Sometimes I Still Stop

And ask myself what am I doing?! I’ve now written almost 300 posts and published over 170. And most of that is about someone I don’t know and never will. Yes, I feel like a fool sometimes, but what alleviates my conscience is that I’m having such a good time writing. Oh, I know this blog is more than half bullshit, but it’s kept my hand in the writing, and I really do spend time writing other things, which has me asking another question even more frequently: why, why, why was I not writing sooner? Some of the answer is in my diary entries, but I’m not going to tell you everything because I do have to protect the guilty, and, I’m afraid the other stuff would bore the socks off of you.

Or maybe that’s me projecting on you how I feel. I can get bored very quickly, and it’s shocking that I’m still with this blog. I figured this was going to be a one note song — this talking about Richard Armitage all the time, but I never knew something seemingly one-dimensional could be this much fun. NO! I don’t mean Richard Armitage. Apparently he’s not one-dimensional or he wouldn’t have attracted so many interesting fans. Did I just compliment myself as well as all of you? Yeah, I think I did. Whatever, this is fun and you all are fun, and I thank you for giving me so much pleasure. Oh, and thanks to RA too. :D

I need a picture badly.

I honestly don’t know where this picture came from, but it’s too good not to use. I realize it came from the Children in Need clips; just not sure who made it. Whatever, looking at that makes it clear why I keep blogging. Of course, it’s not just how he looks, but that doesn’t hurt. Phew, that stance definitely demands a cold bucket of water on our collective heads. And if People Magazine doesn’t get with it in the next year or two, I may never read that rag again.

At least others get it.

Picture courtesy of Karima. Thank you, Karima! :D

November 21, 2010
Categories: PHWOAR!, Robin Hood . Tags: , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 48 Comments

Diary of an RA Fan — Part 16 The Third One*

See Diary Part 15 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — a couple of years ago minus a few months, a couple of days and maybe two weeks:

It seems I can’t easily get my hands on Between the Sheets. I would have to order another DVD. So I watched a couple of AlisaGB’s clips on YouTube. Once again Richard Armitage is completely unlike any of his other characters. Cloris Leachman came to mind. Maybe it was Paul’s whine. And I’m not keen on him with brown hair, and especially with that catch me/do me cowlick preceding him like an ugly prow. That whine really did get on my nerves, but it’s the whine and his helpless demeanor that makes me curious about this part. I don’t want to mess with this right now. The show just didn’t look very appealing, and the wife? I can’t stand her ’cause she whines too and she’s pushy with it. Could she be more one-dimensional and unappealing? But then this is only an excerpt.

As much as I like Richard Armitage, this might be the first thing I don’t like, and I hate the title. It was enough to sort of turn me off. If anyone else were in this, I wouldn’t bother. Titles like that say no one cares enough to go beyond the prosaic. But then Richard Armitage is in it, so it can’t be that prosaic can it? Maybe it means something else. It was one of his earlier works, but I think it’s after North and South. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll love this. My gut says no, but my gut has said no every time. To a show, I’ve resisted everything of his that I’ve watched except maybe George Gently. Even now looking at the North and South DVD case, there is nothing to recommend it. It’s drab and sounds like a cheap version of the better period dramas, and I absolutely hate that picture of him. That may be the worst picture of him I’ve ever seen. He’s pasty looking and dull. Did someone who doesn’t like him design the cover? It is atrocious. It’s amazing that what looks like something out of a sale bin at WalMart would have led me to spend this much time and money.

SO now asks me periodically what I’m doing, and then looks at me intently. The quiet look on his face is heart wrenching, but I can’t explain! I keep waiting for him to ask me why we have a multi-region DVD player. But he knows the question is already hanging between us. I don’t want to answer because I don’t understand why I bought one. I can’t articulate it, and I don’t want to articulate it. All I know is that I feel like I’ve stepped into something and can’t get loose and don’t want to.

