Unless you’re under a rock in the RA universe, you know by now that our guy Richard Armitage is going to be playing Thorin Oakenshield in “The Hobbit.” What I found interesting is the filming schedule. Begins in February. What else do we know begins filming in February? Oh, I understand if you’re a novice at this Richard Armitage watching. So let me instruct you as an act of public service. ;-) You may not be aware that the BBC show Spooks will start filming in February, and RA plays one of the main characters, Lucas North. No, he’s nothing like Guy of Gisborne in this one. At least that’s what I have been thinking, but on second thought, he might be a bad guy (pardon the pun).
I’m trying to process the speculation about Lucas, and now? Is it too early to say he’s toast? I mean RA is good at running from location to location, but no one’s that good. London to New Zealand is still quite a trek (assuming the squabbling over labor is settled and it will be in NZ). Or maybe Spooks is going on location again? No, they’ve got their Greek God replacement, so I think they’ll stay home.
Whatever the case with Lucas North, I hope he goes down in a blaze of glory. Does it have to be a peaceful death? No offense to RA’s wishes. Somehow that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun, and a peaceful death is harder to write, and well, do I need to explain why I don’t hold out hope for a well done peaceful death? Of course if it’s a violent death, then I suppose it will have to be a bomb. Maybe I can hold out for a death like Guy’s where he still gets to say a few words at the end. All I know at this point is that I’m on for the ride with Lucas, and I will enjoy it no matter what. But my most ardent wish is that he will come to his senses at the end and have a mad, passionate love affair with Beth. She can even be Alpha.
In the meantime, I’m salivating at the thought of SO, who is an LOTR fan, paying to watch Richard Armitage in a movie.
See Diary Part 21 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.
[note: if you are easily offended, don’t read this piece]
Entry — Yet Still Fall, 2008
I finally started watching ‘Between the Sheets’ last night.
A couple of days later:
Part of me wants to finish this show and the other part wants to delete the files.
A little while later:
I really didn’t need to subject myself to that. What in God’s name was I thinking? I’m really naive or stupid. Did I think this was going to be just some analysis of sex with all the suggestive comments I’ve read about it? Man, I am dumb. No, I’m not dumb; I just really like watching Richard Armitage, and that rendered me temporarily stupid.
And the manipulation of Richard Armitage’s parts was literally in my face! One minute I’m looking at this:
and hearing his character, Paul say, “Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” The next thing…WTF?!! Uh, no, no, that’s not what I mean. I know what it is. That’s exactly what it looks like. Richard Armitage should get a f*cking award for that — literally. ROFLOL!!!
Then later he and Alona, his partner, are at it again, and if there can be an award for sexual groaning, Richard should get it. Meg Ryan’s got nothing on him. Oh, the vocal range. Ohmygosh! he’s good at this too! I think I’m traumatized. LOL! Me, who has always loved earthy humor and who has adored SO sexually and otherwise and thoroughly enjoyed making children with him and all the the other times we didn’t make any children, is feeling a little violated. I don’t know whether to laugh or scowl. But I am mad at myself for overruling my gut. My infernal curiosity got the best of me. I just had to watch one more thing with Richard Armitage, and it turned out to be what felt very much like gratuitous sex and definitely too much information. It would be about anyone!
How did I get here from John Thornton?
Later:
Maybe I’m just being a prude. But I haven’t ever been a prude. That’s just not me. Plus, I’ve seen nudity in movies many times, and it didn’t freak me out. No, I was desensitized to nudity long ago, which I’m not sure is good. But it’s hardly surprising since I saw both of my parents naked on several occasions when I was growing up, and I never thought much of it. But then, they didn’t appear to be having sex. LOL! ‘Between the Sheets’ was pretty graphic sex short of seeing genitalia, which is the only thing that keeps it from being porn.
Then there was the plain talking about sex, but that couldn’t have bothered me. ___________ [my sibling] and I grew up in a household where almost nothing was off-limits for discussion. My parents did stop short of talking about their intimate relationship, but that’s it. Talk of sex in general? Ohmygosh, I heard lots of talk about that. I get tickled when people mention their parents giving them “the talk.” The talk?! LOL! I got countless talks, and they were honest with a vengeance. In fact, there was such an honesty to my parents that it bordered on inappropriate at times. I’m sure that I, in turn, didn’t display the kind of decorum most others are accustom to; it’s hard to know when you grow up with such free talk.
I remember the first time I could hear my parents as other people must have heard them. SO came to dinner, and afterward we were sitting around the table talking. Dad and SO were talking and Mom was telling me about some article she’d read. If I’ve heard her begin with, “I was reading an article the other day,” I’ve heard her begin with it a thousand times. Most of the time it’s really interesting since her reading material covers such a variety of topics. This particular evening she launched into a clinical discussion. She’s always made a steady diet of JAMA, NEJM, a few other clinical periodicals, and of course the PDR. I think I was 15 before I realized people didn’t normally possess a PDR, and this was long before they were easily available to the general public. But Mom was always driven to find out about anything that went into our mouths, so she was never without it. That evening she began to hit me with her latest discovery. It was something about f*latio facilitating infections. It took me a few moments to snap to on the word, and then I didn’t move and wasn’t sure where to look. SO and I were pure as the driven snow at this point, so I was mortified by her free way with words and her pursuit of er, knowledge.
