RAFrenzy

Asking

[note: I’m going to attempt another blogging scheme. This time around is the April A to Z Blog Challenge. Since there are 30 days in April, there is a break every Sunday. We’ll see how far I make it.]

I’ve asked many questions as part of running this blog and have learned some fascinating facts. It’s been no hardship since I have always loved asking questions and wish I had asked even more questions in my lifetime and much sooner. One of my greatest regrets is not asking my father questions so that I could have come to a better understanding of who he was. He’s gone now and that opportunity has been supremely missed and missed because I had the attitude he had said quite enough to me about his thoughts. That’s when I saw him merely as a parent and not as another human being. As I write this, I have tears running down my face at how grieved I am about the loss of the fantastic thoughts he could have shared, and more important, about the fantastic human being I missed out on knowing to a richer level. I am not making that mistake with my mother!

As to making so many queries, it’s borne out of an insatiable need to understand so many things. Unfortunately, I feel compelled to qualify how I’m going about it, to make it clear that I fight the tendency we all can have of looking for particular answers. This is what lawyers do to get the upper hand. That’s not what I’m about. Oh, I admit to having a dominate personality at times, but my real obsession — the one that obliterates all others — is wanting to understand reality, and it has been my obsession as far back as I can remember having a thought. May I never lose the drive to know it no matter the ugly things it may reveal by which I don’t mean sordid details of someone’s private business. I’m sure some of you (no, make that all of you) have something intensely fascinating in your private life, but I do not want to pry.

However, there is a person in RA Universe, whom I want to ask questions and have asked some. I want to ask more! I’m fairly certain the person knows I feel this way. If not, then I haven’t said it enough. And if the person isn’t reading this, one of you knows whom I’m talking about, so will you tell the person I’m more or less asking again to have a chat.

Oh, you thought I was talking about Richard Armitage? No, it’s not him although I would love to ask him some questions. I’ve already asked him for an interview, and he said yes. :D The only problem is I don’t think he realized he was talking to one of his crazy fans when he agreed, and I didn’t have the heart to take him up on his kindness to me. So when it came clutch time, I just couldn’t reveal my insanity. I’m not that insane yet. I would love to be that insane. Oh what fun that would be. But I am not that insane today.

And if I ever do interview Richard Armitage, I might just call it a day on this blog, which I’m not ready to do. However, I do have some great questions for him. Nothing inappropriate or inane despite my appearance here. Let’s just say I won’t be asking the usual (I wouldn’t do that to you. LOL!), and hopefully not the predictable either.

But back to who continually intrigues me. It’s a person who just when I think I’ve got them figured out, they do something that confounds me again. I will admit to being pretty average in my assessments, so maybe it doesn’t take much to confound me, but I don’t think this is just me. And I’m sitting here thinking about what they’ve done, chuckling to myself, and wondering when the next surprise is coming. Whatever happens, I want THE interview if there ever is an interview. Oh, it would be friendly, because you have to know I’m a fan of yours as well. Mostly, I wonder how people like you come to be and flourish. I am damn near dying to know this.

For the rest of you, please no guesses on who this is, because I’m never going to confirm it if you get lucky. :D

And a huge thank you to those of you who have submitted to questions. Some have been published, some have yet to be published or may never be — at your request. Whatever the case, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you.

That’s enough for now. More tomorrow when I of course come with the B word.

Robert Ascroft promo still courtesy of RichardArmitageNet’s gallery.

April 1, 2013
Categories: Fandom . Tags: April A to Z, crazy people, fun, introspection, Richard Armitage, Robert Ascroft . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 10 Comments

This is Huge!!!

I just read at TORn that Disney is acquiring Middle Earth Enterprises. Someone pinch me because I can’t knock this grin off my face. Do you know what this means?!! Yeah, lots of lovely films for Peter Jackson and the Tolkien stories. All of you people who have been pushing for such things as the Silmarillion to be filmed or included in Jackson’s offerings (waves hand vigorously as part of that crowd), I think we all just died and went to heaven. No more legal wrangling holding things up!! Parties successfully taking Disney to court? Not happening.

And now Return to Middle Earth will be released in 2016? Man, I am high. Seriously, and I have to say something to our man, Peter Jackson.

Sir Peter,

No need to wear those glasses. I dig you the way you are, baby, and the critics be damned. Just stay on good terms with Philippa at the new company.

I guess if she wants you to wear glasses, then do it! Phew! you should be able to do anything you want!!!

Signed,
~~One of Richard’s crazy fans~~ A Ringer!

Read TORn’s post here.