When I was four almost five and couldn’t swim, I jumped into a swimming pool. I remember the sun shining on the water, and the marine color looked like I belonged there. It was awkward to stand on the edge just looking at it. The water bubbling in front of my eyes blinded me as I went in, but it felt so soft and good to slip down in it. I began to feel the water in my nose and wanted to let myself slip further. Then there was a huge woosh behind me and a vise around me, and dad was pulling me to the surface. I don’t remember panicking or crying, and I knew I wanted down in that water again.

*Yannis Kitsos

See Diary Part 17 here.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

July 7, 2010
Categories: SO . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 15 Comments

Forgetting Guy — Spoilers

Last year at this time it was days after Guy’s death, and I could still feel tears welling up in my eyes when I thought of it and would shake my head at the absurdity of grieving the death of a fictional character. Just now I felt them start again. Amazing.

Certainly I’ve read books and watched movies that had tragedy and loss and was profoundly moved by the events to the point I shed tears as I was reading or watching. Sometimes I’ve thought about the events for days or weeks later and in some cases months or years later. But my later thinking has always had more to do with intrigue about the human condition and certainly examining it in a kind of detached way. This wasn’t the case with Guy. With him it was personal and a grieving process, and it stunned me. I’ve had to grieve lots of deaths but never someone who’s not real. Honestly, this made me think I really was going nuts, and so my analytical side stepped up to ask why and try to make sense of it and preserve my dignity.

I’ve had a year to think about it, and I’m not sure I’ve completely made sense of it. But I understand much better what’s happened. I’ll be posting more diary entries about this process, and perhaps I’ll find I have CWS. But if I do, it’s not of Richard Armitage but rather this fantastic character he helped to create.

Now you know the real reason I’m anonymous. LOL!

When I was drafting my first post for this blog, I thought about hitting this subject right up front but knew it would not be as satisfying (at least for me) to go right to the issue I’ve wanted most to address. I really did want to have some fun along the way in my self-analysis. Could I have bored you with all sorts of psychoanalytical terms? Oh yeah, I could have. Believe me I know enough of them after up close and personal acquaintance with some psychiatrists. But you don’t want to hear all of that shit, and I really don’t want to type it.

Screencap courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.Com

June 29, 2010
Categories: Robin Hood, Spoilers . Tags: , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 8 Comments

Ahem

June 21, 2010

Well, I’ve pondered the weekend activities, which consisted of reading some non-graphic real fic about Richard Armitage, and have decided that yes, I am a bit uncomfortable with examining Richard Armitage quite so much when it’s not obviously humorous hence my post of yesterday. I guess that’s the reason I put up that post. Whether any of you were uncomfortable with the real fic, I was. I would hate it if someone examined me that closely, and sadly, some people have tried. But I will not be examined like that unless I deign to drop my proverbial pants and bend over, which I probably am not going to do in this lifetime. And I’m not sure Rich’s real pants dropping qualifies as an invitation to exam him with such scrutiny, and even if I could rationalize that it does, I don’t want to take him up on it. Sometimes people think they want to almost completely expose themselves in the quest to be understood, but really, that’s not the best way, so I won’t be going down that path in trying to understand Richard Armitage, or candidly, I’ll try not to go there.

Oh, hey, I’ve probably had all kinds of thoughts about him like I read this weekend and more besides, but I’m not so sure I want to go there so deeply with this blog. Go there? Yes, I will go there, but not smacking quite so much of reality. This is supposed to be fluff with only a little serious thrown in. I keep telling myself it’s only fluff with a little serious thrown in. Check. I think I’ve got it.

So I might touch on some serious things here, but I spend plenty of time examining serious things to the nth degree in my real life (I don’t like that term “real life” because I consider messing about on the internet as part of my real life. I haven’t quite compartmentalized it to the point I can call it an alternate reality, not seriously anyway. I’ve got to change “real life” to something else; hmmm. “offline life”? no, that sounds dead, and that life is teeming with so many wonderful and yes, sometimes terrible things that would never allow it to be called dead. I will have to think about a good term since I just don’t have one this morning. My clever machine is on the fritz right now. I’ve been reading too much German, which is quite a feat since I don’t really understand much of it. Is there any wonder why my brain is fried? And isn’t this a helluva parenthetical statement? I’ve just placed it here to see how long I could make it. Of course I’m doing it for that reason), I don’t need to do that here. Having given you this sort of diatribe, I’d like to go back to my insane self even though it’s not an alternate reality. I really am partially insane in my “real life.” Besides, the insane me is much more fun. Trust me it’s more fun.