Now that I’m reading what I’ve just written, Mom seems buffoonish. I wish I knew how to really capture her and Dad. It’s so frustrating to want to say something, and it just comes out all wrong. SO has begged me to write a book about them. He thinks they’re too fantastic not to be captured on the page. I don’t think I can do it. Just don’t have what it takes.
Thankfully, SO wasn’t listening to Mom that evening, but really, even if he had been, he would have had a great comeback. He’s nothing if not great at comebacks. Still amazes me. Why I want to underestimate him I don’t know. Plus, he’s always admired my parents’ honesty. He would have simply laughed and praised them in his mind for their frankness. Hell, it would have been a relief since his parents were the type that make you wonder how they ever had kids. I guess I was his Gaylord Focker and he was my Pam. No, no, Mom wasn’t Rozalin Focker, she’s always been Auntie Mame and I’m Patrick. Except for my dad, that story could have been mine. To this day when someone asks me what Mom’s like, I ask if they’ve seen Rosalind Russell in Mame.
I don’t know whether to be thankful for her, or…Oh hell, yes, I’m thankful, and whom would I trade her for?
The next day:
Now I’m hacked at the producers of this piece. I hate being manipulated when it’s not fun. I can’t even talk about this to anyone because I would have to explain too much or lie, and I refuse to lie, so I’m not talking. All those other times I felt dumb watching something more than once?! That was so benign. I guess I could say something to SO, and he would listen, but eventually there would be another comical name for Richard Armitage. And I can’t get on the Army board. I’m pretty sure of the reception my reaction would get. It would be dismissed as the reaction of someone who just isn’t intellectual enough to look beyond the sex scenes to the larger context albeit they would do it subtly so as not to put down the provincial rube, and they would be so right. I am provincial and a rube.
But is this just about intellect or a bourgeois mentality? No, I’m a human being who is profoundly moved by sex, and that’s healthy, and it’s not all driven by my intellect or conventional mores although that’s part of it. Isn’t it a wonderful thing to be profoundly moved by sex? I’m sure I would rue the day I wasn’t moved by it or the day I could sit and watch something as graphic as ‘Between the Sheets’ and view it only clinically or merely use it to get off on. Hehehe look at Richard Armitage’s “peaches.” Oh brother. But then, some of the cute remarks about his peaches may be from people who are flabbergasted like me and trying to make sense of it.
I just really don’t want to watch people having sex and don’t need to watch them having sex to get turned on. But I could never say that on a forum because the minute someone says something like that hardly anyone believes them, or that’s how people seem to let on in a group. Everyone must be cool, and especially concerning sex. That’s how people come across, but get them talking in a private room, and it’s usually a different story. Anyway, I’m glad I had a visceral reaction. It was healthy, and I would worry about myself if I hadn’t.
Surely the people who put this show together knew it would have this reaction from some, or maybe they’re so desensitized they don’t know. I wonder. I hate sometimes that I wonder about so friggin’ many things. I do not need to spend time thinking about this. What’s funny is that I’ll bet the makers of this show would love to know they riled someone like me. Kay Mellor and company hit the jackpot with my reaction. Of course my curiosity demanded I had to find out about her. Shit. I hate that I do things like that because what difference does it make what I know about Kay Mellor? Useless, useless knowledge, and I’m overflowing with it! And now I’m a little weirded out by the fact her daughter played Georgia, WTF? And her little granddaughter played Fiona. Then her other daughter helped produce it. Just a family affair. Wonder if Richard Armitage is a cousin.
I don’t know what to think of him. I’m feeling a mixture of disappointment and pity. His sexual scenes were much more graphic than any of the others. Why were his parts so in our faces? Yeah, I know the answer. Talk about being objectified. Wonder what it was like being a fly on the wall during that filming. Wait! I was a fly on the wall. LOL!
Not sure I can watch him in anything else or certainly not before I forget what he looks like scr*wing. This may really be the thing that cures me of my fascination. At least I had the common sense to watch it on my computer. If I had been watching that on tv and my kids came into the room, I don’t know what I would have done. That right there tells me I shouldn’t have been watching this show. SO and I have always been so open with them. We talk about everything with them short of our intimate relationship, which is none of their business. But everything else is up for discussion. To sneak around and watch this show?! It sounds like something I’d rather not name.
A few days later:
I’m sure not Richard Armitage’s mother and sure as hell not old enough to be his mother, but I find myself thinking about her and continually trying to rationalize his part in this show. Good grief I am actually thinking about some actor’s mother! I read a few of his supposed comments about the show, and now I can’t help but wonder about her. Supposedly he didn’t know what he was getting into. LOL! Bullshit. I also read that his mother watched it. What?! How would I feel if I saw my son like that? (eyes crossed) Mrs. Armitage, wherever you are, I feel for you.
