The Reality of Richard Armitage Rephrased

Esquire-Dec2013-3Despite how my post of the other day sounded, I believe Richard Armitage is an introvert, and in my opinion, most rabid fans are introverts as well. We love his ability to use his solitude to create these characters who touch us so deeply, and who make many of us get alone with ourselves and ask ourselves questions about why we may or may not do certain things in our lives. For me it was the creative urge which I had squelched for a long time.

But sadly there is confusion about the definition of introvert, and the Internet doesn’t help. Here’s what you get when you Google the word:

GoogleDefinitionofIntrovert

This one little slice of data has the ability to create so many misunderstandings and should be a lesson that when the Internet is wrong, it can be really wrong.

So what is an introvert?

A good definition and a little history of personality theories can be found here.

Obviously the most significant misconception is that introverts are shy. I am an introvert, and I’m married to an introvert, yet it’s been a long time since anyone accused us of being shy. SO and I are often in social settings due to his profession. and when we’re in that setting, we can almost look like the quintessential extraverts because we aren’t shy. However, we both desperately need alone time. and this can often be mistaken for selfishness. Whatever someone wants to think, I cannot always be in the presence of people or even mostly in the presence of people and neither can SO. Some of our closest friends have shaken their heads at how we are about getting alone, which means not only removing ourselves from the stimulation of other people but sometimes from each other. This allows each of us to process life. I call it stepping out of the fray. Frankly, if we had not both been introverts, I don’t think our marriage would have survived.

Given all of that, how am I surmising Richard Armitage is an introvert? He’s told us he is. Maybe he hasn’t said those words (or maybe he has and I missed it), but he’s made it plain that he spends copious amounts of time reading and more important, processing. Then there are his latent writer tendencies with the back stories for his characters. Add to that his own admission of sequestering himself at times from his cast mates. He’s also said he hates things like the red capret, and yet when you meet him one-on-one, he’s very at ease and charming. Introverts can much more easily handle an intimate meeting than a big crowd, which means it’s better to meet him one-on-one. I’ve observed him both ways and much prefer the latter. I’m not sure that can be said for most actors. Once the mask is off and no words are written for them, it seems most are a little dull.

It should be noted that someone’s degree of introversion is on a continuum, so that we’re not all the same.

For further information and a celebration of introverts, a great Ted Talk from Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

note: when I was younger and aggressively trying to make a mark in my profession, I was given the Myers-Briggs test. Actually, it was administered twice over the course of my tenure with a particular company, and I was an ENTJ both times. Years later I took the test again and was an INTJ, which I believe is closer to my true personality.

edit: I was actually an ENTJ and then an ENTP years ago. I think I knew at the time that I needed to be an extravert to get ahead where I was working, but I was NEVER comfortable with that. And yes, I’m curious about what personality Richard Armitage may be. I can speculate, but obviously I can’t fully know.

note: if you like the photo above of Richard Armitage, then buy the individual issue of Esquire UK that has the original, or better yet, subscribe to the magazine.

A Very Good Problem

For those who haven’t figured it out yet, I didn’t attend the fan event in New York. I was very tempted and especially when Julie (Library Girl) who runs RichardArmitageCentral graciously gave me a ticket. Thank you for that very generous gift! You will never know how much it meant to me for you to do that! But when I reviewed my situation, and all that is going on here, I simply could not get loose to go.

For those wondering, it has nothing to do with SO. He’s doing well. I say he is well; of course it should be said more accurately that he is well for his situation, but we are always on alert as we never know what’s going to happen with him. For now, this week, things are good.

All of SO’s issues aside, I’m in the middle of running a business, and it’s going well enough that I could not take a break to do some fangirling. In fact, on Monday I had a key meeting with a potential client that I had been trying to get for a long time. And if I can get my foot in the door with this person, it could lead to some substantial work with others. As much as I like Richard Armitage and love all of you, I could not justify passing that up in hope the person would meet me at a later date. Now if I’d had bad ass Thorin helping me out, maybe I could have pulled it off!