Before I get off of this, I have to say: People, you are nosey! I put up an article about RA, in the comments section no less, and my hit count goes nuts. Yes, I know it’s due to the article. I can see what you’re doing. MUHAHAHAHA. No, I can’t see that much of what you’re doing only some keys you might hit. Yes, I’m nosey too — mostly about this RA thing — and it’s such a puzzle to me. I ask myself why a lot, and I have no good answer except that shallowly, yes, I’m shallow, very shallow at times I’m afraid, I like looking at those pictures of RA in his articles, and like the rest of the drooling masses who hang on his words, I want to hear what he thinks.

This is what confounds me, and yes, it’s one of the big reasons I’m anonymous. It’s embarrassing for someone as circumspect as I am. I’m dripping with circumspection, and for most of my life, I haven’t given a rat’s ass about what a celebrity/actor thought. Not even John Lennon. Well maybe a little and maybe I did care a little about what Kurt Cobain thought and sometimes what Daniel Day-Lewis thought and yes, a little bit of Kevin Spacey. But with John Lennon I heard so much about what he thought that I didn’t have a chance to get curious. Oh, well, I’ll never know now, and truthfully, although I love biographies and absolutely love to hear what people think and why, I guess I’ve consigned most (not all but most) actors to the stupid file so they rarely merit much attention beyond their performances. I have done this because most of the time they say stupid things to the public, and no, I don’t think RA is stupid. For cryin’ out loud, isn’t it apparent from this blog that I don’t think that? If not, then I really am a horrible writer.

Certainly, I am curious about what he is going to do next in terms of roles and even more what makes him choose those roles. See I can’t help it. He really does fascinate me and especially his chameleon quality. He’s kind of a male Meryl Streep only better looking and certainly sexier because I have never been attracted to Meryl Streep. Oh, I love her as an actress and think she is the best female actor (no question in my mind about that!), but she’s not my type.

Note:

After successively posting two pieces alternating between bravado and self-consciousness (on several levels), I need a damn good picture, but I’m not sure which one would be better than in yesterday’s post or even equal it. That is still my favorite RA picture. PHWOAR! Can any top it?

Need to get back to my Diary because I really do think it will help me figure out what the hell has happened to me, and no, I don’t consider it dropping my pants. Hey, my fascination with Richard Armitage is just a small portion of my messed up thinking. Did I just admit it’s messed up thinking to be this fascinated with a celebrity? ;-)

June 21, 2010
Categories: Fandom, PHWOAR! . Tags: , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 11 Comments

Diary of an RA Fan — Part 13 Now What?

See Diary Part 12 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — a couple of years ago shy a couple of months and a few days:

I’m over being hacked at the ending of Robin Hood Season 2. Well, I think I am. But if I ponder it long enough, I get irritated again. I just need something really good to watch, and I’m mad at myself for caring so much about something as lame as Robin Hood, which I didn’t even like to begin with! I just want to get lost in a character. I need to get lost in a really good story, but I’m too numb to read. Need something passive.

Right now I get up early in the morning, fix Mom and myself some coffee and toast or whatever she is able to eat, and then we head out for the bowels of the hospital. Usually we get there by 7:45am, and she is prepped for her radiation treatment by 8:00am. All told we’re there about an hour and a half each weekday morning. This is our third week of six weeks, and I feel that I’m getting to really know some of the people who come in for treatments. It’s a wonderful and terrible experience. I have never been a great crier, but I’ve had to forestall tears on several occasions. One day last week I couldn’t keep from it and had to retreat to a restroom to sob when a young child was wheeled in. The mother of the child was in a daze. The child is terminal and yet they are giving treatment to ease some pain. I have nothing to say. I can only cry.