I need someone to slap me for caring about this.
Present day:
This was a tough entry to edit, and I have so many more thoughts about this show. But I’ve got to stop. More later.
I’ve had a difficult time writing about Lucas North, and I had not fully understood why. There’s been the occasional post about Spooks and some RA interviews concerning Spooks, but mostly Lucas has been ignored. I wonder how many noticed the glaring omission of Lucas on the page Who is Richard Armitage? I didn’t even realize it until a couple of weeks after I posted, and since then it’s been my intention to make him part of it. But I’ve never been able to find a clip that I really liked — that really moved me.
And even though I’ve made a few comments about Lucas, it’s been really difficult to be snarky about him, and if you’ve read this blog for more than an entry or two, you know that snark reigns here. I suppose that’s due to the very serious issues I grapple with on a daily basis. If I didn’t become snarky, it would probably eat my lunch. Well, that and SO is such a challenge. He’s persuasive, very good on his feet, and rarely can I put him in check with my words unless I say something like, “I’m pregnant,” to which he becomes speechless with a huge grin on his face. The rest of the time, I have to keep up with him, and I’ve loved learning to keep up with him. He is my Alpha male with a little Beta thrown in, but I love that he’s predominantly Alpha. That Alpha allows me, among other things, to be snarky with him. Alpha can handle it, but a male who is too much Beta is a drain. Too much Beta carries a neediness that’s just irritating and could never take a joke — not really. Plus, too much Beta just feels like a girlfriend, and I don’t want to go to bed with a girlfriend.
It’s only when Beta is juxtaposed with a lot of Alpha that it becomes fascinating and serves the wonderful purpose of also highlighting Alpha. This is what I loved about John Thornton. That big bear of a man had a sensitivity that allowed him to take note of Margaret’s movements serving tea or to make himself vulnerable to his mother after his rejection, or to develop a fondness for the Boucher boy who was learning to read. But first and foremost, John Thornton was a strong man. If he had not been, then his sensitivity would not have been nearly so dear. It was certainly this strength coupled with his appreciation of the finer feelings that wowed me. Lucas was none of that or didn’t appear to be. I’m not saying I wanted another John Thornton, but I did want to see something other than a guy who was a drain.
From the beginning Lucas was a victim, which would have been fine if he had been redeemed as a man. But as it was, he was not really treated as a man. That was reserved for Ros, and Ros had her own kind of domination over Lucas. It’s my opinion (yes, it’s just my opinion like most things on this blog) the inference that the relationship between Harry and Lucas is sexual is really about Lucas placing himself in a posture of subjection and being needy of Harry, needing Harry to affirm him like a father or as only a strong male can affirm another. All of that would have been great for laying a foundation to the redemption of Lucas.
But then we get to Series 8 where he reverts to being manipulated by his former captor and temporarily switches his focus for affirmation to Sarah, who no doubt was quite the Alpha — definitely a ball buster– and Lucas wanted it so badly. Then it was found out by MI-5, and Lucas is told to play her along, which puts him between his potential redeemers. That became so wearying and the neediness never more evident than when he’s on the floor with Sarah’s gun pointed at his head and he whispers, “Take me with you.” Phew, that has an ick factor. Bark off the tree. I HATE that scene, and it was also the one which made it clear that I liked Lucas even less than Sarah. So when he got to the scene where he said he was disgusted by her, I didn’t believe him. He was too wishy washy to be really disgusted — for long anyway. Sarah had something he wanted — some balls. Even Ros was the one who had to take Sarah down at the end.
All of this has had me dreading anymore Lucas love affairs. In fact, I read this article and found myself nodding at this comment, “His current camaraderie with Beth is much more interestingly and engagingly written than his love affairs have been, and I don’t think the “Who is John?” story needs a romantic dimension when Iain Glen and Richard Armitage seem to be doing brilliantly without it. However, a romantic dimension is what we’re going to get. Oh well.”
But I was wrong, and I’m so glad I watched anyway. He is no longer just a victim so desperate for affirmation that he subjects himself to domination by his superiors and love interests. It’s a somewhat unexplained change from the other series, but I love it. Becoming head of section D helps set the stage for a more forceful Lucas, and then as he encounters his past, it becomes clear he is becoming a man who has wants as well as needs, and his wants will not be denied. He makes it clear he will not be bullied by Vaughn, and then there’s Maya. He’s bent on getting to her, and nothing is going to stop him. Even when she’s resisting him in his home, he does not give up and then at the end the Alpha emerges to dominate Maya in the most elemental fashion. Maya definitely responded, and I couldn’t help but light up. Any female who is immune to that is either not paying attention or not attracted to men. LOL!
But don’t take my word for it; you can watch for yourself:
In case you need that in slow motion, I have a slideshow as well. Feel free to snaffle any of it.
