Diary of an RA Fan — Part 28 Battling the Free Fall

See Diary Part 27 here, or to access all entries, hit “The Diary” tab above.

Entry — a few weeks later, November 2008:

All of this reflection is wearing me out. I knew instinctively why I didn’t ever want to write my thoughts. But SO said I would benefit?! Oh yeah, I can see that. What was the point again? To wallow in all the things that dissatisfy me? A few weeks ago I did think it was a good thing. Now I’ll have to eventually burn this so the kids won’t see it. And I had thought this might be something for them. LOL! No way in hell.

Later:

I’m still watching Spooks. Five shows in, and this last was one of the best. Richard Armitage, you are something else. And I just thought you couldn’t top your sexiness as Guy of Gisborne. Wrong. Still so sexy while in all that lovely turmoil. Oh, that turmoil looked that good. I’m also still trying to figure out how you can look so weak and yet masculine at the same time.


Still amazed that no one I know has ever heard of him! No, I’m wrong. Pat had heard of him. She immediately responded when I put the Guy video on my Facebook wall, but then she asked me not to talk about it on FB. What is she so afraid of? Tammi just laughed when I put up the video. She’s just like SO who laughs at most things. But the truth is she thinks I’m nuts and frequently, gently tells me I’m having a little mid-life breakdown. I don’t appear to listen, but I think she’s right. I sound like an idiot, and my mind is kicked into overdrive, and that’s saying something since I’ve always had difficulty falling asleep because my mind WILL NOT SLOW DOWN! The doctors keep trying to hang me with bi-polar, but I refuse to accept it. If they were ever successful in labeling me, it would be a bit of hell to ever again be taken seriously. But something is wrong, and I can’t ignore the fact there are several in my family who are diagnosed with it.

Mom has never been diagnosed, but if she’s not bi-polar, I’m wondering what makes her so “eccentric.” Oh heck, she’s classic. Super, super highs and then terrible, terrible lows. Last summer she was too sick to be anything but a nice, steady calm, and it allowed me to con myself into believing some fantasy about how she is. Usually she is such a roller coaster ride, I don’t think I was bored once as a child. There was a buzz always permeating the house. I used to drown it out with tv. Mom used something else to make it stop.

What was I thinking to get excited about a long trip with her to a place far, faraway. Auntie Mame on the set of Spooks? I need to be afraid, and I would be, but I really do want to go to England, and I swear it has nothing to do with Richard Armitage. I want to see all of the “family” places Mom wants to show me. Yeah, I’m itching to hear about Great Grandfather Abraham and all he achieved. Somehow that will edify.

But I’m not going to stop with this Richard Armitage thing; it soothes me. I’m going to keep at it. And I think I’m over my concern about objectifying him too much ’cause I know I am objectifying him — some. When I think of really objectifying a man, I don’t think of someone like him. I think of someone like Hrithik Roshan. He is an object waiting happen. No, even him I can’t fully objectify. I saw an interview, and he was so earnest about making it as a serious actor that my heart went out to him. He is beautiful, and I’m sure no one can get around that in his presence, but how do you make it as a serious actor when you look like that?! I hope he’s successful. What am I saying? I don’t even know these people, but it’s much easier for me to say something like that than to examine what I want.

I watched Dhoom2 again the other night. What a crazy movie. The old phrase about a kaleidoscope is apt. And as with everything else, it piqued my curiosity. I’m now intensely wondering what the Indian people are really like.

Present day:

I have come to really appreciate Hrithik Roshan but have to admit his extreme good looks did make me assume something about him that was unfair. More on this in another post.

RA screencaps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

Hrithik Roshan screencap is mine.

January 28, 2012
Categories: SO, Spooks . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 18 Comments

Speaking of Progress

Four years ago right about now I discovered Richard Armitage. Those who know the story, I’ll spare you a repeat. Those who don’t, you can read it here. From almost the beginning, I had such hopes he would again find a vehicle worthy of his abilities as he did in ‘North and South.’ But no matter his roles, he has often transcended the script — even when it was almost non-existent — making it abundantly clear he puts (if not his all) a great deal of himself into his performances. That almost child-like willingness to throw himself into his characters, into their stories, and his obvious satisfaction in doing so, has been as much a source of pleasure as his acting ability, and it has inspired me personally.

Richard Armitage has been a catalyst for something that had lain dormant. When I was a kid, no one could put my imagination in check, and my creativity spilled out everywhere I went and was often remarked and praised by others. Then I became sensible and pragmatic and lost something precious. I’m writing the story of how this happened. But! it will be fiction since I’ve discovered the joys of playing God. :D


[click to enlarge; yes, it’s even bigger than this]

Candid photo snaffled from Karima, and what excellent quality for a screencap from a fairly poor quality video. Hope she doesn’t mind since I didn’t ask first.