The upside is that I have now spent a month of uninterrupted time with Mom, and that has not happened since I was a kid living at home. We have laughed and cried and made big plans. She’s dreaming of the day we can travel together. She wants to go to England and has begged me to go with her. I don’t know if I can do that, but I dare not tell her. I can’t ruin the dream. It’s something for her to hang onto. I did tell her that if she were feeling better in a year, we would do it! Not sure how I’m going to pull that off. But she got carried away after we watched North and South, and I got caught up in it and said, “We can be like Val and Gil in ‘The World of Henry Orient’ and stalk Richard Armitage!” She belly laughed and said she would be sure to wear one of her capes, and take a good collection of her hats or acquire more there. I would love it if I could arrange for her to meet him. She would be like a kid about that and get so much out of it. But really, he would love meeting her!

I was dreading this trip, but the truth is I love reverting to childhood with Mom. She was always able to be a child with me to the point of lying in the floor and coloring with me when I was little. She sang songs with me and had the uncanny ability to know the lyrics to every song whether old or new. Then there were the “shows” we put on. I remember one summer she had all the neighborhood kids in a backyard show that ran once a week for almost the whole summer. To cap it off Mom made the best treats. People loved coming to the “shows” just to consume her latest creation. And the costumes! which she made on a treadle sewing machine. Oh, there was nothing she couldn’t do. Truly an amazing person. I’m blessed.

And her dramatic flair that parenthood was never going to dim. A country could never contain her much less a mere room. My flair on the other hand was not nearly as pronounced, and I did let parenthood and life in general almost snuff it out! This time with her is reviving that and SO considers it an answer to his prayers. He had been mourning the loss of it and blaming himself. It wasn’t him. It was me. I put too much on myself. I’ve always put too much on myself because I’ve given myself too much credit for how things go down. I’m not that in control — only of my reactions. I’ve just deceived myself into thinking I am and let my joy be completely taken by the cares of the world. But I don’t want to come to the end and realize I have not let myself really live.

For now Mom and I are loving this time of watching movies together, and she is such a fiend for drama that it’s a joy to watch her in her element. It’s no wonder she loved being a trial lawyer. That’s half the job — the dramatics. How many conversations in my lifetime have we had about dramatics — the pacing of a movie, dialogue, camera angles, close-ups, an actor’s diction and demeanor? I have no clue. It’s been a blast to revisit that, and North and South is perfect for mining details. It really is a little gem of a piece.

In a few weeks I have to go back to my reality, to SO and the little SOs. Hopefully, it won’t be that dismal world I’d created for myself, and maybe Mom and I will make it to England.

edit: a little taste of ‘Henry Orient’

See Diary Part 14 here.

Screencaps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com and my stash.

June 17, 2010
Categories: North and South, Robin Hood . Tags: , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 14 Comments

Two Months of Insanity?

I have a confession to make. This blog was my bright idea to burn myself out on all things RA. I wanted to have fun while I was doing that and hoped all of you would have fun as well. But I was pretty sure I wouldn’t want to do this after a few weeks and figured when I got into my third month, it would begin to lose its appeal. Usually things begin to bore me pretty quickly, and I detest being bored. I refuse to be bored. But there’s no sign of that for me. That’s one of the things that’s fascinating about RA. He has never bored me. But then he’s not all there is to this.

Thankfully, all of you, the fans, come with him, and you also keep me plugged into this wonderful madness. I know we’ve had fun fangurling for a few days, and hopefully, we’ll all do that again sometime. But if that’s all we ever did, I would have been gone a long time ago, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have started a blog. Maybe all fandoms (hate that word by the way; can we come up with another one?) are as interesting as this one. I’m having a hard time believing that. Do I sound proud?

Earlier I read a comment about aversion therapy on Servetus’ blog and had to chuckle. What started out as a little aversion therapy for me has turned into immersion therapy. How could it be aversion therapy? I was the kid at school who would have rather been beaten with a big stick than write something. Give me a page of math problems any day over writing even a couple of paragraphs. Once I started writing the blog, I knew I would have to keep it up a bit, which of course meant writing. I figured that alone would turn me off. But now I look forward to writing. I can’t wait to get at it, and the ideas just won’t stop. Don’t worry. I’m not going to bore you with everything I’ve written or plan to write. But this exercise has served to really get me writing, which SO has literally begged me to do for years and may come to regret. LOL!