I also have to give Richard Armitage his due. Some of his lines in the scene with Laila Rouass are hackneyed. C’mon, prison, “a photograph of you,” “all those years trying to forget,” and “I had to see you?” Sounds like a David Allan Coe song. But RA pulls it off! Sorry I couldn’t help the David Allan Coe reference. It was probably brought on by Lucas’ western shirt.
Also, my short hiatus has me really maudlin to the point I feel a fake fan letter coming on.
Dear Richard,
See how easy we women are. We love it when a man exerts his dominance. Not in a brutish way but in a calm, assured way. That’s definitely what Lucas did at the end of Episode 3.
Just get ready for women to swoon over that scene as much (and maybe more) than the ending of North and South, and if you hate that sort of thing, well, I guess you should stop making shows that have those kinds of scenes.
What I love is that no one had to shed their clothes. Yes, I’m a prude. Of course I’ll have to see what happens next week. ;-)
See Diary Part 18 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.
Entry — Fall, 2008
Autumn is finally here in earnest, and its beauty usually makes me pensive. But this year I feel rushed. There is so much I’ve wanted to do, and I’ve done almost nothing. Dad’s gone and Mom’s not in great health, but that doesn’t seem to stop her from talking about England. That’s all she ever talks about, and I know full well the chance we’ll go there is almost nil. She is simply not up to it, and I can’t be gone for another month. The world would stop around here if I were gone for a month as I was last summer. Then again, maybe that would be a good thing. LOL!
I was driving over to see Mimi the other day. I love to drive to Mimi’s. It takes me on one of my favorite routes. The trees are close to the road and seem to glow as if they’re lighting the way to somewhere sublime. I swear they’re backlit by something other than the sun. Even though I love visiting Mimi, I wanted to just sit in the woods. It was a gorgeous day, truly a halcyon day — sunny but cool and barely a cloud in the sky. Just enough clouds to make the sky seem painted. Yeah, sometimes it’s so blue it doesn’t look real. I’m blessed to live here.
But I’m not satisfied. I wonder what that really feels like. Maybe I experienced it when SO and I were coming to know each other or when we had the little SOs. I certainly love them all more than I can express, but feeling satisfied is so fleeting, I’m not sure I’ve experienced it. Maybe it’s not supposed to last long. I don’t know. So much I don’t know, and there’ s not much time to figure it out.
I haven’t watched any Richard Armitage for a couple of weeks, and I’m feeling some withdrawal. That simply can’t happen. It’s an inexpensive thrill for me even if I do have several hundred dollars invested, and I’m going to continue. And whom does it hurt? I watch when I have time! ROFLOL!! Yeah, I’ve made time for it, but I’ve got to have some outlet or I’ll go nuts, and I don’t want to go nuts again. I’d rather re-immerse myself in Robin Hood even though the frustration lingers about its ending and my silly urge to blame someone hasn’t gone away. Dominic Minghella, the chief writer, is apparently the guilty party. Must find out more about him because I need to understand how someone could develop those characters and then use them like that? Or maybe it was just over my head.
I’ve got to put all of that aside. At least long enough to rewatch the show; otherwise, it will be a constant specter, and I’ll never figure out what fascinates me so much about a character who’s a thug, and of course I realize he wants redemption. Redemption stories are almost always powerful, but I’ve never had quite this reaction to such a minor character.
I could dismiss it as mere objectification of Richard Armitage. Damn. No! But oh his movements are beautiful. Even his seemingly languid movements are rife with something begging to be explored. His movements in total are imbued with something I just can’t name. I would love to describe what it is, but words fail. They always fail. I guess I’m lazy. If it’s not easy to say, I drop it and move on. I’ve always had a problem expressing myself about anything that moves me deeply except to sometimes fob it off with a crack. But something truly fitting for what I feel never comes. My words never sound as I want them to sound. They’re prosaic, and I cringe at them.
A few days later:
I started reading Stanislavski. That’s something I’ve wanted to do ever since I was a teen and became fascinated with Brando and James Dean. Richard Armitage reminds me of those two more than any other actors. In my mind he’s those two fused. When I was a kid, Mom referenced the Actors Studio where Brando and Dean studied. She also spoke some of Stella Adler. From there it wasn’t too many steps to pique my interest in Stanislavski. I should have read him years ago. Only a few pages into his book and I was intrigued. He is speaking of things I’ve thought but didn’t feel free to pursue. To pursue them would be playing mind games, but heck, I’ve done that anyway. I wonder how much better I could have expressed myself if I had let my mind unfocus and tap into my subconscious. What I’m loving is that I have finally figured out what Richard Armitage is doing that has sucked me in so thoroughly!
This explains a lot and contains a description of what happens to me when I watch Richard:
The fundamental aim of our art is the creation of this inner life of a human spirit, and its expression in an artistic form… Our experience has led to a firm belief that only our kind of art, soaked as it is in the living experiences of human beings, can artistically reproduce the impalpable shadings and depths of life. Only such art can completely absorb the spectator and make both understand and also inwardly experience the happenings on the stage, enriching his inner life, and leaving impressions which will not fade with time. — Spoken by Director Tortsov from An Actor Prepares
The inner man he’s created, the inner life is playing out, and the truth of it is so beautiful I can’t get enough. There’s a sanity to it that I’ve seldom seen in an actor. Maybe I’ve never seen it.