January 27, 2012
Categories: Interviews . Tags: , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 9 Comments

Aspiring Armitage — Part 1

January 27, 2012

This week as with all weeks in RA Universe, there is discussion about Richard Armitage and his roles, and how he may or may not have succeeded, and what will he do in the future, and I don’t know the answer to all of that. I doubt any fans do, but of course it’s fascinating to speculate. With respect to his not meeting expectations as an actor for some, the success of his first leading role in ‘North and South’ has a little something to do with setting expectations unrealistically. That role would have been hard for anyone to follow not to mention dealing with the fan reaction. If he had been an egoist or his agent encouraged him to be one, he might have handled it all differently. He might have appeared more polished, more on top of his game, more homogenized, which so many of us have come to expect and swallow and then move on.

But he seemed to come with unmanufactured responses which gave credence to his being like the rest of us and not knowing quite what to do with his situation. He’s also gone so far as to tell us he’s a slow mover. Not in terms of his ability to think or his stamina, but in terms of exposure to life and fleshing out his identity as an actor and as a person. Upon first reading those statements, I thought it was nothing but self-deprecation in a cagey attempt to set the bar low enough not to disappoint the public in future, which is fine. But I’ve pondered them quite a bit since then, and there is something that smacks of normal. I know there is no such thing, but he seems to continually manifest a sense of “I need to step back and take stock of what’s going on,” which is a type of sanity we know instinctively when we encounter it. The world of drama doesn’t seem to be replete with that, so he stands out. Or maybe it’s just to me. Then again, he might be a better actor than I realize. When he whips that look of a mind reader onto the camera, I start second guessing myself. LOL!

Screencaps from ‘North and South’ DVD Extras courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

January 27, 2012
Categories: Interviews, North and South . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 22 Comments

In the Nick of Time

For those who don’t know it, I’m participating in Project 365 this year, and for the most part, it’s been fairly easy. But today was a killer. The mistake was not scheduling my post. I knew I was going to be away for most of the day with the possibility of not getting near a computer. I started to blog from my phone, but that’s a pain. I would say it’s a bitch, but that wouldn’t be classy, and this blog does strive to be classy a little bit, and I’m in need of some couth right now.

I’ve spent the day with the middle school girls’ basketball team. I was their bus driver. Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment, but really, it’s because I have a middle school basketball player, and this is an easy way for me to get to her games. Seriously, I do enjoy the kids, and middle school girls love to sing on the bus, which makes it even more interesting. Tonight’s playlist:

I like some of these songs, but four hours of this (two there and two back)? I couldn’t get home fast enough and glad to be here typing. Sorry no Richard Armitage. Maybe tomorrow. :D

January 26, 2012
Categories: Tangents . Tags: , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 8 Comments

Still on Facebook? Get Ready…

Any longtime readers of this blog know I have little love for Facebook. However, I realize it is sometimes a necessary evil on the Web. Perhaps the day is coming when that won’t be true, but for now, we’re stuck with it. And if you’re on FB and have not checked out the new Timeline, you need to do it before it’s thrust on you next week. Yep, FB is once again making a major change which compromises privacy. Aren’t you weary of this? I am and was a long time ago. When I heard about this on Mashable yesterday, I groaned and decided I wasn’t even going to talk about it. But a FB post from Grati prompted me to say something.

In my original daft of this post, I started listing the issues with the new timeline and became so irritated, I chucked it. I’m going to cheat and let someone else tell you about it:

Facebook Timeline mandatory rollout: You have 7 days to scour your past
By Mike Wehner, Tecca | Today in Tech – 21 hrs ago

The time to edit your online persona is now

Facebook is the virtual home to more than 800 million active users, so any change to how the network operates is a big deal. And nothing could be bigger for the social hotspot than completely revamping everyone’s front-facing profile page, and that is exactly what is happening today. Starting this morning, the new Timeline feature — that up until now has been an optional switch — is now mandatory.

The Timeline differs from the default profile pages we know and love in several ways. Now, rather than showcasing only your most recent posts, your personal front page can be scrolled back months or years at a time. Most importantly, this change can offer visitors a glimpse at your entire social networking past, all the way back to the day that you joined up. The revamp can be both a blessing and a curse for seasoned social networkers, as it can produce a bit of pleasant nostalgia, but also drag up some of your less proud public moments.

Left untouched, your Timeline may remind of you of breakups, job troubles, or even a few unfortunate party photos that you have long since buried. Depending on your settings, these black marks on your digital past could allow new followers — including friends or business associates — to see a side of you that was better kept tucked away.

Read the rest here

Isn’t Facebook fun? But hey, if you really want some of the old stuff back, there is almost always a way. If you read that link and say, “But Frenz, I use Internet Explorer?!!” we need to talk.

Of course the usual comments will be made, “you shouldn’t have posted there in the first place,” “or I don’t use Facebook [with the implication being how smart they were to avoid it in the first place]”. No offense to those potential commenters, but this post is not for you, and those kinds of comments do nothing to repair someone’s timeline. Although I heartily agree with you, and it should be common sense by now that anything posted on the Web (no matter how secure it supposedly may be) is subject to being publicized. If someone doesn’t agree with this, you need to know that Mark Zuckerberg considers the age of privacy over (interesting how the video where he said that is no longer).

Do you think this might be one very good reason Richard Armitage has avoided social media? Smart boy.