For now I’ve decided this blog is one of the sanest things I’ve ever done.

Richard Armitage attends the Philips British Academy Television Awards (BAFTA) at London Palladium on June 6, 2010 in London, England.

Yeah, I sort of know how you feel, Rich.

Candid shot courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

June 8, 2010
Categories: Fandom, SO . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 7 Comments

Being Richard

June 3, 2010

My friend Servetus recently made a post that is of such interest to me. I’m anxious to hear the rest of her thoughts on the subject of identity and how it’s derived by us or others who observe us. And yes, I’ll revisit Diderot. Actually, I should probably just consult SO, since that’s his bailiwick — having majored in philosophy and psychology and being a writer. Yes, someone actually majors in that stuff and isn’t a basket case and goes onto make a decent living. Usually doing other things. LOL!

But back to Servetus’ subject. Really, aren’t we all fascinated with this subject of identity? Whether we step outside of it to try to examine it objectively, we’re all caught up in identity. One thing that drives RA’s fans, in my not so humble opinion, is how his various performances either confirm who we are, challenge us to become someone else or pique us to investigate all these other identities he’s created in order to understand something about people. It was never more apparent than in this need of his most ardent fans to find more meaning in John Porter than him being an action hero, and RA understood this too.

Ultimately, all of this leads us to wonder about the person playing all of these identities. Or maybe not. Maybe Servetus and I and a handful of others are the only ones who come to that conclusion. The rest of you are just along for RA’s performances, and then you go on about your business. Pardon me while I snort in doubt over that. LOL! You’re reading my blog aren’t you. ;-)

If these points are sounding like the reaction you have to books, well, there’s a little insight into one of the secrets of RA’s attraction. More on that in a later post. And if I’m not entirely clear, trust me, I’ll be happy to elaborate in another post.

I feel the urge to share what I’m listening to: Voodoo by Spice Girls. And my mood: flippant of course.

Maybe actors discuss this issue a lot. I’m no expert on actors or the acting profession, so I don’t know. I would love to know if they do. Identities seem to be their currency. It would seem if they are intelligent at all they would come to this subject often. I know on this piddly blog I sometimes wonder how some of my statements make you think about yourself.

Phew, after all of that, I need a picture.

Screencap courtesy of Arianne on LJ.

edit:

Oh, and any examination of Richard personally is not about his girlfriend. Now that I have this blog, I see how many searches are done on that. Actually, I put that as a tag in a post just to see what would happen. Oh my goodness.

note: if you’re looking for an interview with Richard Armitage when he was still working on Spooks and shooting Robin Hood Series 3, go here.

June 3, 2010
Categories: Fandom, SO . Tags: , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 23 Comments

RAFrenzy — Richard Armitage Addiction

I can finally admit I am an RA Addict, and I have created this place for me and my fellow “sufferers.”

If you are reading this, I suspect you are thinking  I am a nut or you totally get it because you are a nut too.

If you are not like me, you might want to move on to spare yourself the head shaking and misplaced pity.

If you are like I am, you have never been afflicted with anything remotely like being a fan of the actor Richard Armitage (not to ever be confused with this guy). You have never been a fangirl of anyone and barely knew there was the word  “fangirl.”   But lately you are becoming self-conscious about this obsession and cannot stop wondering if you really have gone nuts.  If you are also like me, you say to yourself, “If I have, can I become more insane, please?” LOL!

Am I serious?  I hope not, but then I’m not sure.  This exercise may prove I really am insane.

Stay tuned for when I take rationalizing to new heights.

Also, please bear with me as I muddle around WordPress to figure out the bells and whistles.  So far I only have a few bells and definitely no whistles.  That may change daily.

edit: I have been at this for two and a half years, and if you’re shocked anyone could talk about Richard Armitage (a still fairly unknown actor) that much, I think you’re normal. I’m shocked too. :D But psssst, I’m not the only one who does this. Check out the ‘Addict List’.

April 5, 2010
Categories: Fandom . Tags: , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 14 Comments

« Previous Page Next page