March 31, 2013
Categories: Movies, The Hobbit . Tags: Disney, Peter Jackson, Richard Armitage . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 5 Comments

A Timeout for Frenz

I cannot believe I’m referring to myself in third person again. If SO saw this, he would have a field day with it. I can hear it now, “What are you Elmo or Jimmy or something?”

Okay, the point — I turned off my phone for a few days, and I haven’t been on the Net, much. All of this was at the request of SO, who said, “Do you think you could navigate without that for a day or two?” Then he grinned. How could I resist?

And you know that old saying about familiarity breeding contempt, so I think staying away from Richard Armitage pics and video for a few days was a good thing and apparently didn’t put a damper on my ardor.

Back to the point. This is my long way of saying, please forgive me for not replying to email and messages. I have not been ignoring you — no one specific anyway. I just needed a break. But I’m back now, so give me some time to get caught up.

Thanks for being patient!

Hmmm. This needs a picture. But what would fit? Not sure. While I’m typing this sentence, I’m letting my mind wander. Got it.

Yes, I’m telling the truth, Rich. And I feel so good now that I realize I CAN survive several days without my phone and very little Internet. I know you like your phone, and oh yeah, your iPad, but you might give this a try sometime. :D

Note: this is a photo I haven’t been inclined to use because he looks so much like my dad in this one. Yeah, I can see my dad’s scolding look, and it looked just like that.

edit: When I got back on Twitter last night, I saw a blog piece by MicheleR with an update about Inspector Lynley. LOL! If you’ve never seen the show, go check out her blog.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

March 26, 2013
Categories: Fandom, Inspector Lynley, Miscellaneous works, SO, Timeout . Tags: blogging, fake fan letters, Fangirl Fatigue, friends, Philip Turner, Richard Armitage, screencaps, techie anonymous . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 7 Comments

Spooks, The Movie

According to Peter Firth, a movie version of Spooks is in the works. As much as I’ve ranted about my frustration with Spooks Series 9, I’m totally up for a film version of the series and of course one that includes the erstwhile Lucas North.

Richard Armitage is so cagey, it wouldn’t surprise me if he already knew about this. He talked about it so enthusiastically in the past, I’ve always wondered myself.

March 26, 2013
Categories: Rumors, Spooks . Tags: Lucas North, MI-5, Peter Firth, Richard Armitage, Spooks, the Movie . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 29 Comments

They Don’t Have a Clue – Spoilers

Spoilers for North and South, but honestly, you can handle this if you haven’t seen it. The clip should make you want to watch the whole thing! Also spoilers for some other movies if you look at the link.

I was just looking at MTV’s new poll, and part of it is for best onscreen kiss. I watched the videos, and it was so unsatisfying. MTV doesn’t get it, and I mean no offense to any of the actors involved, but after you’ve seen this below, you’re ruined for other onscreen kisses. No one does it better than Richard Armitage. Don’t believe me? Watch if you dare:

This was the first clip I ever saw which had Richard Armitage speaking. It was a spoiler that spoiled in the best way possible. Proving I’m not totally down on spoilers.

Actually, Darcywil’s clip was the first one I saw, but it’s edited, and I kind of like Henry’s mug in there :D

March 25, 2013
Categories: Movies, North and South, Spoilers . Tags: Best onscreen kiss of all time, contests, John Thornton, MTV, Richard Armitage, train station scene, video clips . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 14 Comments

And You Wonder Why It’s Called the Armitage Army

Zan has just issued a call to arms. To right a wrong as she puts it. I can do my duty for Richard Armitage. And yeah, I like Aidan Turner too. I have seen him in person, and believe it or not, he’s cuter in real life than he appears in his pictures or video. Yeah, it’s true. He puts a grin on your face. But all that aside, I’m doing this for our guy. :D

Call to arms!

March 25, 2013 by zan

OK, maybe “arms” is a bit harsh. But “call to keyboards” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, y’know?

Anyway … what I’m getting at is that all Thorin devotees and Fili followers, YOU ARE NEEDED!!! NOW!!! There’s less than 12 hours to fix a terrible wrong!

As y’all have probably seen, TORn is running their version of March Madness using our beloved LotR and Hobbit characters. Even though there were some questionable match-ups in Round 1 — Fili v Kili? REALLY??? — a few of our darling Dwarves made it through to Round 2. And now, well … Houston, we have a problem…

Read the rest here

I had to snaffle this gif. It’s so appropriate. Isn’t it the damndest thing when the Army moves into action, Rich? :D Yeah, well, it doesn’t have that name for no reason.