“Impalpable shadings and depths of life.” What a way to describe it. Perfect really. John Thornton drinking tea at the Hale’s, nodding his head but unable to look at or speak to his mother after his rejection from Margaret, agonizing at the train station before Margaret comes back to him with her portmanteau. John Standring having his mouth full of sausage, being frustrated at his body’s impatience in an intimate moment with Carol, grinning at Carol as he tries on a suit. And Guy. Guy awkwardly holding the Sheriff’s bird, lighting up when he realizes the nun is a fake, looking intently at Marian when he sees she’s not wearing her betrothal ring, beaming when he comes to tell her the king is returning, rushing up like a little boy to her before the wedding. The ring of truth in these moments completely submerges Richard Armitage and the person he’s fashioned is there thinking and feeling and drawing me into his story.
“Will not fade with time.” Certainly I will remember John Thornton’s sweet eyes looking at Margaret as she explains her business proposition or Guy saying to his servant Thornton that the thing is to be understood.
[note: imagine my grin a year later when I read RA’s crack in this article. There will be more about all of this. It’s too much for one post. Oh, and I went on to read more Stanislavski and some Grotowski and Vakhtangov. Phew.]
Sometimes I’m just on, and I can’t be stopped. If I ever let you meet SO, you can ask him if I’m telling you the truth. He has sometimes referred to me as “hell on wheels,” and he means that in a good way — I think. My eyes really are blue, er, I mean green.*
But today, I’m not on, or I would have had the perfect picture before I posted my last entry. HOW COULD I NOT THINK OF THIS PICTURE?!! Before you scroll down to see it, let me just say that I’m rethinking this Union Jack thing. When I look at this picture immediately below, it makes me think of all kinds of possibilities:
I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and that’s why I’m miffed at myself for not thinking of the perfect picture in the last post. Of course, RA would be perfect as Union Jack. Look at the legs on that Union Jack guy, and then of course, we know RA can pull off the “fabric.
The Perfect Picture:
A couple more perfect pictures if you’re not convinced:
The last one is so you can see how good he looks in a mask.
Screencaps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet and my stash.
*major, major bs in this post. This comment is for the action fans. ;-)
So I just created a Facebook page for RAFrenzy. I had sworn off FB and still can barely stand being on it. But I know it’s a necessary component for really making something viral, and I wanted to do my part with the video that a Motion Designer/Video Editor named Sean Pruen recently uploaded to Vimeo. I would have simply embedded it here, but WordPress doesn’t love Vimeo, hence the FB page. For some reason WordPress wouldn’t let me embed it yesterday, so I made the damned FB page. Then I come here this afternoon and realize it was pointless to make that page. I think Facebook is behind this. ;-) But without further berating of FB, here it is:
Now I can go on and on about this on my blog. :D
I love the computer graphic look to this. His head doesn’t quite move like a normal head. Wouldn’t it be something if he were playing a CGI. LOL!! Well, it’s probably altered, but I can see RA playing something like that. He’s that good. Whatever the case, he still looks fine, and if Richard Armitage ever deigns to read all of the crap I’m writing on this blog, I hope he does get that amid all of the bs, I really do admire him as an actor. Making a Facebook page is absolute proof. Sorry, I can’t let it go that I was dumb enough to make up that page.
As if that’s not enough, I’ve been researching comic book heroes. At this point, I’m almost intimately acquainted with the Invaders of Captain America fame and yes, some comic book fanboys on a few sites. I hope SO never finds out. Never mind being jealous; he would never let me live this down.
But I can’t think about all of that now. What I really want to know is if our lovely Richard will be wearing this get up:
It seems a significant number of people in the fandom think that he will. See here and here.
See Diary Part 16 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.
Entry — Very Late Summer, 2008:
I was down at Tammi’s house this afternoon, and she had just come home from “yard saling.” Dangerous words. I no longer go “yard saling.” Trying not to be anywhere near it, but I just had to ask what she bought. “All sorts of things I don’t need,” she said. I hear that. That’s why I don’t go “yard saling” anymore. SO became frustrated with half the garage being filled with crap we don’t need. I know it takes up space, but he just couldn’t get his head around how that was going to help us, how it was being frugal. He advised me, “Well, maybe you should take advantage of that freight sale I read about this morning. An entire boxcar of toothpaste. If you bought it, you could save enough for us to take a nice trip and store the toothpaste in the other half of the garage.”
I still couldn’t help asking to see what Tammi bought. She hauled out a large paper grocery sack full of DVDs. I mean that sucker was stiff it was so full. It’s a miracle the sack didn’t tear. I said, “Wow. How much did you pay for that?”