Bad Ass Thorin

But never fear that my ticket went to waste! Library Girl graciously met Armitage Besotted instead, and I understand they had a grand ole time. Report coming up next.

Promotional poster shot snaffled from CrystalChandlyre’s tumblr

The Real Guy?

I certainly enjoy this look of Richard Armitage. What fans wouldn’t enjoy seeing this?

Richard Armitage the Russian
but I love him best like this:

"Yeah, I'm listening." Small smile and then thinking, "Damn how long is this going to take?"

“Yeah, I’m listening.” Small smile and then thinking, “Damn how long is this going to take?”

This screams guy. Screams it more than the top photo, which is a woman’s version of a guy. :D

At the end of the day, Richard Armitage is a guy, and I love that. I was thinking about all of the men I know, who incidentally most are guys, and it occurred to me that not one of them would enjoy this. Of course they would be respectful but itching to get out of there! Even SO, who is a bit of a modern man, would hate this. He would probably find the process intriguing to watch, but to sit through it himself? No way in hell.

This juxtaposition of guy (alpha) and sensitive man (beta) is what makes Richard Armitage fascinating. Men who have a good balance of these are the most fascinating. Too much of one of these is boring (I think but I’m not sure that I’ve said this before. Wait. Yeah, here a long time ago. Like three years ago. Sheesh.) SO, my dad, SO’s dad and many other men I admire and respect have this balance. They are sensitive, kind and gentlemanly, love good art and music and books, but there’s no doubt they are (or were, in the case of my father who’s passed away) guys who draw the line at looking forward to something like this above. Nope, not happenin’.

Richard,

I feel your pain in this last photo. Not that you would care, but the godawful jacket and pants were enough to make me pained. No, no, I didn’t really say that. You just imagined it. You look good in anything.

Okay, seriousness, sort of. I could be so wrong about you, and I do believe pictures don’t always convey the truth, but my gut is telling me that you just endure this stuff. I’ve thought that for a long time. Maybe I need to think that ’cause if you really liked this fou fou stuff, then well, you aren’t my kind of guy. :D

Take care and may you not see a photoshoot for a good long while. Probably not going to happen, but I can wish it anyway,
One of your crazy fans

And Dad Eats Free Too

Last night I was staying at the Hilton and got a complimentary digital copy of USA Today. Very timely since Mother’s Day is almost here!

hootersmothers

SO leaned over my shoulder and offered with a grin, “I had something else in mind for Mother’s Day, but this looks good.”

Okay, I was just kidding about dad eating for free.

The real kicker is no woman eats free unless she has a kid in tow. Yes, she can leave dad at home. :D

George Soros and I Are Still Alive — Really

I’m getting this post out of the way before I start eating the elephant (Richard Armitage’s whirlwind in Australia).

My recent absence certainly obliterated any good intentions for keeping up, and absolutely shot my April A to Z challenge to hell. Nevertheless, I’ll probably take a run at the challenge next year. Until then, I thought seriously of calling this post “I’ve Seen Hell,” but the news provided something better. Although it is true. I have seen hell.

I’ve witnessed SO‘s physical anguish. Certainly it’s been a horrible thing for him. I can’t fully process what he’s been through. But it’s also hell to watch the suffering of someone you love and be able to do little or nothing. For a control freak and scrapper like me, that is surely torture. Thankfully, I’ve been learning a better way by watching him. Despite being in pain topped off by even more pain, the man who has never been fake (and I admire him greatly for this ability) was a diplomat in horrendous circumstances. Graciousness all around — when I wanted to strangle someone. LOL! I’m glad I can laugh about this now that he is doing so much better! More on that later.

And I can even be content with all that’s happened when my mind’s eye sees SO’s sweet grin that charmed his nurses even as his fate was questionable. What made it sweeter was he had no intent to charm. But anyone that earnest and hopeful and clever of tongue is bound to generate some infatuation. Reminds me of someone else I’ve observed, and certainly goes a long way toward explaining my continued existence here.