Gif courtesy of Zan’s sidebar. What you haven’t read that blog piece yet? Move it!

edit: Yes, yes, I get Kili and Fili mixed up, and they’re both cute. Dean O’Gorman’s dimples are so appealing they should be criminal.

March 25, 2013
Categories: The Hobbit . Tags: Aidan Turner, Armitage Army, contests, Dean O'Gorman, Fili, Kili, Richard Armitage, TheOneRing.net, Thorin Oakenshield, TORn . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 11 Comments

Okay, Yeah, I’m Weak

I admit my weakness freely and don’t even care if others have posted this. It’s too good not to post. And I would have put up more clips of the stream, but this part of the video I made was garbled. The cap will have to do. :D

I have other caps, but I’m tired, and I’m sure others have and will put up plenty before we’re all done.

March 25, 2013
Categories: Movies, The Hobbit . Tags: Lee Pace, Richard Armitage, screencaps, Thorin Oakenshield, Thranduil . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 2 Comments

The Hobbit, TMI?

Today, I had a long chat with myself. The issue at hand was my awareness of too much about the first movie in The Hobbit “trilogy.” It seems I was not as overwhelmed with awe as I had hoped when I first saw An Unexpected Journey. Yes, I’m admitting it did not completely live up to my expectations, but several people I know and respect have loved this movie — including my immediate family who before the movie came out, gave me good natured hell every chance they got about my extreme knowledge of all things Hobbit never mind my absurd knowledge of all things Richard Armitage. No, I don’t literally mean all things Richard Armitage. Chill on the Armitage Protection Mode, will ya? :D

What I discovered is that all of the people I know personally who have adored this movie didn’t know nearly as much about it as I did, and I would like to join them on that when the next installment comes out. During the weeks leading up to the premiere of An Unexpected Journey, my gut was literally screaming at me to take a step back and not be so informed, but I was grossly infected with FOMO, which made me less sensitive to my gut talking. And now I wish I had not been so obsessive about satisfying my curiosity that I did the one thing I’ve railed about on this blog — spoilers. Of course I know how the book plays out, but this isn’t the book, is it? This is Peter Jackson’s version of it, and he was so kind to give me quite a bird’s eye view.

Oh yeah, sure, it wasn’t too much for some of you, but I know now that it was for me. And all of this brings me to a couple of conclusions. First, I have new found respect for movie critics, who earlier in my life were thought of as frustrated directors just finding a way to release their sour grapes. I was wrong. Oh, so wrong. My gosh, it’s a miracle they like any movie once it comes out after knowing so much about them beforehand. Second, I have decided that I am not going to pore over every piece of information that comes out about the rest of The Hobbit movies, and I was not going to watch nor listen to anything today that was related to Desolation of Smaug. But after the email and messages I have received, I had to do something. ;-)

So here’s the clip from the movie:

And no worries, here’s our guy.

If WB wants me to take these down, then I certainly will, but I hope I can leave them up, since they help promote the movie. :D

Dear Sir Peter,

I know you may be thinking, “Sheesh, someone’s always bitching about something.” You’re great, and you’ve been great about sharing. I really do appreciate that, and I know that so many fans love it and aren’t affected negatively by it. I guess I’m just one of those fans who needs to be surprised more, and since you’re not holding a gun to my head to watch these things, I’m not so sure I want to know as much as the last time around. Oh, I want to be able to gush until I’m wrung dry, but I would rather do it after the movie comes out.

Sincerely,
One of Richard’s crazy fans

P.S. love your footwear

March 24, 2013
Categories: Movies, The Hobbit . Tags: always bitching about something, fake fan letters, hype, hype wore me out, Peter Jackson, Richard Armitage, screencaps, Thorin Oakenshield, video clips . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 20 Comments

And Then It Continued

First part of the story here.

Today is the anniversary of Janine‘s initial encounter with John Thornton, and now the rest of her story:

Days passed. The letter became a being, existing with an accusatory bent. I was determined not to mail it.

My birthday arrived. I took the day off from work, and as I wandered about my favorite coastal town in the peace of being alone with the sea and sun, I was able to breathe. At dinner, I sat on the wharf with a copy of ‘North and South’ in my hands and read the first chapters of the story that had somehow brought such change into my life.

That night I copied the letter onto some stationery and found an address for Richard. It felt right. So what if I was a blathering idiot in my prose to him? I had written what I felt. I mailed it.

Nope. It didn’t help.

My family went away for a few days. I stayed home with the pets and the vegetable garden. And the entire DVD set of Robin Hood. I watched the first two series over again.