January 25, 2012
Categories: Tangents . Tags: , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 13 Comments

My Trip to New Zealand

No, I’m not going, but I dream about it. The next few months might be a good time to go since Peter Jackson and company will be back shooting in the next few days:

Peter Jackson Cuts Sundance Short; Returns to New Zealand for ‘Hobbit’
Details here

Wonder if SO would feel funny about me being gone for several weeks to get that bottle of wine.

edit: I got this piece of news via a Tweet from Violet at The Framework Blog. If you have not read that blog, do it. She always makes me laugh, and that’s dear in this ferocious world.

January 24, 2012
Categories: Movies, SO, The Hobbit . Tags: , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 17 Comments

Going Where No One Ought to Go

If I’ve ever been tempted to say WTF?! this is it:

Evening apparel, ten thousand dollars+; awards gala, several hundred thousand dollars; trying too hard, priceless.

No matter how many times I see this picture, that question will not go away.

January 23, 2012
Categories: Tangents . Tags: , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 2 Comments

One more nod to Matt, and this one is for all of you Apple bigots. It's also a fitting post for the Chinese New Year.

Matthew Eilar's avatarhammer & jack

EDIT: This American Life has retracted the episode after Mike Daisey was found to have fabricated some of the information he presented in the episode. Links to clarifying information and my take here.

If anybody didn’t catch last week’s episode of This American Life, “Mr. Daisey and the Factory,” you should listen to it right away. The episode is an hourlong excerpt of Mike Daisey’s one man show, The Agony and the Ecstacy of Steve Jobs, a timely monologue about Steve Jobs and the working conditions in the factories in China that make most of the world’s electronics, from iPhones to Xboxes.

One thing that I was thinking about while I was listening to the episode was what it means, in this day and age, to be a prophet. Because Mike Daisey sounds like a prophet. I think we have a confused concept of what a…

View original post 521 more words

January 23, 2012
Categories: Tangents . Tags: , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 11 Comments

Have You Read Matt Yet?

Hmmm, two pieces in a row with a question in the title. I need more coffee. That little bean is the source of about half my clever thoughts. The other half is from reading people who take me on a journey and make me consider or reconsider. One of them is Matt. Originally, I read his blog to hear his thoughts about music, and I’ve stayed to learn much more. Over the two years I’ve been reading, Matthew has been evolving as a writer and thinker, and usually posts something fascinating. The piece today highlights beautiful explanations, and is the perfect piece for me to bring to your attention since I often think of Matt’s blog pieces with that description.

Hope you check him out. And believe it or not, most of my favorite websites have nothing to do with Richard Armitage although I would imagine he would like Matt too.

Note: never saw Matt before I started reading his blog. Just giving credit where it’s due. :D

January 23, 2012
Categories: Tangents . Tags: , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 1 Comment

Widows on the Web

One of the ways I’ve connected to other Richard Armitage fans is through their fan fiction, and when I stumbled onto the GuyxMarian community at Livejournal in late 2008, a new addiction was born. :D I found a treasure trove of stories to keep me well occupied with the continuing saga of Guy and Marian, and the first Gisborne fiction I read was by Spikesbint (some of you may know her as Angelfish69 or the Admin of Armitage Daily or simply Angela). Little did I know how high she would set the bar with “Prisoners of Circumstance.” It is a tightly written story that resolves GxM in a way that left such a warm feeling when I first read it. Still feeling it after three plus years. LOL! But it was a story that became even more satisfying because it’s complete. Thank you, Angela.

Another one I read early on was “Fallout”*. Bookishy, the author, has done a great job capturing the Guy and Marian characters and potentially making them something else, and I would love to see how she develops them further, but the piece remains incomplete. It has not been updated since 2009. Maybe her imagination got distracted by something. I do give her credit for that possibly being the case. But dammit! I want the ending of that story, and I hope she’ll come back and take mercy on all of us and finish it. I’ve been waiting to say that for almost three years! :D

I wish “Fallout” were the only story left dangling or at least one of just a few fan fictions that remain unfinished, but there are many stories waiting for an ending. That frustrates me, and I’m not alone. A couple of years ago a friend of mine, who is also a fan fiction writer, posted her frustration about it on IMDb. I told her when I was starting this blog that I was going to save what she wrote and post it at some point. She was fine with that, and I’m not only posting it, but making it a permanent page on my blog. Not because I have an ax to grind with fan fiction authors. Not at all. I’ve loved witnessing people trying their hands at writing and have marveled at the imaginations and abilities of many of you. In fact, your efforts were part of the impetus for this blog. Which brings me to the real point of this piece.

I do not want my Diary of an RA Fan to be a widow on the web — something that starts but eventually goes nowhere. At one point in the life of this blog, I was thinking about scrapping my diary entries as they are not really conducive to publication and have to be heavily edited. I’ve pondered for a long time about finishing, and several of you have counseled me about that and several of you have sent me notes asking me for more entries. I thank all of you for your input. I started and I’m going to finish! But I need the fan fiction page to keep me focused.

As to fan fiction, I plan to say a lot more about it this year. In the meantime, some words of wisdom from broughps.

Graphic by Angela.

January 22, 2012
Categories: Fandom, Robin Hood . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Author: RAFrenzy . Comments: 6 Comments

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