“It was only $5.” And the ‘only’ was what made it so beautiful. I had to see the rest of it. “I haven’t even looked at them yet,” she said.
“Well, pour it out so we can see what you got!”
After a few minutes of looking at a lot of junk I had never heard of, and that’s saying something for me the movie fiend, I said, “Just another stash that made a stopover at your house on its way to the resale store.” She sighed and was about to bag everything up when I saw something I had dismissed earlier, “WAIT!! Let me see that one again.” She handed me a golden colored case with Cleopatra on the front. I flipped it over and started reading the back. Richard Armitage had been in a production of Cleopatra, but I had no clue which one. Then I remembered it was early on in his career so he probably didn’t have a big part. “Tammi, can I use your laptop?”
She pointed to it, and said, “Feel free, but what’s up with that movie? Who’s in it?”
“Oh, I’m just curious about it. Billy Zane’s in it, and I’m about half fascinated with him. A real nut but still fascinating.”
I logged on and got to IMDb. JACKPOT! Yep, it was the one with Richard Armitage! I couldn’t even wait to get home to watch, so I popped it in her player to take a looksee. I told her we didn’t have to watch the whole thing since it’s three hours long. Neither one of us had that kind of time.
Cleopatra was played by someone I had never heard of. Oh, she was beautiful. Aren’t they all? But I was struggling to get past her Latin American accent. That, and the fact she could not act. Sad really. Then poor Timothy Dalton being relegated to this pitiful piece. But I started mentally cataloging his movies, and actually, I couldn’t remember any memorable one’s he’d been in except for maybe James Bond, and his Bond was not the most memorable. Oh, but his voice is beautiful. Not enough. You gotta have something to say and have that quality that I can’t define which pulls me into a piece. He doesn’t really have it. Maybe he should be grateful to get some work? Whatever, I wanted to see Richard Armitage and was so afraid he would be in a costume that disguised him, and it would be a repeat of the Naboo fighter pilot debacle.
Tammi kept urging me to fast forward (as I had commandeered the remote when we first sat down). I wanted to fast forward but was afraid I would miss Richard Armitage! Billy Zane FINALLY came on screen after about 45 minutes. Billy was not memorable either, so we decided to just watch a few scenes and then put the thing away. I knew I could really watch it at home! I selected the death of Caesar, and that’s when it happened! I saw Richard Armitage! Well, I wasn’t sure if it was him at the time, because if I had blinked, I would have missed him. At the beginning of the scene, he’s walking down some stairs with Octavius and another guy. Good thing Tammi has a large screen high def tv! Tammi was groaning about this time, but I could not look away. It soon cut to the death scene, and that is when we both lost it. ROFLOL!!! LOL!!! I mean I nearly wet my pants. Did this movie have anyone who understood props or action scenes? ROFLOL!!! Timothy Dalton looks normal at the beginning of the scene, and then he crosses behind a pillar or something and gains about 50 pounds. We could literally see the padding, which probably contained “blood pockets,” under his toga. ROFLOL!! As he fought off his attackers, the square padding was so evident, that… ROFLOL!! I can barely write this. It was sad. LOL!! Man, that high def is hell.
[note: RA at :0.1 to :01 and then again at :12 to :20]
While I was watching, it occurred to me that Richard Armitage has to laugh at this movie too. He has to if he’s the smart guy I think he is. I’ll bet he learned a ton about how a movie should not be made. Of course he could have been taking notes on Billy’s eyeliner. Wonder if he was standing around when the funeral speech was made. Even Billy himself seemed to be saying, “Do I really have to say this crap?”
When I got home, I was able to finally see the other scenes with Richard, but that was no mean feat. I had to watch the whole movie to do it. If he knew, he would realize that makes me a great admirer. This is a truly awful, awful movie. I would put it in the “so bad it’s good” category, but I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t watched the whole thing which I never would have done without the chance of seeing Richard even if only a few seconds. Thankfully, those were not wasted. God Bless Him he still gets completely into his part even though he’s only a prop. I noticed at the end of this scene (clip below) where he appears for about three seconds and is obviously an underling of Octavius, that he engages his eyes and head to really get the point across. It was such a contrast to the other minion who just stands there like cardboard. No cardboard for Richard. I think I really have gone nuts to repeatedly examine a piece of film that’s no longer than 3 seconds.
[note: RA at 2:48-2:50]
And then there was fighting and gore, and Richard in the middle of it. I’m tired now, so I’m not quite up to scrutinizing this part (clip below) so much yet. Maybe that’s a healthy sign?
[note: RA beginning at :06 off and on until about 1:17]
But I was glad SO watched this with me later, and it reminded him of the good times we had laughing at ‘Tough Guys Don’t Dance.’ Another one “so bad it’s good.” He didn’t even mind that I brought home a yard sale item, but then he thinks it’s a loan from Tammi.
See Diary Part 15 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.
