


Has a good sense of humor too.


And a good listener.


I mean he really listens.


And sometimes it hits him what’s happened.


“Yeah, man, there’s these women, fangirls they’re called…”


“…and one sent me this thing… well, it was…”


“…maybe I shouldn’t describe it. All I know is it was good for me. So yeah, I have some fantasies.”


“That’s right. I have some fantasies too even though I would never date any of you.”


“Oh yeah, man, I’m careful.”

I love that interview, and for those who have never seen the real thing, go here.

Screencaps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

edit: and a slideshow of this group of photos on RichardArmitageNet.

February 25, 2012
Categories: Fandom, Interviews . Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 44 Comments

Meeting Richard

Tammi, my close friend whom I’ve talked about on blog here and here (with her permission, and yes, that’s her real name although I gave her the option of a fake name, and she said run with the original. phew), has said to me several times recently, “Wouldn’t it be great if you met Richard Armitage?!” My feeling about it is, no, it probably wouldn’t. This occurred to me when Heather was sharing her experience. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad for Heather; it felt like my child making good on something. How wonderful for her to realize a dream of five years! But my dream is far different.

I would want a chat with him that would last at least a few weeks non-stop. But my real fantasy (yes, I’m admitting to a fantasy about Richard Armitage) is him sitting in my den discussing various subjects with SO and with me as spectator. Two interesting men having wonderful discussions about topics that fascinate me? Umm, I might get lightheaded if I think about it for long. RA is so intriguing, but honestly, after knowing SO for more than two decades, he’s still an enigma to me, and what I really love about him (among many other things) is his ability to bring out the interesting in others. Can you imagine RA being more interesting? It could happen if he were to sit with SO, who could get at what RA thinks and what he likes, and I would marvel at what RA would willingly reveal in the discussion, and I don’t mean any sordid details but rather something probably to do with his view of the world and what he would love to see and how he thinks art reflects that or should and thinking more outside the box than even he is accustomed to doing. I’m always amazed at how SO can evoke this from others, and they love him for it. Maybe because they usually feel hopeful after a discussion with him.


And since my den and kitchen sort of make up one giant room, I would get to cook all the foods I think RA would love and I know SO loves while I listen to them plumbing the mysteries of the universe and creating new ones. Some chicken flautas with sour cream and guacamole, rice and beans and definitely some hand made flour tortillas cooked on my cast iron griddle to complement. Grilled shrimp, asparagus on the side and some homemade yeast rolls. Smothered steak with mashed potatoes and steamed, whole green beans with a little butter and garlic, and maybe some bread pudding with brandy (recipe from the Southern Living cookbook). Yeah, I can see myself cooking away while savoring their conversation. This would be heaven. And now that Tammi is coming along nicely as an RA Addict, I might invite her to help me cook. :D

Maybe when the discussion lulls, we could take RA to our local ski “hill” and let him schuss and slalom with some of the world class athletes who frequent the slopes around here. We might even get him to take on the ski jump — at night when it really gets fun.

But an actual meeting with him wouldn’t be like Heather’s where she had something to discuss with him. Mine would consist of manifesting a gibbering idiot while trying to get out the terribly original, “Oh, I love your work.” Nope, that wouldn’t be satisfying at all, and frankly, I would feel like a ditz while it was happening and later. Yes, I’m proud, and if I’m going to even think about meeting RA, it’s going to be one heck of a fantasy.

However, if I ever get anywhere near him in the flesh, I’ll just settle for ogling him from a distance close enough to assess the condition of his skin. :D

Promotional still courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

February 11, 2012
Categories: SO . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 24 Comments

What Would You Do If You Were Checked Out by Richard Armitage?

I think that title just about says it all. Of course most of us can only dream about that, but maybe someone has had the experience.


Check it out on Tumblr (January 14th entry)

It would be a total hoot if she could share some details with us, or maybe she’s just daydreaming. Umm, that’s my kind of daydream although I must admit I’ve never had a daydream nor a dream about RA. But I do love hearing about others’. :D

Thoughts?

Jaded self rearing its ugly head: What a great way to get a blog piece kicked up. Wonder how many hits his name has generated. I know I’ve probably clicked on it at least 6 or 7 times. LOL! Oh hell, I don’t care if it’s real or not. I’m enjoying the thought.

edit: bummer. Beth no longer has her site, and it was good too.

January 22, 2011
Categories: Fandom, Rumors . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 131 Comments