Work and the family returned. I kept hurtling toward something. It felt like that.

And one day my access to one of the unofficial RA sites went AWOL. I couldn’t figure it out and being denied access for some random reason was a most cruel joke.

I contacted the owner. It was my first contact with someone over Richard. I felt odd. Who did this? Not me. Not ever. Not practical, no-nonsense me.

We never did figure out why I couldn’t connect. But I had made a personal connection with someone who was kind, smart and didn’t treat me like I was a nutjob because I was reading interviews and looking up information about an actor.

That exchange launched me into the land of Twitter and contact of an instanteous nature with other admirers of Richard Armitage. One by one I found or was found. And I started twittering away, finding myself swept up into another crazed frenzy.

There were moments I actually felt giddy.

And it was there that I had my first exhilirating exchange with the writer of this blog, Frenz. I’d read a lot of her posts over the months since discovering Richard. I liked her voice as a writer. I appreciated her self-deprecation. And suddenly here we were in some sort of DM Twitterfest that lasted more than two hours.

She was relentless in her questions to me but also in revealing pieces of herself. It was a unique exchange that did many things that night. But the important one is that it forced me to yet another level of awareness about myself.

Three months and two days after writing that letter to Richard, I was writing a letter to me.

The next day, it took about nine hours with a few breaks, for the first time in my life, I sat there and let my heart — my battered, suppressed heart — rage.

Because once upon a time, I had imagination. I had that joy in creating. I had that feeling anything was possible.

What happened?

What happened.

I held nothing back. I was brutally honest as I typed, admitting my failures. Admitting other people’s failures to me. From childhood to adulthood I roamed.

I didn’t edit. I just typed. I cried. There were moments I thought I might break.

So I cried some more.

I could feel myself emerge as I neared the end. And as I typed the final few sentences, I was sobbing. I thought I could paraphrase what I was writing to Frenz but I cannot, so here it is, raw and unedited.

——
As I have been writing this for about 8 hours, I have been hurtling toward the end not knowing what to say. But it hit me a little while back.
I think you asked why Richard – was it just last night?
I didn’t think I had an answer. I find I do. At this moment in time, after just giving you the abbreviated version of my life, I do have an answer that makes sense.
He dares.
But me, surrounded by all that you have just read, I do not. Not really. And I want to. I want to break free and dare. Truly dare.
I need to. I need to believe I could play Thorin, that I am finally good enough. I need to have those doubts and slay them.
In my case, I need to believe I can build my own business and be a success. That I have learned in 25 years of working and 45 years of living that I am good enough to have something of my own. That I can have a dream I can fulfill. I know I have the skills. Because in this very moment I have realized that I have always put my dreams aside. Always. Always. I admit it. Finally.
And I am crying so hard I can barely see.
I need a champion. That would be Richard. The man who dared. Who is inspiring me to dare. Who gives me hope that nice people do achieve great things through hard work and because they dare.
For a while now, I have been thinking this: Richard makes me want things I can never have.
So negative. But how could I not be because he does make me yearn for so much more than what I have in my existence. I couldn’t see past the negative because it was so massive.
And now, because I have said this I need to think differently.
Richard makes me want things I will dare to have.
——

I can safely admit that since I had that moment at the end of last October, everything has changed.

I now have a world full of people who share at least one commonality: an admiration for Richard Armitage. And it turns out we share so much more. Of course we do. I have slowly gotten to know person after person, and I am in a world so rich with possibility because of them that my heart nearly bursts some days from the sheer joy in being alive.

I have done silly things. I have done fun things. I have done serious things. I expect to keep repeating this pattern for some time.

In return I have been given the gift of friendship. When I am troubled – again, life doesn’t happen in a vacuum – a tidal wave of support flows over then buoys me so I won’t flounder. Well, at least not for long.

Frenz asked, quite some time ago, if I would write about inspiration and Richard.

In the end, it was never about Richard Armitage. Not at all.

He is the catalyst.

I am my inspiration.

Because I dare.

Yes, you, do, Janine, and we all love it.

And me, relentless? I’m a pussycat. :D

Screencap courtesy of Gallicka.com

March 17, 2013
Categories: Fandom, The Hobbit . Tags: creativity, Fanstra, FanstRAvaganza, Guest Post, Richard Armitage, Thorin Oakenshield, Why Richard, writing . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 16 Comments

What Just Happened?

Janine‘s account of Richard Armitage hitting her world:

Sometimes life hands you something you didn’t know you needed.

Or even were looking for.