That, and some insanity. :D

A little something to help me mute my rational self and get back in the flow:

03_20
[click to enlarge]

I know I’m not the first to say it, but damn! look at those eyelashes. They ought to be illegal. But great for going insane. LOL! *maniacal laugh in progress*

Too bad Lucas isn’t still alive, or maybe he is.

And now for Richard:

Dear Rich,

I really thought I was going to just leave you alone for good, but you’re too much fun, and so are your fans. I hope you don’t mind that I just can’t quit you. Yes, I admit I’m usually this cheesy, but would you rather I be serious? I didn’t think so. ;-)

Signed,
One of your crazy fans, who honestly doesn’t know how long she can keep her serious self down; just know that I’m trying. I’m really, really trying.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

note: if you’re thoroughly confused by this post, another post or two might shed some light on what we’ve been going through. Or skip it and come back when I bite into this last round of RA’s interviews.

A Timeout for Frenz

I cannot believe I’m referring to myself in third person again. If SO saw this, he would have a field day with it. I can hear it now, “What are you Elmo or Jimmy or something?”

Okay, the point — I turned off my phone for a few days, and I haven’t been on the Net, much. All of this was at the request of SO, who said, “Do you think you could navigate without that for a day or two?” Then he grinned. How could I resist?

And you know that old saying about familiarity breeding contempt, so I think staying away from Richard Armitage pics and video for a few days was a good thing and apparently didn’t put a damper on my ardor.

Back to the point. This is my long way of saying, please forgive me for not replying to email and messages. I have not been ignoring you — no one specific anyway. I just needed a break. But I’m back now, so give me some time to get caught up.

Thanks for being patient!

Hmmm. This needs a picture. But what would fit? Not sure. While I’m typing this sentence, I’m letting my mind wander. Got it.

RichardArmitage_InspectorLynley

Yes, I’m telling the truth, Rich. And I feel so good now that I realize I CAN survive several days without my phone and very little Internet. I know you like your phone, and oh yeah, your iPad, but you might give this a try sometime. :D

Note: this is a photo I haven’t been inclined to use because he looks so much like my dad in this one. Yeah, I can see my dad’s scolding look, and it looked just like that.

edit: When I got back on Twitter last night, I saw a blog piece by MicheleR with an update about Inspector Lynley. LOL! If you’ve never seen the show, go check out her blog.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

It’s Today and Tomorrow Comes Later

Yes, I’m finally updating this saga, and started to do it in the wee hours of the morning — at least for most of my readers. But if you haven’t been following along, the first part is here. And if you don’t want to follow along, no worries. Come back when I return to the regularly scheduled snark.

SO and I followed the doctor’s instructions and began the odyssey into the world of kidney disease. But just as we were getting started, the insurance company we had been paying for years decided to cancel our health insurance. They gave us a few months notice, and this was after they had been paid an average of around $2,000 a month for almost 10 years. Yeah, do the math on that. You may ask why that much. SO is type 1 diabetic and we are self-employed, which meant the bill was for a hellacious amount of coverage (and with a high deductible), but then when we needed it most, gone. Even now I want to call those that run the insurance company some foul names, but I believe it’s wrong to hold a grudge. It also steals my energy to do so.

Nevertheless, the insurance company took advantage, and we should have known we weren’t insuring against catastrophe. On some level as business people and realists, we knew insurance companies are gamblers and gamblers have the ability to call the game if it’s not going their way. But we got comfortable in what we were doing. We loved concentrating on the town and its people and not worrying about something coming to bite us on the backside. At one point before this happened, we had talked about self-insuring because we had the means, but we thought it was too risky. I could cry about that now; I just see no point. We have learned a hard lesson and now we try to apply what we’ve learned and move on. But make no mistake we’re aware of others who do not have the means and are still paying for what insurance companies and the healthcare industry in general did to them. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that, but I’m going to do something — government intervention or no government intervention (no, I don’t want to get political). This experience has made a reformer of me, but mostly, as a Christian, I cannot simply let this lie.