Entry — a couple of years ago minus a few months, a couple of days and maybe two weeks:
It seems I can’t easily get my hands on Between the Sheets. I would have to order another DVD. So I watched a couple of AlisaGB’s clips on YouTube. Once again Richard Armitage is completely unlike any of his other characters. Cloris Leachman came to mind. Maybe it was Paul’s whine. And I’m not keen on him with brown hair, and especially with that catch me/do me cowlick preceding him like an ugly prow. That whine really did get on my nerves, but it’s the whine and his helpless demeanor that makes me curious about this part. I don’t want to mess with this right now. The show just didn’t look very appealing, and the wife? I can’t stand her ’cause she whines too and she’s pushy with it. Could she be more one-dimensional and unappealing? But then this is only an excerpt.
As much as I like Richard Armitage, this might be the first thing I don’t like, and I hate the title. It was enough to sort of turn me off. If anyone else were in this, I wouldn’t bother. Titles like that say no one cares enough to go beyond the prosaic. But then Richard Armitage is in it, so it can’t be that prosaic can it? Maybe it means something else. It was one of his earlier works, but I think it’s after North and South. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll love this. My gut says no, but my gut has said no every time. To a show, I’ve resisted everything of his that I’ve watched except maybe George Gently. Even now looking at the North and South DVD case, there is nothing to recommend it. It’s drab and sounds like a cheap version of the better period dramas, and I absolutely hate that picture of him. That may be the worst picture of him I’ve ever seen. He’s pasty looking and dull. Did someone who doesn’t like him design the cover? It is atrocious. It’s amazing that what looks like something out of a sale bin at WalMart would have led me to spend this much time and money.
SO now asks me periodically what I’m doing, and then looks at me intently. The quiet look on his face is heart wrenching, but I can’t explain! I keep waiting for him to ask me why we have a multi-region DVD player. But he knows the question is already hanging between us. I don’t want to answer because I don’t understand why I bought one. I can’t articulate it, and I don’t want to articulate it. All I know is that I feel like I’ve stepped into something and can’t get loose and don’t want to.
When I was four almost five and couldn’t swim, I jumped into a swimming pool. I remember the sun shining on the water, and the marine color looked like I belonged there. It was awkward to stand on the edge just looking at it. The water bubbling in front of my eyes blinded me as I went in, but it felt so soft and good to slip down in it. I began to feel the water in my nose and wanted to let myself slip further. Then there was a huge woosh behind me and a vise around me, and dad was pulling me to the surface. I don’t remember panicking or crying, and I knew I wanted down in that water again.
[note: The Armitage Army site has closed since I wrote this piece, and I have written even more about the Army and have come to think it’s an interesting phenomenon.]
I’ve talked about web alerts a couple of times now, so I figured what the heck I would go ahead and just talk about the elephant in the room. The one whom I smell anyway, because frankly, I can’t see him. But his smell sometimes is overwhelming.
When someone puts ‘Richard Armitage’ somewhere on a web page, the page/site automatically gets an instant boost on its hit count. Yes, yes, I already said this, but obviously, I’m saying it again. Now you would think that everyone would love getting a boost in their hit count, but I guess there are some who don’t like it. They want to be loved for themselves dammit and not because some actor in England whom few have seen is on their page! And yes, they think we’re all nuts. Then there are the “professionals” who definitely think we’re all nuts if their questions to RA are any indication.
Some of you have suggested to me that I don’t like the Armitage Army question because it makes me feel bad about myself or about the fandom. Actually, the question really is boring to me unless RA has a funny answer and is not bugged by it. I long ago gave up feeling funny about being a fanatic. You’ll see from my coming diary entries that I abandon any sense of propriety about this business except I draw the line at sending my underwear to him. The ONLY reason I’m anonymous really is because of my family. They are not quite ready for me to make a public fool of myself. Those are their words and not mine. I do not feel a fool, but out of respect for them, I’m behind this facade.
And speaking of facades (no, I have never in my life started so many sentences with ‘and’; it is liberating!), there are ways to keep yourself from being seen when you look at these alerts. Mostly I remain unseen. Oh, I’m seen some (when I know I’m among friends), but most of the time (when it’s some obscure site or a professional’s site), I am in stealth mode. It’s not because I’m ashamed but because there is something about those counters and the collection of their key words that just pisses me off. LOL! See I told you this blog might prove I’m insane, insane like a fox. You can’t be a techie for years and just lie down and submit to being counted. It doesn’t work that way. If I were really crazy, I wouldn’t even be talking about this. Would I? ;-)
Okay, okay, I know there are the clearinghouse sites such as RichardArmitageNet or RichardArmitageOnline or RichardArmitageCentral or The Armitage Army that do a lot of trolling on the web, but people, they are providing a wonderful service so they’re justified, and when they go somewhere, they only account for one hit. The rest of us are the mob. Why aren’t we satisfied with just waiting for what those sites can provide? Oh, you do rely completely on them for your information? Well, I’m not talking to you. :D As much as I love those sites, and I’ll continue to give them love in this blog, I’m not satisfied because, well, that’s just me. I’m impatient. Very impatient. Always have been about some things. How do you think I was able to retire so young? Not by being patient. Really, I blame it on my ADHD. You think being a kid and having that is rough? Try being an adult!* But I digress, and really if I didn’t, this blog would not exist!