Richard Armitage. It is a name that a year ago I would have said, “Who, the politician guy?” and Googled him to check. The actor’s name would have meant nothing. Now? I do not know enough words to express all that I feel for the actor guy. I still would need to Google the politician.

What I have been pondering and mulling this past year is simple — and complicated. Why Richard? Why me? What just happened?

Mid-March of 2012 found me with the Netflix DVD of ‘North and South.’ It had been in my queue for probably two years, but I never made a move to watch it. While the story sounded slightly depressing, it was there because it was Elizabeth Gaskell. A drought in British period dramas brought it to my house. I hate to say that my viewing of this was with “the family.” That is never a good idea with period pieces, which do not hold the attention of a large portion of the inmates.

But I remember the first moment I saw Richard on screen. And while I know this is not true, there was complete silence, at least in my head.

I don’t remember coherent thoughts. It was more a wordless recognition. Just … there.

The voice hit me next. It was so much to process that it was only later when my head said, “Chocolate.” And for me, it wasn’t just any kind, but this particular mocha buttercream I make for the yule log each year: rich, a little sweet, smooth as silk.

Since the show was divided over two discs, I had to wait an entire week to get the second half.

I know.

By the time I got to the kiss to end all kisses in the history of romance, not to mention the future into all of eternity or any parallel universe, I was attempting to remain sensible. This was assisted by the presence of “the family.” After they toddled off to bed, I replayed that scene a shocking number of times.

Somehow I was able to stop myself, only to go to the DVD extras to watch the man who played John Thornton masterfully and with such nuance.

Awkward. Uncomfortable. Stumbling over his words a bit. This was the man who just made John Thornton tear a hole in the space-time continuum?

I found him endearing. Sincere. Real. And when he started to discuss the responsibility of playing his character, he said a few fateful words that stopped me short. He talked about his character living for 150 years on the page.

Ah. Imagination. Richard Armitage had imagination.

I am not sure how the craziness played out over the next few weeks. It is a bit of a blur. I decided to watch his work chronologically if I could find it. That meant “Robin Hood” was up next (what? a bad boy? conflicted? smirking?). I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of content on the Internet: fan sites, blogs and everything in between. I darted about when I had time, hearing echoes of my own reactions wherever I went.

Did I say echoes? I meant the keening cry of a siren’s call. I was Odysseus floating on a sea called denial.

Around June I was starting to question my sanity. What was I doing? I felt an incredible need to watch this man work, crafting characters where Richard disappeared. He was a chameleon, shifting in and out of roles where he looked remarkably different from himself, and it wasn’t due to makeup or prosthetics.

Eclipsing that need, however, was a desire to understand his motivation. Almost daily I was looking up interviews, scattered at first, but then starting with the earliest and moving ahead, wanting to see how he grew and changed in those years between ‘North and South’ and now.

It was those interviews and commentaries — along with the letters to his fans — that brought me to the conclusion that this was a decent guy with a wicked sense of humor, a man who embodied a lot of my ideals. Much of the time, I felt as if he reflected me: staying in the background, giving praise but not comfortable getting it, working hard to do the job not just well but excellently, living honorably. The list only grew.

It all made me admire him more.

None of this happened in a vacuum. Life was swirling madly about just like always. Family was crazy, work actually went to an even crazier place in May, June and July, and I was working on my own web-based garden site that I launched in December 2011. There was a dog to keep entertained, a vegetable garden to tend, summer projects to start, friends to visit …. The list was always endless. The majority of my entertainment was watching shows with Richard in them.

In July I started to examine what I was doing. Why? That is forever the question I ask. Who, what, where, when and even the how are just facts. It’s the why that tells the story. Why Richard? Why me? Why all of this here and now and in such an intensity that, I now admit, frightened me?

I needed to write something. Anything. It took a form of a letter to Richard in my head. It morphed and changed. Edited, rewritten and edited again. Then Comic-Con happened. In nearly real time, I saw Richard giving interviews and being wholly charming. There was a twinkle in his eyes that his beard only emphasized. He was articulate and again earnest in his unmistakable love for what he was doing.

At that point, the urge to write was overwhelming. I write. It’s what I do. It’s the place where I can be honest to myself about everything. And why I was denying myself that was because it was important. I knew in my soul it was important. Either I couldn’t admit to the why or I didn’t know the answer myself yet.

Eleven days later, after a long day taking care of my grandmother who had cataract surgery early that morning, I wrote. Longhand. And wrote and wrote. Several hours later I had a letter to Richard. I tucked it away and actually believed that had done it, that I would wake up the next morning and be able to let this go.

No.

It only intensified.