But I didn’t always feel that way. When this first happened, I wanted to become terrified and roll into a ball. I knew that although SO made an income and we had savings, it was potentially not enough to handle the coming debt of kidney disease. And since no one would hire SO and give him insurance benefits, I needed to find employment or we might eventually be left destitute. What I hadn’t considered was age discrimination. I wasn’t a stranger to discrimination as I had received some when I was younger and working in a “man’s profession,” but it was still not in my nature to look for it. I have to be hit over the head with it before I realize it’s happening. It began to hit me over the head repeatedly as I went to look for a job. No matter where I went or how well I did in interviews, no matter the power clothes or hip hairstyle I wore, or how much people liked me, or how well I passed any tests I was given, or how much I was willing to relocate, no one wanted to hire me. Along the way I kept re-educating myself about the process of getting a job, and I learned a lot more than I had known. I had certainly let most of my network dry up, and eventually I had to accept that maybe there was an issue with my being 50 years old. Ouch.

I’m not sure I can fully describe the pain of fighting the notion people are looking at you like you’re a non-entity, something to be dismissed. It took over a year for the reality to sink in. When it did, I was way past terrified and a big part of me wanted to say, “F*ck it” and be depressed. Can I think that and say that as a Christian? Can I have that attitude as someone who believes in Christ, the Redeemer of all? I sure can, but that’s not what the Lord wanted and had prepared me to do. Plus, He reminded me I know about depression and how it can suck you down in a pit and keep you there. I had learned that from growing up in an extended family where depression became so prevalent the running joke is the family crest is three men in straightjackets. I also learned it from my own life threatening bouts with it. Frankly, I could write a book about its debilitating effects, and in fact, I am. But I digress.

The unscalable wall of no job and no benefits, and therefore no way to easily deal with SO becoming sicker, was not moving. Something had to be done. But what? An employer was not on the horizon, and I could not see starting another business. Not a successful one anyway. I know how hard that is. It’s like being pregnant, giving birth and then rearing the child, which takes a lot of time and heart, and if you don’t attend to it as such, it will wither and die. The thought of taking that on while soldiering through what SO was dealing with and would eventually be dealing with could short circuit my brain. But the thought kept coming back. And of course I felt guilty at times about this place. Here we are in a major life crisis, and I’m blogging about some obscure British actor (a good looking, obscure British actor), but some bloke I didn’t know, and I was painting myself as a goofball in the process? What?!!

And just to be clear, SO is not a eunuch, was definitely skeptical of this place, and said to me rather pointedly on one occasion, “What are you doing? What wonderful energy are you expending? Is it worth it? You decide, but I want to ask you another question.” I arched a brow at him but said nothing, and then he went on, “How would you feel if I started blogging all the time about some good looking actress?” I looked him right in the eye and said, “I wouldn’t like it.” I almost quit blogging, but at that point, it was not about Richard Armitage, and really, it never was.

This post was supposed to be more about SO and turned out to be more about me. These posts were originally in two parts, but I’ve been thinking, and now I’m not sure how long this will run. This has happened a few times, and I’m well aware it has created some loose ends lying around here. I’ll get to them before I’m done. My anal nature will ensure that! But with this series, I’m going to keep going until I’m satisfied. Sort of like this blog — which was supposed to last two months. :D

More Tomorrow

I am so tired that I can barely type this sentence, but I promise to post more on my and SO’s adventure. Thanks for understanding. :)

A Little Story of Will

Life is funny how it jerks you around, but when I look back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There are fantastic things I’ve experienced that would have never happened if circumstances hadn’t pushed me. Until several years ago, I was comfortably ensconced in a beautiful little mountain town, raising my children, spending wonderful times with SO, cooking a lot and sometimes inviting the whole town to my house to laugh and eat or to mourn if the occasion warranted, and always having an open door to whomever may need to unburden themselves.

SO and I, who grew up in the city and came from corporate culture, had more or less become part of a family in this little town, and we were loving it. It was the realization of a dream that started when we were both busting our backsides in our 20s and 30s. The plan had been to build a business and make enough money that we could then go and freely do what we wanted. There were two things we wanted: to serve a community and to spend a lot of time with our kids and not necessarily in that order.