So where does that leave all of us who like to troll the web for junk about Richard Armitage? I hope that someone, somewhere really is monitoring the increased web activity about him. We really aren’t nuts, and it only takes one or maybe two viewings of North and South or Sparkhouse or even Robin Hood (well, his parts anyway) to vindicate all of us!
Screencap of RA in Star Wars courtesy of Ruth at BookTalk &More. By the way, that’s just a great blog. Forget RA; it’s a great blog. Oh, and are we sure that guy on the left is RA? The one in the upper right hand corner kind of looks like him too. Or maybe that guy is one of us?
*I’m really not making fun of people who have ADHD. I do have it, and thankfully, I know it now. Wish I had known sooner. Before everyone just thought I was bi-polar. It’s truly a miracle I got through school much less had successful jobs without understanding what was wrong with me. Yeah, I know it’s the diagnosis du jour, and honestly, I thought it was a load of crap. But it explains a lot about me. I’m textbook even down to being misdiagnosed as bi-polar.
edit: I should amend this to say that not everyone thought I was bi-polar. I’ve spent most of my life trying to cover up my erratic behavior and doing such a good job of it that people other than my immediate family thought I was extremely sane. God Bless SO. He’s a strong man and never boring. He actually doesn’t care if I’m anonymous or not. He thinks this is funny as hell (well, the things I’ve let him read ;-)). It’s the “little” SOs who would have a hard time with it. That, and I would never do anything to make SO look bad. I surely hope he doesn’t look bad so far!
See Diary Part 13 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.
Entry — a couple of years ago (2008) minus a few months:
I’m now the proud owner of a multi-region DVD player. $89 and a little shipping, and it’s sitting in the entertainment cabinet. And why? Because I wanted to watch something else with Richard Armitage and it wouldn’t play on a Region 1 DVD player. I tried to get it some other way, but noooo, it wasn’t available. Did that stop me? Certainly not. I got so excited I ordered it before I left mom’s house and it beat me home. Not a good move as it only created a lot of curiosity in the house. We already have a DVD player. Why didn’t I just hack the damn thing? So that makes a grand total of at least 300 bucks I’ve spent on Richard Armitage, and no one’s ever heard of him! Well, a few people on YouTube and IMDb and yeah, some people in England.
That night:
SO and the little SOs are gone for the evening. I’m so past them watching anything with Richard Armitage. I could care less if they watch him, but I’m ready to watch “Sparkhouse.” Part of me cannot believe I’m doing this. I really did hate Wuthering Heights. Plus, SO made a joke about me watching. Of course it’s a joke. Everything’s a joke, and I always laugh. I can’t help it. He’s funny. Then there’s his obsession with changing up names. So Richard Armitage got a new one. The day SO says Richard Armitage’s name correctly will be the day I probably need to quit watching his stuff. But for now SO made another crack as he was going out the door, “I hope you and Mr. Embouchure have a good time.” Oh we will. I think. Not sure. But with $89+shipping and $30+shipping for the video, it better be worth it. That makes over a 100 bucks to watch the guy in one movie. No matter how much I like Mr. Embouchure, that’s an expensive night at the movies. I salve my conscience with the fact I’ve rarely bought anything for myself — at least in the last several years.
A few hours later:
WHO is this guy?! Ewan MacGregor has a chameleon quality, and yeah, Russell Crowe can change himself quite a bit. But sometimes I can’t forget who they are. I didn’t even recognize Richard Armitage as the same actor. I knew going into this he was going to be different. I kept hearing on IMDb that this character looked almost nothing like him. But I still wasn’t prepared. I saw John Standring, and there was no thought of anyone else even after his transformation. Armitage becomes his characters more than any actor I’ve ever seen. Can I really make that grandiose statement about some obscure actor from England? But John Thornton was a force to be reckoned with. After watching him, I didn’t think Richard Armitage could be someone else so completely. Then he was Harry, and John Thornton was not even a thought in my head while I was watching him. Of course there was Guy, who was also a force and brooded so beautifully, but it wasn’t John Thornton’s brooding, and now another John, who really is another John and not just John Thornton with shaggy hair and dowdy clothes. Even after his haircut and change of clothes, the man, John Standring was still there only better looking. Wow. Why is this guy almost completely unknown? Is there that much of a barrier between here and England?
I wish SO would watch something more than Vicar of Dibley. That didn’t have nearly enough Richard Armitage to show his abilities. SO loves characters and stories so much he would love the acting this guy does. But he’s consigned Richard Armitage to nothing more than a Brad Pitt type of fascination for me. He’s so wrong. Brad Pitt never made me feel I’d been sucked into a black hole. Daniel Day-Lewis came close playing Gerry Conlon, but nothing like this.
John Standring has made this more than just a passing phase.
RAFrenzy 