Us at 36 with the kids in a shot taken about 2 hours from where we would eventually live three years later:
FrenzFamily

Things were humming along nicely in the little town. We had learned to live way below our means in order for our savings to stretch and keep us in “retirement.” We also had a wonderful relationship with our kids and each other (despite our sometimes tempestuous interactions). Two of the kids were successfully doing college with another one getting ready to go. They had also enjoyed running and excelled at it. SO being a running coach was helpful, and we spent considerable time going to meets. It was at one such meet where our son was doing really well when something happened. SO had a pain, and it was bad enough he had to go to the car. This was the guy who usually ran all over a 5K course to keep up with the progress of a race and no obstacle ever got in his way. When he slunked off toward the car, I knew something was seriously wrong. A few moments later I jogged over to see what was going on. His face was deathly white, but he almost threw his stop watch at me and was adamant I watch the finish line.

I reluctantly went back to watch, and as I turned around, he was behind me. Still looking like a ghost and not able to walk so vigorously but trying to make it near the finish line. He didn’t quite make it and had to watch from afar as our son easily came in first. When I turned to say we should go to the hospital, he was stubborn about just going home. Home was 20 minutes away, so we went there quickly. All the way home, I was trying to get him to call an ambulance, but he refused (yep, he’s a typical male). Then as we walked into the house, he stopped and said, “Please call 911!” Thankfully, I had already called them, and they were on their way. SO sat on the local Fire and Rescue Board at the time, and I had actually called the fire chief’s house first, and then 911. They were there lickety split and SO was so anxious to see them that he stumbled into the front yard toward the ambulance.

At the hospital, we of course learned from tests that he had had a heart attack, and they were discussing care flight options with me. Such is the price of living in the boonies — anything really serious goes wrong, and you’re on a plane or helicopter heading for the city. Thankfully, SO’s situation stabilized and he was able to be taken by car to the other side of the mountain. They ran even more tests on him at the big city hospital, and we learned he would not be needing bypass surgery as there was no blockage or even damage to his heart. A miracle. But we also had a bomb dropped on us. We learned he had kidney disease and was a few steps away from dialysis.

We were quickly hooked up with a nephrologist, and a month later, SO was told to get a living donor or get on the kidney transplant deceased donor list. We started the process, and I was not a match, his sister was not a match, his parents were too old, several friends were not a match. Our children volunteered to give their kidneys, but considering the family history, we told them it was best to hang onto theirs — they may need them! The work began to get him on the deceased donor list. This took a year and was quite a roller coaster ride. But even while this was being done, I and other family were working to find him a living donor. Meanwhile, his doctors had told him to do everything possible to stay off of dialysis, and as a result, he became too weak to do much of anything.

All of this was going on a few months after I started this blog. Tomorrow night I’ll continue the story.

continues here

Happy New Year!

2012 was quite a ride for Richard Armitage. Too much happened to recap it! Not even going to try especially when there are so many others who have done such a marvelous job of it, and if you don’t want a recap and just want to immerse yourself in information and photos about Richard Armitage, try Places to Get a Fix or The Addict List.

As for me, I’m taking a day off and celebrating! I may go skiing, and I may go see The Hobbit again. It occurred to me I was tense about SO‘s take on the movie and couldn’t really enjoy it like I wanted. So back to the movies without him. Until then, I’ll be outside.

And now a word or two to our guy:

Richard,

I hope you can take the day off. It’s lovely weather for skiing somewhere, and you’ve got the funds to go where you would like. Yes, I realize you know that, but with someone like you, a reminder may be in order.

If you take it into your head to grace our slopes in the U.S., there are plenty of great places. I’m not even going to mention my area although it’s great too!

Wherever you go, I hope you can get outside. That’s where I’m headed. I adore being outside, and I don’t mind saying it’s days like today that make me want to pinch myself because I live where I do.

Hope you have a great day and don’t break a leg. :D

Signed,
One of your crazy fans, who wishes she could do this:

P.S. If you missed it, check out my other letter about skiing. I’ll be back tomorrow to give you a hard time with my speculation about what you’re doing. :D